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43 posts from December 2005

December 21, 2005

Take the money and run, Johnny Devil

Damon Damon2_1      Johnny Damon, pictured far left as he'll look now, only in a different hat, has become the latest once-heroic athlete to forget loyalties and grub money. He had a chance to be one of the great folk heroes in Red Sox history. Now he's just another George Steinbrenner pawn who deserves all the booing and vilification he'll receive.

     Pictured beside Damon is the player's spiritual great-grandpappy, Benedict Arnold.

     By the way, I saw a company truck today for an air-conditioning outfit named "Air Around the Clock." And on this official company truck were a couple of large, prominent Yankees magnet decals. Are you serious? Get out of my driveway, OK? I'll find another company, thanks.

     I like a semblance of nuetrality in my hired help. No political bumper stickers on company cars, thank you. If I'm pro-choice I don't want my air-conditioning truck to be touting an "abortion kills" bumper sticker, and a bunch of Yankees decals can have about the same effect.

The Singing Sportswriter returns!

Notes     Stumped for a last-minute Christmas gift for that special someone you don't really care for? Simply download the "The Singing Sportswriter's Greatest Bits" onto a CD and present it as the smallest possible token of your esteem.

     The dozen songs below have been judged by experts to be more pleasing than a bunch of old women caroling "Holy Night" in front of your house and nearly as pleasing as a drunk Japanese man abusing "Louie Louie" in a karaoke bar.

     Click on song to listen:        

Feeley (Nothing More than Feeley)
Row, Row, Row Your Beat
Bowl Games Keep Falling on My Head
My Way (Wannstedt's Song)
Jose, Can You See?
Help! FAU Needed Somebody
Las Vegas
Bye, Bye, Shaq's American Thigh
Old Mark McGwire Had a Plot
Oh the Shaq Babe
The Pretenders
God Bless Our Danica

December 20, 2005

Word association: "South Florida sports..."

     An interesting discussion we heard today on sister station 790 The Ticket has been unabashedly stolen here.

     What do you think of first when you think "South Florida sports?" Put another way, survey people elsewhere in the country and what would they say?

     We'll confine it to team sports and present the four logical choices and ask: What are we most known for?

Dolphins history: 1972 Perfect Season/Shula-Marino
Heat today: Shaquille O'Neal-Dwyane Wade
Hurricane football good and bad: championships, controversy
Marlins good and bad: Two titles, two breakups.
Dan1 Dan3 Dan4 Dan2

Funny headline of the day

Pat_1      RILEY HOPES FOR A QUIET HOMECOMING. That was the lead headline in today's Herald sports section.

     (Oops. I mean today's Miami Herald sports section. My newspaper is undergoing a "rebranding" that reemphasizes the M-word. Rebranding. Hmm. Has that corporate-speak feel. Sort of like the Marlins' payroll "market correction.")

     Where was I? Oh yeah. Old/new Heat coach Riley wants a quiet homecoming tonight in the Miami bow of Pat The Sequel following a four-game road trip since the coaching change. Good luck, Pat. Too bad owner Micky Arison didn't know Pat wanted to low-key it (shhh), or else he might not have sent those notes to season-ticket holders exhorting a record-sized crowd to "welcome Pat Riley back to the bench."

     On Christmas Day the Heat host the L.A. Lakers. Shaq vs. Kobe! Pat vs. Phil! But let's not make a big deal over that one, either, OK?Santa

     RILEY HOPES FOR A QUIET HOMECOMING. In a similar vein I hear the North Pole Times had a story today headlined, SANTA HOPES FOR A QUIET CHRISTMAS.

December 18, 2005

Dolfans: How important is the past?

Dons_1      Strange Sunday for a Dolphins fan. Miami's franchise distinction as the NFL's only Perfect Season team (in 1972) was preserved when the Colts finally lost. But the 2005 team was eliminated from playoff contention despite a victory over the Jets.

72      So which is more important? Then or now?

      If the Football God told you the current Dolphin team would make the playoffs but only if the Colts finished 19-0 to match the '72 Dolphins' perfection ... would you make that deal?

If you could only choose one, which would you have picked?
1972 Dolphins remaining as only Perfect Season team
2005 Dolphins making the playoffs

Go away, for Pete's sake

Disappear. Join a witness protection program. OK? Prose

December 17, 2005

'Why I Hate Jets Fans'

Jetsfans_1      The lousy New York Jets and their boorish fans sully Dolphins Stadium on Sunday and so it may be the right time to wonder: Are these the fans you most wish to see leave a local stadium or arena quietly? Are Jets fans the most disliked of any we see in any sport?

     'Why I Hate Jets Fans.' A starter kit:

     I hate Jets fans because their behavior suggests a superiority complex that is utterly unearned. Dear Guys, your team is 3-10 and won its only Super Bowl after the 1968 season. So please be quiet.

     I hate Jets fans because a typical one is a 48-year-old guy wearing a Gastineau jersey that may have fit him 20 years and 40 pounds ago, but doesn't anymore.

     I hate Jets fans because of that annoying "J-E-T-S!" chant. (Little-known fact: That chant began as a collective, we'll-show-you response to a widely held belief that Jets fans are too dumb to spell).

     I hate Jets fans because...

Le Batard's column

Dan      I don't know that I've ever referred to colleague and friend Dan Le Batard in the blog, but I must make special mention of his column in today's Herald and recommend it as must-read journalism.

     The column is called: "Twenty Questions About Dan Le Batard With David Stern."

We're baa-aack!

     Blog's been down awhile due to maintenance issues with our host company, but we're pretty much restored. Thanks for the patience.

     Photos associated with the most recent few posts should be restored soon if not already. AOL users who click into the blog and still don't see the most recent few posts may wish to press the CTRL key while using the mouse to hit the refresh button.

     We'll use this opportunity to thank all of you who've been along for the ride in the first few months we've been doing this. I especially appreciate you who take the time to hit the Comments button and join in the conversation. I also appreciate those who participate in our polls, like the nearly 3,000 who weighed in on the Van Gundy/Riley issue and the hundreds more who have voted in the Cuban baseball matter. Thanks to all.

December 15, 2005

Let the Cuban team play ball!

Fidel     Cuban-American members of Congress seem small-minded in their efforts to prevent Cuba from participating in next spring's first World Baseball Classic. And Miami politicos joining the outcry, like Rep. Lincoln Diaz-Balart, seem single-minded as usual in their obsession.

     Nobody with their sanity denies Fidel Castro (homo sapien de ratty beard) is an awful dictator. And we're not saying the resulting U.S. economic embargo isn't justified. But exceptions should be made. Efforts to put sports and the arts above politics are noble.

Should Cuba be permitted to play in the World Baseball Classic?