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Beer for the economy, Pfund, cheating Billy the Marlin, mouth of Ricky, Elly May Clampett and more

  Aaa1beer A brand new pile of miscellania for your consideration...

     Help solve the economic crisis. Drink beer: If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49 left today. With Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left. But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, consumed all of the beer, then turned in the cans for an aluminum recycling refund, you would have $214 like this guy.

Aaa1ozzie     Octoberfest: Baseball playoffs begin Wednesday after White Sox beat Twins tonight 1-0 in a playoff for the eighth and last spot. I rooted for the Twins, solely because Chisox manager Ozzie Guillen (right) seems like sort of a gasbag idiot. Check this blog tomorrow morning for a poll on who you hope wins the World Series.

     Aaa1pfundPfund escapes the gargantuan shadow: The abrupt resignation of Heat GM Randy Pfund (pictured) was unexpected but not real surprising. How much pfun fun can it be to serve in that role under an omnipotent team president (Pat Riley) who possesses complete control over all personnel decisions? Pfund leaves amicably, but the fact he leaves in search of another NBA job tells you he finally grew tired of Riley's immense shadow and wants to be where he'll have more say. Can't blame him.

Aaa1billy_2     Mascot Hall of Fame screws Billy the Marlin: The three newly announced 2008 inductees into the Mascot Hall of Fame (yes there is such a thing; click here) are Rocky (Denver Nuggets), Slider (Cleveland Indians) and Smokey (University of Tennessee). However Random Evidence has learned that another nominee, Billy the Marlin, was snubbed by selectors despite leading all pro-team nominees in online fan voting. An outrage! UM's Sebastian the Ibis also was nominated and denied entry but did not lead in fan votes. Billy is pictured here, appearing to smile but weeping inside.

Aaa1ellymay      Dear Greg, Your blog is OK, but...: "...it would be much better if at some point you would show a picture of actress Donna Douglas -- Elly May Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies -- today at age 75. Thanks very much."

     If it came down to Uggla or Olsen...: Click here to find today's column by me on the Marlins' planned makeover that will sacrifice home run power for speed and defense. The two most prominent players who might not be back are second baseman Dan Uggla and pitcher Scott Olsen. If the club spends to keep just one, who would you wish it to be? I'd pick Olsen but doubt most fans would. (By the way, Jorge Cantu finished fourth in NL comeback player of the year voting announced today. Cantu got my vote for the Marlins MVP award that went to Hanley Ramirez).

Aaa1barker      Tattoos for Really, Really Old People or the Incredibly Unhip, one in a series:

Aaa1mandarich_2      Well, no bleepin' duh!: Showtime's Inside the NFL will include, in its Wednesday show, a segment in which former offensive tackle Tony Mandarich (pictured), one of the all-time draft busts, reveals he used to use steroids. What a shock! Gee, don't some things sort of go without saying? Which reminds me...

     Ricky admits pot temptation: Dolphin Ricky Williams revealed he still sometimes has the urge to spark some weed. Is that news? I love Ricky's honesty, but wish, for his sake, he'd self-edit a bit more. A guy trying to mend his image and outlive all the pot jokes probably ought to tell a little fib and say he's past all that. Sort of reminds me when President Jimmy Carter once made headlines by admitting he lusts in his heart. Too much information, Jim!

     Giants running back arrested for standing in traffic drunk!: Click here.

     Where's Waldo? Where's Grego?: Many of you, in comments and e-mails, have expressed concern that The Herald's website redesign has made it more difficult to find my blog. You are correct and I'm not too pleased, either. I'm hoping for a remedy; stay tuned. Meantime, if you don't see my ugly mug as one of the two featured blogs on the Sports homepage, simply click on 'all blogs' to find me. I'll keep trying to make it worth the effort.

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