Another mess o' miscellania...
Question: Who needs a miracle more right now? Hillary Clinton or the Florida Panthers?
[Musical Aside: Anybody a fan of The Raconteurs? Jack White, Brendan Benson and the boys have a new CD out this week. Click here to sample. I may be getting too old for this, but I can't help it!].
NO YEN FOR OPENING IN JAPAN: Bumping this item up since I write about it in today's paper. Two words for MLB opening up its regular season in Japan: It sucks. It's sort of a Dolphins-in-London issue. It's fine for leagues to market themselves globally, but let's confine these grow-the-sport games to exhibitions, not games that count. Click here for my column on that and let us know if you agree or not.
BIG DANCE VS. MAMBO: Man you all are some Dolphincentric people. I run a harmless little March Madness Haiku Contest, and the comments fill with anti-college hoops talk from haiku-hating Dolfans. Expand your horizons, folks. Big world out there! But if you must talk Dolphs to pass the time until the draft, feel free. Rumor out of Jax today is that the Jaguars, evidently impressed by the way he mambos, are interested in Jason "Tutu" Taylor. I say it's more likely he wins Dancing With the Stars.
HEAT IN TITLE CHASE!: OK, it's the Heat Dancers. But still. Bracketed playoffs are underway at NBA.com to name the league's best dance troupe and Miami's is trying to defend its title. Heat Dancers' alumnae include a contestant from ABC's Bachelorette, a Pussycat Doll, a WWE Diva Search winner, a Venus Breeze "Legs of a Goddess" winner, and a Deal or No Deal "suitcase model." So you see, girls, you too can be a Heat Dancer and go on to a career typecast as a hottie! Who knows. Maybe even be in a calendar!
POTTY-MOUTH TIGER: Love the story of how a photog's shutter drove Tiger Woods (pictured at left) to profanity Sunday on the ninth hole at Doral. "Jackass!" said Tiger. "The next time a photographer shoots a f---ing picture, I'm going to break his f---ing neck." Well, that's fair. I figure if a photog can snap, so can Tiger. By the way, it's good Woods didn't win, if only to put to rest the astonishingly ludicrous notion that he might have won every tournament he entered all year.
FUZZY EXCUSE, MARIA: Sony Ericcson tennis is about to commence down on Key Biscayne. Anybody excited? I became less so when I found out Maria Sharapova (shown sitting because she's tired) had withdrawn on account of "fatigue." Jesus on a horse, girl. Buck up! Shoot some Red Bull and get your coddled behind out there!
MAYBIN FORCES MARLINS' HAND: I'd be up on the metaphoric soapbox railing if the Marlins had demoted future-star center fielder Cameron Maybin to Double-A on a close call. But when you don't hit your weight in spring training and you're really skinny, that's a problem. Bet he's up by early summer. Big future as a local favorite, despite the fact his nickname is Cam.
THE BIG MOSH PIT: Bobby Knight said in his new ESPN analyst role that the NCAA Tournament should increase from 65 teams to 128. Seriously. Like we needed another reason to hate Bobby Knight?
BIGGER SLICE OF KIMBO: Now Kimbo Slice and that whole street- fighting, "mixed martial arts" crap gets the imprimatur of legitimacy with an upcoming bout on CBS. Walter Cronkite is so upset he's spinning in his grave and he isn't even dead yet. Keep waiting for Kimbo's 15 minutes to be up, but I keep forgetting our national appetite for embarrassment.
TWO WORDS. SWIMSUIT OPTIONAL: Olympic champion swimmer and summer-'07 Playboy nudie Amanda Beard tells AOL.com (click here for story and shot of Playboy cover) that she'd like competitive swimming to become more "risque." Challenge yourself. Offer an idea for doing that without using the word "breaststroke."
Ciao for now.