[Thanks to all of today's live chatters. Do it every Wednesday 1-2 p.m. Click HERE to join us live then, to read transcripts or to post questions any time. Also, follow at Twitter.com/gregcote]
KNICKS LANDING 'MELO COMPLICATES HEAT TITLE DRIVE: New York loves stars and big headlines, media as much as fans, and pictured is the New York Post splash welcoming Carmelo Anthony in the mega-deal completed late last night. The Knickerbockers, pairing Anthony with Amare Stoudemire, think they have joined Boston and Miami (OK, and Orlando and Chicago) as NBA Eastern Conference power-brokers. Maybe. But if NYK in turn can now sign Chris Paul this coming summer, which becomes much more likely now, then yes. A Big 3 is all the rage now; every team needs to have one. The point is the Knicks suddenly are in position to be a team to be reckoned with, another big, neon obstacle to Miami's dynasty dream as the league's power continues its West-to-East shift. This trade's impact on the Heat isn't the only interest to South Florida. There are plenty of indications that former NBA star and current FIU coach Isiah Thomas (left) helped lure Anthony and broker this deal behind the scenes, as a presumed precursor to Knicks owner James Dolan now bringing Thomas back to the Knicks in a president/GM-type role. Have the Knicks become a major rival to the Heat's title hopes? Take a dip in our poll.
'THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI': The show debuts tonight, and I feel like Sally Field in Absence of Malice stealing papers off lawns, except I want to steal televisions so nobody can watch this. I dare say the real housewives of Miami will be embarrassed by The Real Housewives of Miami. Why would anyone agree to appear on this most shaming franchise in all of not-really-reality TV? Better we should return to the days when the negative connotation of Miami involved murder and cocaine. The six housewives, pictured, are a six-pack of vapidity begging two questions: 1) Aren't there any black women in Miami? Not even one? Or is it that all the black women in Miami had too much pride to agree to be on this show? 2) I don't think Marysol Patton, second from left, has had enough work done. If those lips were any wider or less real looking she'd be Heath Ledger as The Joker. Ooh, too mean? Sorry, Marysol and you five others, but the exchange for your new piss-ant, Snookie-esque celebrity is that you are under now under a microscope that exposes every pore. I have a feeling the hardest-working man in show business is going to be the guy applying the makeup for this show.
SHOCKEY TO DOLPHINS?: Fox's Jay Glazer reporting the Saints have terminted the contract of tight end Jeremy Shockey, the ex-Cane. Let's start some Shockey-to-Dolphins momentum. He's still better offensively than what they have at that position.
WADE NBA'S TOP FASHION PLATE: Sports Illustrated polled 136 NBA players, asked, "Who has the best fashion sense off the court? " and Heat's Dwyane Wade won big with 29 percent. Next: Kobe Bryant 13% and LeBron James 11%. Pictured left: Wade, being extremely fashionable. [Updated NBA championship odds, via Bodog.com: Heat favored at 11-5, then Celtics 7-2, Lakers 4-1 and Spurs 9-2. For MVP it's LeBron James 2-1, Derrick Rose 5-2, Kevin Durant 5-1 and Amare Stoudemire 11-2. Over/under on Carmelo Anthony's scoring average as a Knick: 27.5].
TREVOR BAYNE SAVES NASCAR: The five years of the Jimmie Johnson reign have been no remedy for NASCAR, which has seen attendance, sponsorships and TV ratings dip during his unthrilling (except to his fans) dominance. A resurgence by popular Dale Earnhardt Jr. would work wonders as the sport's ultimate tonic, but his winless streak has stretched to 94 races now. Vladimir and Estragon waited for Godot less time than we've been Waiting For Junior. NASCAR is looking for a savior, and may have found one in Trevor Bayne (pictured), Sunday's youngest-ever Daytona 500 champion, fresh face personified, one day past his 20th birthday. I have socks older than him. Click here from my column off the race from the Speedway.
A QUESTION FOR DOG OWNERS: This does not apply to me because my old dog Sandy surveys and sniffs her own fenced-in backyard before choosing where to take a crap. But, to the people who walk their dogs so they can crap on other people's lawns: Isn't it true you carry that little plastic bag just for show and that you only pretend to scoop up Fido's gift? I think so. I think you do a quick glance to see if anyone is watching, do the bend-n-pretend, then walk away with a secret grin. Busted!
Click back. Will be adding more stuff to this new post throughout the day...
LIL' WAYNE RIPS LEBRON, D-WADE: Rapper Lil' Wayne (pictured) gives his first post-jail interview in the latest Rolling Stone and a small part of it is a big rip-job on Heat stars LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, who apparently ignored him when he attended a game in Miami. The quote is verbatim, but sanitized somewhat by me: "Them n----- never speak to a n----. They don't chuck me the deuce or nothing. N---- spent all that money on them f---ing tickets ... come holla at me. We sit right by them little b----ass n-----. At least come ask me why I'm rooting for you." Evidently they didn't, and so presumably he isn't rooting for them anymore.
[News flash: Ireland re-ups: At about 11:15 this morning (Saturday), the Dolphins announced that GM Jeff Ireland had signed a contract extension. Leave it up to you to decide if that's good news or not].
DID DOLPHINS, CANES HIT OR MISS ON NEW OFFENSIVE-COORDINATOR HIRES?: New Dolphins offensive coordinator Brian Daboll, 35, with his intentionally shaved-bald head, looks like the grandchild of Uncle Fester. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The two are pictured. Miami held a press conference to introduce Daboll -- itself remarkable for the secretive franchise -- and, other than him not being Josh McDaniels, it went well. You know from this previous column I sort of like the hire, even though he's from the Cleveland Browns. He has some pieces to work with here. The key, of course: Making Chad Henne better. By a good bit, and right now. (By the way, Dan Le Batard wrote a pro-Henne column this week and got a nice thank-you email from the QB's mom, Sue Henne. So you see, kids, no matter how old you are or what you do, Moms are always Moms). Not everybody like Daboll. Saints FB Heath Evans worked with him two years in New England and said this about Daboll on ESPN 760: "The Dolphins probably just got worse. He was never a guy that I would call the brains of the operation." UM also has a new OC in Jedd Fisch, from the Seattle Seahawks. Coach Al Golden never even met Fisch before hiring. Risky? Fisch isn't pictured here ecause he doesn't look like anybody funny. Your turn to weigh in on both new hires. I know, I know. Wait and see, right? But I'm running a daily blog here, not a damned encyclopedia. So give us your gut reactions:
CANES CAN'T PENETRATE FSU'S MILITARY-GRADE DEFENSE: Ex-UM coach Leonard Hamilton brought him some serious defense down here in last night's 55-53 victory over host Miami, a big ACC game. Good lord, UM had no low-post game, and poor Durand Scott (3-for-12, 8 points), pictured doing what he couldn't do last night. needed a search warrant to get into the key. Kid could not penetrate for a layup. It's still early, but coach Frank Haith's Hurricanes (12-6, 1-3 ACC) are not looking like a Big Dance squad. Not from this conference. (On the other hand, Katie Meier's Canes women are looking, to me, like Sweet Sixteen stuff. Or better. That is one really, really good team.
EXCITEMENT FOR NFL FINAL-FOUR BUILDS, MISSPELLINGS ASIDE: Bearing down on Jets-Steelers and Packers-Bears Sunday. Anticipation rising. Aside to the Green Bay Press-Gazette: This will be the record 182nd time your team has played the Bears. Please learn how to spell "Chicago." These should be great semifinals: Chicaco at Grene Bay, and Neu York at Pittsberg.
ASHLEY MADISON BLACKBALLED, AS IT WERE: Ashley Madison.com, the company that fosters marital infidelity with the credo "Life Is Short, Have An Affair," had its proposed Super Bowl ad rejected by the NFL. Click on this spot to watch the ad in a YouTube video. Two thoughts: 1) If I'm going to cheat on my wife, how pathetic that I might need to enlist a dot-com pimp to hook me up. 2) The company of course knew its "ad" would be rejected, and of course counted on resulting publicity via YouTube and willing accomplices such as, evidently ... myself. Guerilla advertising. God bless America.
HERE ARE TWO GUESSES ON DOLPHINS' NO. 1 DRAFTEE: ESPN.com's Todd McShay, in his new mock draft, has Miami at No. 15 overall selecting Gators center Mike Pouncey. Hmm. Interior O-line is a definite need, but that seems a bit high for a guy who isn't as good as his brother Maurkice, of the Steelers. But the even newer guesswork of King Mock himself, Mel Kiper Jr., has Miami selecting Alabama running back Mark Ingram. He's the top RB in the draft but some think he'd be a bit of a reach at 15. The only near-certainty at this point is that Dolphins will target offense.
VENUS' DRESS IS FROM MARS: Pictured right, Venus Williams in the dress she wore yesterday during the Australian Open. The only guess? She lost a bet.
NEW AMERICAN IDOL LACKS BITE: Simon Cowell is missed. No way around that one, based on the debut of the new season of American Idol last night. (Yes I watch it. Guilty pleasure. Sue me). Neither of the new judges -- Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler or Dolphins part owner-by-marriage Jennifer Lopez -- seem suited to the claws-out role. Where's Ricky Gervais when you need him?
THE LIST: DOLPHINS OFFENSIVE COORDINATORS: Somebody has always run the offense and called plays, but these are the only nine men to have held the title "offensive coordinator, according to the Dolphins:
SECOND-ROUND PLAYOFFS: NFL down to its final six now as the countdown to the Miami Super Bowl is today/Sunday at 21 days. Love to keep saying the phrase "Miami Super Bowl." It lets me sort of pretend the Dolphins are in it, almost, in a way. Anyhow, back to reality. Saints and Colts are in after winning Saturday and will host next week's conference title games. Today we learn who their underdog-opponents will be. Your thoughts on yesterday's games and today's matchups invited here.
My kingdom for a decent game! The six playoff games entering today have been won by an average margin of 17.2 points and produced one compelling game. And that was before the Cowboys-Vikes blowout.
VIKINGS 34, COWBOYS 3 (Final) -- Ouch. That last TD pass with less than 2 minutes left might have been rubbing in it ... Brett Favre to Sidney Rice twice for 14-3 ... Original post: This to me was the toughest game of the weekend's four to pick and should be the best game. Vikes are favored by three points although it almost feels like Dallas should be. I pick Minnesota 28-24 and siding with a home fave has seldom felt so much like an upset pick. I put a lot of stock in an 8-0 home record, in the magic left in Brett Favre's paw, in Adrian Peterson coming alive, and in Minny's run-D doing a better job than Philly did last week.
JETS 17, CHARGERS 14 (Final): Nate Kaeding, former NFL kicker ... Original post: This is the only weekend game that feels lopsided to me. Chargers favored by 7 1/2 and I pick the Bolts, 27-13, with a potential for an even bigger rout. SD might be best team in NFL right now, on an 11-game win streak, and Jets don't have the offensive pop to keep up. By the way, I do no intentionally try to annoy Jets fans. I really don't. It is just a pleasant byproduct of my picks. Like a bonus.
Saturday's results:
SAINTS 45, CARDINALS 14 (Final) -- No. 1 seed Fleur de Lis hosting NFC title game next week ... Had Saints, but figured 'Zona would show up a little better. Man! N'Awlins shook off that rusty pretty good. Who dat! ... Arizona allowed 90 points in its two playoffs games. Oy! ... Over/under on this game was around 58, seemed low early but turned out right on-point ... Somebody revoke Cards' playoff card! Arizona has allowed 66 points the past five quarters through the first today ... Original post: A gunslingin' shootout between Kurt Warner and Drew Brees is all but a guarantee, with the over/under approaching 60 and the prospect of 700 combined passing yards not unrealistic. N'Awlins favored by 7; my pick is Saints winning but not covering, 34-30. I must side with the NFL's highest-scoring offense, at home, against a 'Zona defense that got rappy-cacked* pretty good by the Pack last week. (*Rappy-cacked. That's phonetic; not positive on the spelling. It's a shoutout to Rick Weaver. Anybody remember Rick Weaver?).
COLTS 20, RAVENS 3 (Final) -- Baltimore's offensive coordinater, Cam Cameron, hasn't enjoyed this kind of success since 2007 ... Indy scores huge cushion-TD in closing seconds of first half when Reggie Wayne reaches ball over goalline just ahead of Ray Lewis in duel of great ex-Canes ... First TD of game at 2-minute warning of first half ... Don't count on on another pointfest here ... Joe Flacco reportedly has hip issues, but will play. Original post: Interesting contrast of physical vs. finesse, ferocious defense vs. poppin' O, Ray Lewis staring down Peyton Manning. Indy favored by 6 1/2; I like Colts but barely, 21-20. I worry about Nags' run-D stopping Ray Rice. Also wonder if Indy can shake that late-season letdown and get all the cylinders flying on cue. Venue and Peyton swing the pick, but a Balt upset would not surprise.
60 MINUTES CATCHES UP ON SAMOA: CBS' 60 Minutes, appealing to the oldest demographic this side of Murder, She Wrote, has a piece on Sunday's show on why so many NFL players come from tiny American Samoa. Sure, the piece may be several years tardy. Watch anyway. I hear the segment includes footage of a 380-pound Samoan nose tackle pancaking Andy Rooney.
NFL TV RATINGS GONE WILD: Last week's four Wild Card Weekend games together were the most watched in 15 years, and a 16 percent spike over a year earlier. Packers-Cardinals, with 34.4 million viewers, was the league's most watched first-round playoff game since 1999. Analysts credit Greg Cote's blog.
[ME TV: Thanks again to Kim Bokamper and CB4 for having us on the SportsZone show last night to chat up NFL playoffs.
[Chat: Thanks to all who celebrated our live-chat's move to Wednesdays! Join us every Wednesday from 1-2 p.m. or post a question at any time by clicking Chatcity. Twitter: Our latest followers include HurricaneSports, MiamiNewTimes and some local guy. What do they know that you don't? Twitter.com/gregcote]
Update: NFL commish does what Miami-Dade judge didn't:The NFL late this afternoon suspended Browns receiver Donte Stallworth indefinitely without pay for the DUI-manslaughter guilty plea that brought only a one-month prison sentence from the Miami court system. In NFLspeak, Browns fans, I'm thinking that means half the season. At least.
The all-time greatest athlete is...:I say today in this column that it's Michael Jordan leading my list of the top 15 greatest athletes ever. The column is generating a ton of e-mail from readers offering there opinions, so I thought I'd divert the topic to the blog and throw in a poll as well. Note: The poll only allows 10 choices, so I whittled my top 15 to nine plus "other." After voting, drop a comment saying who you picked No. 1 and why.
Wade goes to Washington:Don't worry. It's not a trade. The Sun-Sentinel has the story today -- hey, credit where credit is due -- on the Heat's Dwyane Wade getting an invite to meet fly-killing President Obama (see item below) on Friday at the White House. Wade will speak to local youth in D.C. about achieving goals, then participate in a round-table discussion, all geared around Father's Day and responsibility. I suspect a quick game of 1-on-1 on the White House basketball court may happen as well. (Dear Mr. President: If you have time, in between hosting sports stars, could you please fix the economy? Thanks.)
Miami loses road-rage crown:Sad news. Miami, after four straight years leading the nation in road rage, has fallen to seventh in the latest poll, with New York, Dallas/Fort Worth and Detroit checking in 1-2-3 for angriest and most aggressive drivers. This is an outrage. How can Miami drivers -- augmented by all the transplanted New Yorkers down here -- not lead the league in tailgating, horns, fingers and guns? I demand a recount!
Bernie Kosar's financial woes:We hear Bernie Kosar, former UM championship quarterback, may announce today he is filing for bankruptcy. No jokes on this one. Sorry to hear it. Bernie is a good guy and a local hero and we wish him well.
Welcome to Mourning High, home of the Fightin' Zos!: Miami-Dade School Board votes today whether to name a new high school in North Miami after former U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno or retired Heat star Alonzo Mourning. Hmm. Now I love Zo and all the community work he does, but Reno, as the nation's first female attorney general, probably deserves the honor more. Who;'ll get it, though? I predict Mourning. Mainly because Reno angered many Miami Cubans by ordering 6-year-old Elian Gonzalez back to Cuba and the school board will pander to that.
President Obama kills innocent fly: Barack Obama, during an interview with CNBC Tuesday in the East Room of the White House, swatted dead a nettlesome housefly that had lit on his left hand. Click on Swat Team for the video. You know, I always thought it would be fun to be a fly on the wall of the Oval Office. Not so sure anymore. No word yet whether PETA is planning an outraged protest, while a spokesfly (pictured) for the Musca Domestica Linnaeus Anti-Defamation League said that group is investigating the tragedy.
Michael Phelpstache: Champion Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps is cultivating a mustache (pictured). Friends say it may be an attempt to disguise himself and avoid publicity in the wake of that bong photo/marijuana scandal. May we then say that Mike is moving from a stash to a 'stache? Swim experts worry that any facial hair runs counter to the concept of aerodynamics and slows a competitor's time -- one reason why, in the history of Olympic swimming, no medal has ever been won by a Hassidic rabbi.
The past lives of Craig Minervini: South Florida's enduring sports broadcaster and a fixture on Florida Marlins telecasts, Minervini in the late 1980s went by the stage name Craig DeGeorge and did interviews with WWF's Superstars of Wrestling shows. He is pictured here in that early-career role. In the immortal words of Big Poppa: "If you don't know, now ya know, bloggaz."
A new load of miscellania all free and just for you...
Ready, set ... lacy bra!: Well, it's official now. Promoters out in L.A. announced they have formed a "Lingerie Football League" to supposedly launch in September 2009, an outgrowth of those Lingerie Bowl pay-per-views that air during Super Bowl halftimes. And that one of the 10 teams will be the Miami Caliente. I wish I were kidding. Click here for the league website. And here for the Miami website featuring quarterback Stella Vidal. Stellllllla! No specifics yet on rules changes or adapations, but I can imagine one might be stripper poles in the bench area. Hey I'm just sayin'!
Dolphin win tops week's NFL picks: You want to solve your own personal economic crisis? Find a bookie and plunge your entire savings onto the Dolphins (+3 points) at Houston. [Note: The preceding was not meant as financial advice and should not in any way be construed as an encouragement of illegal gambling]. Click on Week 6 Gems for all my my picks this week including my Upset Special: Cardinals over Cowboys.
Panthers open NHL season: The Florida Panthers open their 15th season tonight at Carolina before Saturday's home debut. I had a chance to sit down at some length with new coach Peter DeBoer and you'd click here to find today's column by me on him and his task. The Cats' defensive side looks solid, but it will take some stepping-up on the goal scoring side to finally end the long playoff drought. Speaking of hockey...
Ideas so awful you don't even need to see the outcome to know they're awful: Philadelphia Flyers owner Ed Snider, a big John McCain supporter, has invited Sarah Palin to drop a ceremonial puck at the Flyers' home opener Saturday night in a blatant attempt at politicking in a supposed swing state. Dear Ed: Just a wild guess, but I'm betting the "hockey mom" will be booed loudly. See if I'm right.
Phillies win despite being hated: The Philles beat the Dodgers in the NLCS opener last night, despite Fox-TV excecutives running onto the mound and tackling closer Brad Lidge in an effort to secure the network's desired Dodgers-Red Sox World Series.
Doll baby a terrorist?: A new Fisher-Price doll, Little Mommy Real Loving Baby Cuddle & Coo (pictured), is being pulled from shelves for alleging uttering a pro-Islamic message. Seriously. Click here. The baby is supposed to say only one word, "Mama," in addition to giggling, baby sounds, but supposedly is heard to utter, "Islam is the Light." Cannot confirm that on the campaign trail, Sarah Palin is now suggesting a past relationship between the baby and Barack Obama.
Wilbon champions good sense: Good for Mike Wilbon, on ESPN's Pardon the Interuption Thursday, for slamming mixed martials arts and that sham of a Kimbo Slice fight the other night on the EliteXC card down here. I columnized on this months ago: MMA is pro wrestling with different makeup, except far more barbaric. Click here for a brief synopsis of the PTI segment, in which Wilbon's co-host, my boy Dan Le Batard, defended the sport as legitimate. (Quick thought: It being popular with the young-adult-male demographic that drives sports-rant radio does not make it legitimate).
What decade is this?: Tina Turner is playing the AmericanAirlines Arena? Seriously? It'll be half-filled, if that. See if I'm right.
Roy Williams?: Anquan Boldin is better, in terms of wide receivers who may be available should the Dolphins go hunting. Boldin is worth a 2nd-round pick. I wouldn't spend that on Williams, who has had injury issues three of the past four seasons.
No Fun League: NFL fined Ronnie Brown (along with blockers Vernon Carey and Ikechuku Ndukwe) $10,000 each for last Sunday's "Cupid Shuffle" end-zone dance, contending it busted the league's prohibtion on "choreographed celebrations." I admit to mixed feelings on that stuff. Part of me goes the old-school Don Shula route and wants players to "act like they've been there before." But part of me thinks a line has been overstepped when a league instructs its players on how they can and can't show happiness. If the choreography is brief and not an obvious in-your-face disrespect of the opponent, I say let if fly.
Headlines you never thought you'd see, one in a series: Click here. (But you know what's even stranger? An hour later, a cow was arrested dressed as this woman!)
The other day I posted a "baseball fever" blog item extolling the amazin' Marlins and they proceeded to immediately drop three straight to the Reds. But the Miami Hurricanes are so good they're even impervious to my baseball jinx. Thursday night at A-Rod Presents Mark Light Field I watched No. 1-ranked UM's 12-2 pounding of No. 2 North Carolina and wrote this column. This may be the best Canes baseball team ever, although, as coach Jim Morris rightly notes, "Potential means you haven't done it yet." Likewise homegrown slugger Yonder Alonso (pictured) will leave here judged among the greatest players in school history. I'll be surprised if this team doesn't collect UM's fifth national title. Meantime I'll continue to believe Hurricane baseball's current streaks of 51 consecutive winning seasons and a record 36 straight years in the playoffs (regionals) are the most impressive statement of success of any South Florida team in any sport ever. What's better?
There's something about Ricky: Dolphin-again running back Ricky Williams told an Austin, Tex. TV station during a charity event that he plans to play two more seasons and then retire. My question: Considering his age (31) and track record ... is that even news? Yet Dolfans remain enamored of Williams. He is somewhat polarizing (plenty of haters with their drug jokes), but I think far more fans really like the guy. Maybe we'll poll that soon. Meantime, what is it about Ricky?
On missing Le Batard: Well Thursday officially began my boy Le Batard's one-year sabbatical from The Miami Herald, and we wish him well. I'd say he'll be missed ... but is it possible to miss someone who'll still be on local radio five days each week and perhaps in the paper occasionally? Anyway, until we meet again, Dan (which will be this Wednesday night at Dania Jai-Alai), bon voyage!
[My poll analysis based on the first day's results: Dan doing very well, as he should. Around 60 percent will miss him to at least some degree. Doubt I'd fare as well, even in my own blog!]
Suggested bumper sticker: Honk If Charles Barkley Owes You Money. (Click here for story).
It's Buyout Mania!: Tony Kornheiser has accepted a buyout from the Washington Post. Newspapers all across our failing industry are offering buyouts in an effort to pare costs by ridding rosters of higher-paid, older employees. I will now reveal the names of the five Miami Herald sports writers who were recently offered buyouts: They are ... Relax, colleagues. I'm just kidding. Your secret is safe with me! (Although if anybody guessed all five names correctly I might be impressed enough to admit you're right).
If Jamar Hornsby were a Cane: Hornsby is the scum-Gator quietly booted off the Florida football team this week after he'd rung up almost $3,000 in charges using the stolen credit card of a dead woman. Can you imagine if a UM football player had done the same thing? Man, it would have been national news augmented with a rehash of every controversy ever involving a Hurricane. Am I wrong?
The Best Available David: Down to David Cook vs. David Archuleta in the American Idol finals, and Random Evidence is throwing the full weight of its prestigious endorsement behind Cook. It's a weak final two. Cook is generic on the rock side, sort of a Chris Daughtry Lite, but more palatable than the cloying, annoying Archuleta (pictured left) and the maniacal Stage Dad woking his strings. Archuleta's nasally voice lends a sameness to his songs. If he weren't seen as adorable by an army of gullible, swooning 15-year-old girls, he'd have disappeared weeks ago.
Results are in ... and it's Rose!: I don't mean the Heat will draft Derrick Rose if given the chance, although that's true, too. I mean Channel 6's Joe Rose (grinning at right) has won our 'Best Local TV Sportscaster' blog poll (see post below this one). Cannot confirm runnerup Steve Shapiro of Channel 7 is pulling a Hillary and refusing to concede.
Benihana's does it again: Had a little family birthday dinner there last night and (not for the first time) our performance chef was not Japanese. This is a pet peeve I've griped about in the blog before. Doesn't a Benihana's patron have the right to expect a Japanese chef? You tell me, because I'll admit, once every five or 10 years I tend to be wrong about something.
Quarterback Who: The NFL's latest Quarterback Update, emailed by the league today to mediaites, lists "expected" starters for 26 of 32 teams. The too-close-to-call exceptions: Miami, along with the Bears, Falcons, 49ers, Jets and Ravens.
Countdown 3 Days: Finally, reminding again that I'll be taking on the Monday "Q&A Forum" online chat starting next week, May 19. It'll be live from 1-2 p.m. each Monday. Join us. Your boss won't know any better and will assume you're on your computer doing something important.
[Tuesday night bulletin: Dolphin Jason Taylor survived tonight and advances to next week's finals on 'Dancing With the Stars,' along with skater Kristi Yamaguchi and the guy with the fake arm injury whose name I can never remember. Eliminated: The chubby gal whose name I can never remember, either. In other entertainment news, if I never heard another note from David Archuleta, it wouldn't bother me].
[Tuesday night bulletin II: Feds re-indict Barry Bonds tonight on 14 counts of lying to a grand jury about using performance-enhancing drugs. Anybody still wondering why Barry is an unsigned free agent?].
Name the best South Florida TV sportscaster: Vote in our poll and drop a comment saying why you like who you do. Limited this poll to the regular on-air sports personalities for the Big Four stations serving Dade-Broward; the list is alphabetical with station channel number in parentheses:
[Poll note: Our poll format limits me to 10 answers and there are 11 local sportscasters. Sorry, Prim Siripipat of Channel 4. You got bounced because you are the newest of the group to our market].
Building a better NBA lottery system: Good column by colleague Israel Gutierrez today (click here) about the flaws in the NBA lottery system -- flaws that may well screw the Heat when the ping-pong balls fly a week from today. The whole idea of using ping-pong balls is ridiculous. Don't they know those are intended for beer pong? Might as well use tiddly winks or have the coaches of the worst teams vie for the No. 1 pick by playing Parcheesi. The real problem, of course, is that 14 teams (!) are in the running for the first pick including two that were .500 or better. Dumb. My solution: Limit the lottery to only teams that won fewer than 30 games. This year that would be seven teams. Then figure a way to weight it favoring the worst teams based on number of wins. In other words, a worst team with 15 wins (like Miami this season) would have a greater advantage than a year when the worst team has, say, 27 wins. There also should be a safeguard whereby the team with the worst record can never fall below the third overall pick. There. Next problem? How would you change the lottery system if at all?
Footballroom dancing: Is it just me, or does a season of Dancing With the Stars seem to last as long as an entire NFL season? Found it interesting they hauled out Dan Marino for the video pep-talk last night. The reason is that (sad truth) none of Jason Taylor's current Dolphin teammates -- not a single one -- is a big-enough star or sufficiently recognizable nationally to pull that off. Bill Parcells is, but Tuna recently was voted "Least Likely to Say Anything Nice About a Player Doing the Fox-Trot."
It's why the Internet was invented: Sexually explicit photos of French Olympic swimmer Laure Manaudou apparently have surfaced on the Internet in the wake of her breakup with Italian swimmer Luca Marin. I believe Olympic swimming would benefit from more scandals of this nature. Manaudou is pictured here being sexy during a meet, but not too sexy (barely) for a newspaper blog!
The new Mike Tyson?: His handlers are trying to makover Tyson's image. Good luck to them. Click here for today's column by me on this doomed transmogrification.
Martial artist departist: Cuban judo star competing in the Miami defects. Gee, now that was totally unexpected!
Mayo on the (unseemly) side: Basketball star O.J. Mayo took received cash via an agent while in high-school and at USC? Geez, will the shocking news never end!?
Goodell inserts head in sand: NFL commish Roger Goodell met three-plus hours this morning with Matt Walsh and then declared Spygate dead. Man, the stunners just keep on comin' don't they?
Countdown 5 Days: Finally, a reminder that this coming Monday May 19 I take over the paper's weekly sports columnist chat in the Q&A Forum, accepting the metaphoric baton from the sabbatical-ing Le Batard. It'll be live from 1-2 p.m. every Monday. Tap in. It beats working.
Curt Gowdy passed away today in Palm Beach at age 86. His was the first voice I associated with Major League Baseball, alongside Tony Kubek. "There goes the no-hitter!" was a Gowdy catch-phrase I recall him saying whenever the first hit was given up. His was a broadcasting career of great and varied accomplishment.
Defining roles in the new MNF lineup of talking heads, left to right:
Mike Tirico: The traffic cop. The affable moderator. The guy in the middle who tries his best to remind viewers there's a football game going on.
Joe Theismann: Sports' greatest blowhard, a man enchanted by the sound of his own voice and broadcasting as if paid by the word, six-time Emmy winner in the category, Windbag.
Tony Kornheiser: Respected as a Washington Post columnist prior to being famous as an ESPN "Pardon the Interuption" co-host, he'll be terrific, and a raging success if only as the guy unofficially assigned to throw occasional flags at Theismann's pontificating.
Midnight approaching, I find myself watching on television as former big league pitcher Rob Dibble attempts to throw a baseball into a distant watermelon and explode it. He has five tries. He misses each, not coming close.
I am not sure who should be found more pathetic: Dibble, for his bizarre, failed public display. Or me, as a reluctant but nevertheless willing witness to it.
