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December 04, 2012

And you are? The Art Basel celebrity blitzkrieg (or lack thereof)

Not all celebrities piss their money away on booze, pills and Bentleys--they get all those for free. Some actually pay for art. Serious collectors include Madonna, David Bowie, the Beckhams, Leonardo DiCaprio, Steve Martin, Kate Moss, Brangelina, Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah. And while we'd raise every single Kardashian past, present, and future for any one of the aforementioned, not all will appear at Art Basel because, well, they have people who do that for them. Then there are those who appear at the art fairs under the guise of being a collector, and those who are actually interested in art and not just the Patrick McMullan photo op. Whatever the case, we'll take 'em. So far, the name dropping is underwhelming plus or minus a few exceptions (see below and see our earlier post on all the parties), and the sightings pretty much nonexistent. Last year's Art Basel Miami Beach Most Ubiquitous Celebrity was a tie between Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas and Naomi Campbell. Who, if anyone, will take the title this year? Stay tuned.

Celebrity Spawn: It's not nepotism, it's just lucky genes. Oh, and, in some cases, talent. Will Smith's 20-year-old son Trey, aka DJ AcE, will do his best to prove the latter when he spins a four-hour set Friday, December 7 at swank karaoke lounge Jelsomino. On Saturday, he'll spin at Bâoli Miami for a crowd said to include his famous dad and stepmom Jada.  Yep, it's part of Basel, but more importantly, Justin Bieber's a Trey fan. Art, what?

Artist Spawn: Vito Schnabel, 26, is the art dealer son of artist and filmmaker Julian Schnabel. The younger Schnabel is also reportedly dating Demi Moore, who at 50, is closer in age to the elder Schnabel, 61. May-December, December-May, all we care about is this December, specifically the 6th, when the couple may emerge together at the big Dom Pérignon Luminous Rosé party at Wall.

Channeling Vanna White (Or An Executioner): On Thursday, December 6, former Entourage star Jeremy Piven, front runner for Art Basel's Most Random Celebrity, will flip the switch on the InterContinental Miami’s new 19-story LED Digital Canvas. The event will also feature a specially curated exhibit, “Light Show,” by Patrick McMullan, and an appearance by legendary Warholian Factory worker Ultra Violet, who will showcase one of her 9/11 sculptures. We asked a PR rep about Piven's involvement and she said, "Piven and the characters he has portrayed embody an aura of confidence and coolness that reflect the InterContinental Miami’s brand. Our $30 million renovation is fashion forward, cosmopolitan and contemporary. We wanted to align our hotel with someone that evokes the here and now – someone that’s willing to take a chance – someone who loves Miami. Jeremy is all of these things."

And a whole lot more, apparently. According to our spy, Piven, who bailed from the flip switching because he said the digital images of a dancing woman was bad for his image (!) was hot on the trail of a comely redhead seen dining with him and an, uh, entourage, at the InterContinental's Toro Toro. Said redhead we're told, "wouldn't give him the time of day," although she may have given him the time of the previous day. Says our spy, "She snubbed him and he was pissed." He wasn't the only one.

Less Than Six Degrees of Lindsay Lohan: Spanish artist Domingo Zapata may or may not have been dating Lindsay Lohan, but his profession of love for her on Twitter was a masterpiece of performance art. Then there was that unfortunate Porsche incident that had the even less fortunate connection to The Real Housewives of Miami. But that was in September. Fast forward to today and Zapata has reportedly traded up and may or may not be dating Scarlett Johansson. Whatever the deal is there, it did give the folks throwing the big VIP dinner honoring Zapata Friday night at the SLS South Beach a free pass to drop Johansson's name as one of the expected guests. Whether she will appear in name only is yet to be seen, but it may be the first time you'll see Johansson's name in the same sentence as Pitbull. He's on the list too, and probably has his own ties to the trainwreck whose portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor had seismologists thinking the rumblings from below was The Big One. Also on Zapata's guest list for the unveiling of one of his murals at Wall nightclub: former Lohan BFF Paris Hilton, Owen Wilson, Stephen Dorff and George Clooney's ex, Elizabetta Canalis.

The Art of the Stalk: The actual VIP preview of Art Basel at the Convention Center is ripe with sightings of real life artists, art lovers and celebs. Plus a few crashers and self important types. But enough about those. That overly manicured woman decked out in labels? No pot to piss in. The schlumpy one? That's Diane von Furstenberg. Oh, there's Puff Diddy too. Basel, Switzerland gets Brad Pitt, Miami gets Puffy Daddy. Talk about an unfair exchange rate. Then there's Will Ferrell, hiding under a baseball cap and behind a mustache that's far from ironic, no doubt looking for fodder and comedic inspiration in all the Basel dizzle. That, or he really just wants to buy some art. He was, after all, at a big bash for artist Christian Marclay at the original art festival in Switzerland. As for his mustache, this may be its first Basel experience.

We'll Always Have Paris: Then there's the Paris Hilton factor. As 2003 as it may be, the one who started it all, the famous-for-nothing heiress who many blame for the inexplicable phenom that is the Kardashian, doesn't miss an Art Basel or a photo op. She's baack! Like it or not, people are still fascinated (or appalled) by her. We witnessed an amused Micky Arison glaring at Hilton and her sister Nicky last year at Aby Rosen's chichi Dutch dinner party. This year is no different.Just ask the people at Diane von Furstenberg's lunch Wednesday launching the designer's limited edition Evian bottle. Sure, Chelsea Handler and beau Andre Balazs were there as was Russell Simmons, but Paris and sister Nicky still know how to work a crowd.

MarciaCrossTomMahoney.jpgDesperate Housewives: Overheard at The Webster, where Martha Stewart (in the running for Basel's Most Ubiquitous--see below) and Hollywood's most prominent proboscis, Owen Wilson, were also seen at Valentino's Pop Pois Capsule Collection party: Lady in red-There's that woman from Desperate Housewives! Lady in chartreuse-The drag queen? Red-No, Marcia Cross! Cross was also seen with her husband Tom Mahoney Wednesday night at The Hole Gallery and Playboy’s party at the Delano. Also there: switch flipper Jeremy Piven (see above). (Photo/

Serg Alexander/Getty Images)


MarthaStewartMartha, Martha, Martha! : Despite, gasp,  suffering salmonella poisoning from turkeys at Thanksgiving, Martha Stewart is fully recovered and making her rotations in a carefully choreographed way only she can, often seemingly seen in three places at once like she was last night, first at theaforementioned Valentino party, then making napkin origami eating at South Street restaurant and later appearing at the chichi Haute Living and Roger Dubuis Dom Perignon dinner with Dubuis ambassador, artist and (not so ironically) beer heiress Daphne Guinness at Villa Azur. Also seen there: diminuitive actor Stephen Dorff, most recently starring in a wet bathing suit with BFF Owen Wilson in Rio on Perez Hilton's website. And while Wilson & Dorff (also in the running for Basel's Most Ubiquitous) are in their youthful 40s, no one parties younger than the 71-year-old Stewart, who is also expected at Thursday night's Reprise Parisienne at Villa 221, a Cirque du Soleil on mood enhancing drugs featuring bearded ladies, among other things, that's also expected to attract, among others, Macaulay Culkin, whom, last we saw, could stand to benefit from a Stewart-curated cookie or twenty. Benefiting from the talents of Michael Schwartz and Hedy Goldsmith, Martha had lunch Thursday with South Beach Wine & Food Festival's Lee Schrager at Michael's Genuine Food & Drink. (Photo/Wireimage)


Stewart v. Wilson & Dorff: Dorff separated from his boy Owen for a brief time at the Chanel and Art.sy affair at Soho Beach House last night, but he wasn't alone--Martha was there too. Watch out, Owen, you're on the verge of being replaced.


178870711,57C5A171CD9E5B7F522L'ésprit de Chanel: About that Chanel shindig. It was a scene that would have made Coco proud despite a few earlier disinivitations to some prominent Miami art folk. But it wasn't about Miami last night, it was about Demi Moore, who contrary to other reports wasn't acting weird, she was just having a good time. In Chanel. In town with her new boytoy Vito Schnabel. Demi, we've been expecting you. Also at the Chanel dinner that raised over $1 million to benefit the Dash Snow Initiative for the Henry Street Settlement: Lenny Kravitz and Stacy Keibler (!). Seen at the after party: Will Ferrell, not to be confused with Pharrell, who was also there and just listed his Miami penthouse at $16.8 million, Twilight's Kellan Lutz, Naomi Campbell (last year's most ubiquitous), and did we mention Martha Stewart? (Photos/Getty Images/Dimitrios Kambouris) 

Moore, Moore, Moore: Moore was also seen ushering in the new flash season of Le Baron at chic karaoke lounge Jelsomino. While she didn't do any renditions of Kurt Weill's "September Song," she and pal Stacey Keibler were, says our spy, "Having girly time," and were there with some male pals but alas, no 26-year-old boytoy Vito Schnabel.

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JOE_2751Double Dutch Bustle: It was a surrealistic painting come to life at the Thursday night dinner thrown by real estate tycoon Aby Rosen and wife/shrink/socialite Samantha Boardman at The Dutch. A name dropper's heaven, the night was straight out of a Tom Wolfe novel, where tycoons mixed with reality schlock, heirs, heiresses and Owen Wilson. In one corner: the Kardashians--Kim and Kourtney, who just joined for dessert; in another, Paris and Nicky Hilton. There was also Paris's ex Stavros Niarchos with his model girlfriend Jessica Hart, Chelsea Handler and Andre Balazs, Stephen Dorff and the young Brant boys (Peter Jr. and Harry) who make Gossip Girl look like Sweet Valley High . Then there was the after party at Wall where Carmelo Anthony, Gavin DeGraw, and Kellan Lutz rubbed elbows with artists and socialites they've never heard of and where Kanye West flipped the bird. Klassy. Absent? Demi Moore (seen, instead, strolling around The Shore Club with a small group) despite the fact that her rumored beau was throwing the party. Let the pictures do the talking.(Photos/Joe Schildhorn /BFAnyc.com Copyright: ©BFA)