On Heat's first-round playoff series, team MVP (with polls); plus Mayor Luther Campbell, Barry Bonds, heavy girls & more

[Twitter.com/gregcote. I'm the Eddie House of journalism. Just when you think I'm lousy, I surprise you and do something good].

Heat-Sixers Game 1 blog will publish here in a separate post beginning at 2 p.m. sharp!

HEAT GOT BEST-POSSIBLE FIRST-ROUND MATCHUP: I've been listening to misguided fans and greedy media griping how they wish Miami was playing the Knicks in the NBA playoffs' first round instead of the 76ers. Baloney. From a media view at least it's arguable, I guess. We want drama wherever we can find it. (Although this whole season has been that, so what's wrong with a little break?) But from a fan view, don't you want an easier series? Maybe a sweep? Less stress? More rest before round two? That's why you play 82 games. Duh. That's the point of a higher seed. And that's Philly. Players say automatically who they play doesn't matter, but I guarantee you a nice calm, dull four or five-game rout of Philly is preferred to the wilder ride a Knicks series might have been. Then again I'm occasionally wrong. Tell me if I am or not. Take a dip in our poll. (Team MVP poll below this one...).

LEBRON WINS KING-O-METER. NOW YOU NAME THE MVP: Here are final season results for our unpopular King-O-Meter, measuring which of Miami's would-be kings has had the better season based on a cumulative system using 10 statistical categories. I say unpopular because many e-mailers think it's divisive. Anyway, LeBron James wins our 2010-11 Heat King title over Dwyane Wade by 4,804.88 points to 4,174.00. (Wade missed six games to James' three, not enough to have bridged the difference). James led in games led, 43-38, including the last nine straight. (Total adds to 81 because both missed the finale). In 70-plus-point games, sort of a standard for extra good, James led, 17-13. Season high for either was James' 107.24 in Game 49 at Orlando. Wade's best was 92.10 in Game 72 vs. Philadelphia. So I say James was the regular-season team MVP. Do you? Vote.    

BOO, STEIGERWALD! YOU ARE RATIONALIZING A HEINOUS CRIME: John Steigerwald, a columnist for a small suburban Pittsburgh newspaper, has caused a firestorm by suggesting that Bryan Stow -- the Giants fan who got severely beaten after the Dodgers' opener in L.A. and remains in critical condition -- brought it on himself by wearing a Giants jersey to the game. Read the column here if you have the stomach. It is wrong on so many levels. The logic is about the same as blaming a rape victim because she wore a short skirt.

KEVIN NA'S MELTDOWN: Kevin Na (right) shot a 16 on a par 4 at yesterday's Texas Open, the worst par 4 score in PGA Tour history. Click here to watch the video. John Daly maintains the all-time worst hole on record, an 18 on a par 5 in 1998. It is unfathomable to me that any professional golfer has had a worse hole than I ever had, because I stink and do mental cartwheels and handsprings when lucking the occasional par.

SUMMARY OF BARRY BONDS TRIAL: Three years and millions of wasted dollars for a jury to dumbfoundingly conclude that Barry Bonds somehow obstructed justice without lying. That's quite a trick. Among Bonds, the prosecuting attorney and the jurors, there isn't a single soul in this mess who should be feeling proud or the least bit pleased right now.  

AMERICAN IDOL AND FAT GIRLS: Oops I know "fat girls" is prejorative. My bad. Seam-stretching? Metabolistically challenged? Ashley Kauffman, 19, pictured, is making the rounds (Good Morning America earlier today) talking about how she was separated from her friends in the American Idol audience and told she was too heavy to sit in the front row. OMG! WWST!? (What Would [Ruben] Studdard Think). Idol denies this happened. Of course, anyone who has watched the show and how it packages pretty should believe the girl. Dear American Idol: This poor girl is barely heavy at all. Please restrict your blatant weight discrimination to the morbidly obese like the rest of us do.

MAYOR LUTHER "UNCLE LUKE" CAMPBELL?: Is it OK to admit the thought both terrifies and intrigues me? I see it as a possibility, especially with 11 people running post-recall for Miami-Dade mayor, when 15-18 percent of the vote might be enough and name-recognition will matter. Bottom line? It's nuts. Nuts! We'd be a national laughingstock. It would further cement Miami's well-earned reputation as an insane asylum politically. And yet, politically, is the election progression from actors to pro wrestlers to rappers really that outlandish? I think Luke has an outside shot. Seriously. And I like that if only because it delivers the [bleep]in' motherlode to colleagues Carl Hiassen and Leonard Pitts.

Click back. Will be adding more stuff to this latest blogpost later...

THE LIST: HEAT PLAYOFF OPPONENTS: Miami's first-round series vs. Philadelphia starting Saturday will be the Heat's first playoff meeting with the 76ers. Miami's top five most common playoff opponents:

Opponent   Playoff Games   (Series; Most Recent)

New York   24   (4; 2000)

Chicago   21   (4; 2007)

Detroit   16   (3; 2006)

Atlanta   12   (2; 2009)

New Jersey   9   (2; 2006)

Others, all 1 series: New Orleans 7 games; Dallas 6; Indiana 6; Boston 5; Orlando 5; Washington 4; Charlotte 3.