Another mess o' miscellania...
Chad Johnson to Dolphins?: Miamian Chad Johnson (Mr. Ocho Cinco), the disgruntled Bengals receiver, is half-begging, half-demanding that Cincinnati trade him. This is one immensely prolific receiver who would make John Beck immediately better. Click here for his career stats. If I'm Tuna, I'm dialing area code 513 today and offering a second-round pick. How about you? Why or why not?
[Update: Congrats again, voters. The above is our 15th blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes within the first 24 hours, this one blasting past that in just the first four hours. Thanks again. Keep 'em coming].
I'm Old Greg!: Anybody else aware of a semi-cultish Youtube video phenom called "Old Greg"? My two teenage boys delighted to make me aware of it as a prerequisite to poking fun by calling me Old Greg. Click here to sample the exceptionally creepy actual "Old Greg" (pictured). Personally I think this could be a great walk-on intro when Marlins closer Kevin Gregg takes the mound. What better to unsettle a batter? "I'M OLD GRRRREGGGGGGG!" Or, maybe not.
Dan Le Baleave: My newspaper has made official internally what we've known for awhile. Dan Le Batard will be on a one-year leave of absence from the paper beginning May 15, while still doing his radio show. He'll be missed. (Did you catch the Kyle Turley/Robert Smith give and take about NFL retired-player disability payments on his show yesterday? Click here to listen; it's quite lengthy. I have seldom heard a more fascinating debate about something most fans care less about).
American, idling: Last night I was switching back and forth between the Obama-Clinton debate and American Idol. It pains me to admit I'm not sure which was less compelling. That reminds me. Barack Obama has garnered the endorsement of Bruce Springsteen. No matter, though. Hillary Clinton picked up the backing of the NAAP, the National Association for the Advancement of Pantsuits.
The Pope in America: Welcome, Pope!
School's out: Remember how you felt in school when you learned there'd be a substitute teacher? Guessing that's sort like the freedom PGA Tour guys are feeling with Tiger Woods out rehabbing four to six weeks after minor knee surgery. (Speaking of golf, some guy named Immelman beat some guy named Snedeker to win The Masters. Immelman sounds like a guy running a Jewish deli).
Fort Lauderdale Beerbust: Who else attended the Beerfest in downtown Fort Lauderdale this past Saturday? What a ripoff! Admission 25 bucks, for which you got "free beer." The problems? 1) Mostly pedestrian brews. 2) Long lines indicative of too few vendors. 3) Beer served in 3-ounce cups! (Seriously). 4) Started running out of beer by 8:30. I mean, this was sponsored by New Times and pimped endlessly by radio's Paul and Young Ron (pictured). Should have been top-end; instead, an embarrassment. Rule of thumb: Never, ever hand me a 3-ounce plastic cup unless I am under court order to provide a urine sample.
McSmart decision: Congrats to whomever convinced UM's Jack McClinton to return for his senior season rather than enter the NBA Draft. Good for the Canes. Good for Jack's future pro hopes.
Yaz for the ladies: There is a new female contraceptive with the brand name Yaz. Speaking for Carl Yastrzemski fans everywhere, we are officially mortified.
My online Q&A: Finally, a reminder. We'll have a live online Q&A this Friday from 1-2 p.m. That'll be in place of our regular mid-monthly "Ask the Blogmaster General" feature, which will return in May. Questions of every stripe welcome, but with the understanding an uninterupted torrent of questions concerning the Dolphin draft may lead me to reach for a gun or a bottle of Jim Beam, whichever is nearer. [Don't leave your questions here. Do it tomorrow in the appropriate forum, not in this blog. Q's left before 1 p.m. will be answered as time permits, but with priority given to those who are online live at 1].