A full trough of stuff for a dog-day Wednesday in South Florida...
(*) ESPN is now available on select screens at filling stations. Is that new? Stuart Scott has been giving me gas for years.
(*) ABC News poll finds 75 percent of African-Americans are rooting for Barry Bonds to surpass Hank Aaron but only 28% of whites are. Wasn't the racial divide similar on the O.J. verdict? If faith and forgiveness are divine, my African-American brothers may be saints.
(*) U.S. Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard (left) has agreed to pose in Playboy. Anybody got a problem with that?
(*) How about the acrid haze from those Everglades fires? I haven't been around this much second-hand smoke since the 1970s. Whatever happened to bongs, by the way? Not that I know what they are. But I've heard of them.
(*) Sorry to be mean, but something about Kentucky Derby-winning jockey Calvin Borel, the barely literate Cajun, reminds me of the banjo player in Deliverance. Borel was invited to dine at the White House the other night. It may have been the first time in awhile George W wasn't the dumbest guy in the building.
(*) Need a reminder why the Marlins are fun even around .500? The new Sports Illustrated nominates the 10 best players under 25. Miguel Cabrera is No. 1 and Hanley Ramirez is fourth.
(*) Warren Sapp has lost 49 pounds. Isn't that like the beach losing a pail of sand?
(*) You see the big fight the other night? I don't mean Mayweather over De la Hoya. I mean Tony Parker's forehead beating Steve Nash's nose by a TKO.
(*) Please tell me we aren't headed for a Detroit-San Antonio Finals, by the way. Forget the announcers. That series would require an anesthesiologist.
(*) Weird. I just looked up "quicksand" in the dictionary and saw a picture of Tracy McGrady stuck in the first-round of the playoffs.
(*) Head Gator Billy Donovan might be leading the Memphis Grizzlies today if they'd agreed to give him full control. This should officially pre-empt any future Billy-to-Heat speculation as long as power-holding (and power-deserving) Pat Riley is el prez.
(*) Apparently Michelle Wie is thinking of giving up men. No I mean competing in PGA Tour events.
(*) Miller Park in Milwaukee was giving out free prostate exams the other night. I remember when that team was so bad every night at a Brewers game felt like a prostate exam.
(*) Paris Hilton is going to jail, but it's OK. She's arranged to stay in the Martha Stewart Suite.
(*) Finally: You know what I feel like doing? I feel like taking that dead possum over there and dressing him up in a nice hat!