Dave Barry's Blog

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Florida bear attacks, takes off with reindeer Christmas decoration

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Half a Million Worth of ‘Floating Gold’ Found in Dead Whale

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

'DESIGNER'

This designer purse that looks like a brown paper bag costs $2,500

(Thanks to Linda Schutjer)

WHICH IS MARGINALLY BETTER THAN DEAD ONES

Bloke's bulge causes stir as airport staff catch him with live otters stuffed in his pants

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN MOTOR SPORTS

The Forklift Driving World Championship Is a Surprisingly Exciting Event

(Thanks to Ralph)

AS IS HER CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT

Woman Enters MRI Machine With a Gun, Gets Shot in Butt

(Thanks to Frank and Not My Usual Alias, who says: "I have had enough radiation in the past year that at one point I could warm my coffee by holding it in both hands for 90 seconds. A person concealing a firearm for an MRI seems to be a waste of perfectly good radiation.")

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

STAND TALL, AUSTRALIA, IF YOU CAN STILL STAND

Australian men visit 99 pubs in 24 hours to break world record

(Thanks to EricY)

NIVEAU D'ALERTE : ÉLEVE

Krispy Kreme has invaded France.

(Thanks to Howard from Broward)

CHANUKAH

Have a happy one!

SO IT WAS A SPOTTED OWL

Baby owl hangs undetected on Kentucky family’s Christmas tree for 4 days before spotted by cleaner

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

IT WAS IN THE DAIRY AISLE

ISS astronauts find tomato that was lost in space for 8 months

(Thanks to MOTW, who says "Soon to be a motion picture: Lost In Space: the Ketchup Chronicles")

WE'RE WONDERING WHAT PERCENTAGE THE CHIMPS GET

Paintings made by chimps selling for as much as $10,000 at Miami's Art Basel

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

FOR AN ADDITIONAL CHARGE THEY'LL SPIT IN YOUR FOOD

A Japanese izakaya bar has come under fire for offering patrons the rather controversial service of being slapped on their faces before having their meals served.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

THEN IT DIED OF A HEART ATTACK

A plane fueled by fat and sugar has crossed the Atlantic Ocean

(Thanks to B&C)

GUYS IN ACTION

California deer statue vandal revealed as amorous buck

(Thanks to John Lobert and Peter Metrinko)

HE WAS DELICIOUS

New Jersey police chase down pig named Albert Einswine

(Thanks to John Lobert)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Little girl 'batters Elf on the Shelf to death' in toilet roll prank gone wrong

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE'RE NOT SURE WE WOULD WANT THIS WOMAN PREPARING OUR FOOD

Woman Who Threw a Burrito Bowl at Chipotle Staffer Was Just Sentenced to Working at a Fast Food Restaurant

(Thanks to MOTW, Barry Nester, B&C, Rick Day, Matt Filar and Laura)

IN OTHER WORDS, LIKE ZOOM

Interstellar astronauts would face years-long communication delays due to time dilation

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)