October 24, 2024
September 22, 2024
AND IN SPORTS
Chess Player Suspended After Allegedly Poisoning Her Rival
(Thanks to Janice Gelb)
July 17, 2024
WHEN IT ALL STARTED TO GO WRONG
(Thanks to Chris)
July 04, 2024
LEGAL ISSUE OF THE LAST DECADE SO FAR
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
June 26, 2024
WE PAUSE FOR THIS PUBLIC-SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
You may have already published this because it old. But it is still important.
(Thanks to The Fourth George)
June 21, 2024
GUYS IN CULINARY ACTION
Shooting A Potato At A Tennis Racket to Make French Fries
(Thanks to Mike)
May 20, 2024
FINALLY
THE SCURRY Is A New Horror Movie About Deranged Squirrels
(Thanks to Jimpy)
May 08, 2024
CSI: WISCONSIN
Man named ‘Deez-Nuts’ arrested, charged with battery
(Thanks to Nancy Gill)
November 15, 2023
SO THEY'RE DOWN TO 75
Man sneezes into his trombone during concert
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)
September 18, 2023
MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY
8:45 a.m. A Greek Orthodox Priest stood at an intersection for a while.
(Thanks to Mary Smith)
August 31, 2023
WE SAW H.T.H. OPEN FOR E.L.O.
Hot Testicle Hypothesis May Explain Why Elephants Evolved Anti-Cancer Genes
(Thanks to Rodney Bertelsen)
July 13, 2023
WE APPROVE, BUT WE DON'T WANT ONE
(Thanks to Brad Slager)
June 29, 2023
NOBEL PRIZE ALERT
May 09, 2023
SEND THIS TOWN TO WASHINGTON
Town punishes its politicians by putting them in a cage in a river
(Thanks to Dr. Freeman)
April 10, 2023
IT'S ABOUT TIME SOMEBODY DID SOMETHING ABOUT ALL THESE HEADSTONE-RELATED ACCIDENTS
Headstone safety inspections to be carried out at a Fife cemetery
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
March 01, 2023
HOW DID WE MISS THIS MOVIE?
After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur.
(Thanks to Alkali Bill)
February 15, 2023
MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY
1:28 p.m. A longtime meth user told officers he now has “the powers to vaporize people.”
(Thanks to Mary Smith)
January 10, 2023
A WHAT WAS STOLEN FROM WHERE?
800 kilo ball filled with Swiss gin stolen from bottom of Lake Constance
(Thanks to Alberto)
November 01, 2022
WE CAN ALL SLEEP MORE SOUNDLY
(Thanks to pharmaross)
We saw 50 Wheels Of Undeclared Cheese open for the Partridge Family.
October 09, 2022
NOT CREEPY AT ALL!
People Are Preserving Dead Relatives' Tattoos and Turning Them Into Art
(Thanks to Janice Gelb)
September 04, 2022
JOURNALISM, DUDE
Reporter Accidentally Gets High After Inhaling Fumes From a Burning Pile of Drugs
(Thanks to Rick Day)
August 30, 2022
DUH
May 02, 2022
'THE LOVED ONE LAUNCHER'
Blast Cremation Ashes up to 75 ft into the air.
(Thanks to klezmerphan, who says "When you want to go out with a bang...")
April 13, 2022
UH-OH
Witscript: A System for Generating Improvised Jokes in a Conversation
Witscript employs well-known tools of natural language processing to extract keywords from a topic sentence and, using wordplay, to link those keywords and related words to create a punch line. Then a pretrained neural network language model that has been fine-tuned on a dataset of TV show monologue jokes is used to complete the joke response by filling the gap between the topic sentence and the punch line.
(Thanks to nora, who notes that this is from 2021, but it's important)
November 24, 2021
AUSTRALIA: EVEN THE COWS ARE WEIRD
Cow caught chewing on a large python in outback northern Australia
(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)
(We don't know why the headline says "caught." The cow does not appear to be hiding the fact that it's chewing on a snake.)
October 06, 2021
A GIANT LEAP FOR PERSONS WITH PRIVATES
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
October 05, 2021
UH-OH
Apparently whales can explode spontaneously.
(Thanks to pharmaross)
September 16, 2021
BRILLIANT
Dog invents automatic backscratcher.
(Thanks to man tom)
September 02, 2021
NOBEL PRIZE ALERT
Study shows why beer mats do not fly in a straight line
(Thanks to Markhh)
July 07, 2021
URGENT
How to Avoid Snakes Slithering Up Your Toilet
(Thanks to Bruce)
July 27, 2020
IT'S AN EPIDEMIC
SO *THAT'S* WHERE IT IS
(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "The Smithsonian missed out big time.")
September 07, 2019
WE’RE GONNA NEED MORE NOBEL PRIZES
Legal weed is linked to higher junk-food sales
(Thanks to Andy Mendez)
September 04, 2019
WHAT’S THAT SMELL?
Sidney Crosby Admits He's Been Wearing Same Jock Strap Since High School
(Thanks to pharmaross)
May 07, 2018
IF YOU READ ONLY ONE WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT TODAY
It's difficult to pick a highlight, but consider: "The bride is manager of the SPAM® Museum in Austin, Minn."
(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
May 05, 2018
'BOTH BLACK AND WHITE MAGIC ARE OFFERED'
San Diego warrant seeks Argentinian man in global witchcraft sex extortion scheme
(Thanks to Douglas Frost)
March 16, 2018
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH
Scientists say space aliens could hack our planet
(Thanks to Fabian Marson)
November 30, 2017
DO THESE PEOPLE NEVER WATCH MOVIES?
(Thanks to Jon Harris, who asks "What could go wrong?")
September 26, 2017
'FILTHY PHALLIC FLOTSAM'
September 06, 2017
IRMA PREPAREDNESS
August 07, 2017
WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME
The World Now Has a Scorpion-Milking Robot
(Thanks to Patricia Hall who says "Thank heavens! I was getting a sore back from sitting on that little stool!")
May 04, 2017
FASHION UPDATE
January 09, 2017
FLORIDAAAAAAAAA
Florida man accused of shooting cows with AR-15 from moving car
(Thanks to Ralph)
November 01, 2016
WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE YEAR 2006 SO FAR
Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from presenting this wedding announcement, which is the last one listed here.
(Thanks to The Amazing Steve)
October 20, 2016
REMINDS US OF WHEN WE OWNED A CHEVROLET VEGA
Engine blows up, falls out of truck.
(Thanks to Nancy Gill)
June 02, 2016
THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR THOSE THINGS TO BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS
Man uses prosthetic arm to assault officer in Fenton
(Thanks to Jerry Whittle)
May 23, 2016
YIKES
Guy finds giant scary worm with 17 million legs in his fish tank.
(Thanks to Jon Harris)
March 09, 2016
YIKES
September 07, 2015
HARD TO ARGUE
Guitar Solo Faces Make A Lot More Sense When Guitars Are Replaced With Giant Slugs
(Thanks to Janice Gelb)