Dave Barry's Blog

TO JUDGE FROM THE PHOTO, ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE IT IS 'SAGGY'

What's it like on a boat with 2,000 people not wearing clothes?

NSFW

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, who says "A. Disgusting.")

GATHER ROUND, YOUNG PEOPLE

Today's History Lesson: Baking in the 80s.

(Thanks to ScottMGS)

NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART

Guess which one of us blogpersons said, "I'm not blogging this."?

(Thanks to DaninTustin, who has so far not offered to model it for the blogladies)

ATTENTION: MEN OF THE BLOG

Do not even bother complaining about this being posted, 'cause the women of the blog will shout you down.

(Thanks to Matt Filar and also thanks to The Blog who refused to post it but nevertheless forwarded it to the s.b. because he knows wha... well, let's just leave it at "thanks.")

MEN OF THE BLOG

Rise and shine!

(Thanks to Nancy Coan)

SPEAKING OF PANTS...

Who needs 'em?

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT MEDICAL UPDATE ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT, WE'RE PRETTY SURE

(This, for example, was caught by the aforementioned spam filter. And it would have been a tragedy to miss it. Many thanks to davcat for being concerned about the health of the bloglits.)

AHEM - FOR THE LADIES OF THE BLOG

We are speechless.

(Note the warning.)

CHRISTMAS IS COMING

...and The Blog is away. So the experienced among you already know if you want to click this link.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WHILE THE CAT'S AWAY

The mice will play.

(Thanks to marfie)

WINTER SPORTS UPDATE

We regret that we cannot bring you today's Winter Sports Update.

CONTENT WARNING: Bosoms.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WORLD CUP ACTION

Come to think of it, it's probably not technically the World Cup. But it is futbol. We think. Maybe we should watch it again to make sure.

(Thanks to the s.b.'s very good friend, Susan Moss)

NOTE: We haven't used the "WARNING" category in a long time, but we dusted it off for this video.

WE GOTTA GET A DIFFERENT JOB

This never happens at the Herald.

(Thanks to billinbossier)

PSSST, BLOGLADIES

Here you go.

(Heartfelt thanks to nursecindy)

WE HAVE A STRICT POLICY AGAINST POSTING BLATANT ADVERTISEMENTS

But we have an even stricter policy of always blogging semi-naked men if we can get away with it, which we think we can, at the moment, because The Blog is on a plane.

(THANK YOU to Ginger B.)

THIS JUST IN

There's definitely a cat up my tree, or something.

  

MOVE OVER, SUSAN BOYLE

You're blocking the view.

(Thanks to Dr. Doug)

A STORY YOU WILL NEVER SEE POSTED ON THIS BLOG

Unless The Blog is at an event and we are fairly certain he will not notice it when he gets back.

(Thanks to DavCat)

NTTAWWT

(Thanks - umm, yeah! - to nursecindy)

SPEAKING OF BARBIE

One of the ladies in my online book club (where we were discussing the junk that is in our basements) said she had Earring Magic Ken in hers.

Key quote since The Blog is out of town: "On closer inspection, Ken's entire Earring Magic outfit looks like three-year old rave wear. A Gaultier purple faux-leather vest, a straight-out-of-International-Male purple mesh shirt, black jeans and shoes."

(Thanks to Poe, since the Ladies of the Blog are failing miserably in their submission of dodgy sites)

GOLF

Apparently not as boring as we thought.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias and Bill Hudgins)

(NOTE TO MEN: Be aware of the category)

IT IS ONLY BECAUSE OF THIS BLOG'S LONGTIME PROFESSIONAL INTEREST IN FIGURE SKATING

...that we are linking to this.

WARNING: Not safe for people who do not wish their screen to display a bosom.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who gives her a 9.5)

IT'S ALMOST 2009

We'd better get our calendars!

(Thanks to Annie Where-but-here)

IT'S AN OUTRAGE

Not so much the issue as the cropping of the protest photo.

(Thanks to Baron vonKlyff and RussellMc)

URGENT BUT NOT SAFE FOR WORK UPDATE: Say what you want about the French, but they do not crop.

(Thanks to Danny)

THIS JUST IN

(Thanks to Erik Olson)

ADVISORY: Opening this link will expose you to exposure.

Related item here.

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY...

We'll take a break from the usual stealth-bloggerette fare and offer you, if you have half an hour or so to spare, The Entire Reason The Internet Exists.

(Thanks to Amy Drees for the first link, and big freaking thanks a lot to all the people who already saw the other one and did NOT send it to us.)

IN CHARGE, EH?

Well, you know what this link ¹ features.

¹Sports.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE'RE GUESSING HE'S SINGLE

Whatever you do, do NOT click here.

Really. This is not safe for work, or anywhere else.

(Thanks to Chaz Schlueter)

p.s. Really.

ATTENTION, MEN

Don't even bother. Ladies, this one's for you.

(Thanks to Ginger in Las Vegas)

What? The Blog is not out of town? And soon there will be a loud and angry firing of a certain stealth bloggerette??

Hmmmm...

Yeah, It's worth it.

GUYS

Japanese guys.

Japanese guys on tv.

What more can we say.

Except this: Heed the warning.

(Thanks to Todd McLaren)

PLUCK AND DETERMINATION

"I honestly don't know how you will find the strength to go on."

We'll do our best, sir.

FRANCE

Home of The Really Fine Idea

(Thanks to DavCat, who points out they have a video and a website

ATTENTION, LADIES LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT GIFT FOR YOUR HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND

Be sure to check all the ads thoroughly before you buy.

(Thanks to Siouxie)

ATTENTION: MEN, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO SHOULD NOT BE LOOKING AT NAKEDIDITY

Do not click this link.

(Women: Happy Halloween from DavCat and the s.b.)

(UPDATE: And make sure you make your next hotel reservation at Travelodge.)

(Thanks to Ginger B.)

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY...

Just following orders.

(Thanks to sthnbelle)

HOW'S IDAHO, SIR?

We here in Miami have solved many problems and are ready for a relaxing afternoon at the beach.

LADIES: FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

While The Blog's away, we can concentrate on... um... art appreciation. Yeah, that's the ticket.

(Thanks from annette gaudreau)

DON'T LOSE HEART, LADIES

The day's not over yet.

(In case anyone is unclear on the concept, Dave did not post this. He's away. Note the warning.)

WHY WE NEED CAMERA PHONES

Reason number 739.

(Thanks to DavCat)

ATTENTION, MEN (INCLUDING THE BLOG)

Don't bother clicking this link.

(Thanks to DavCat)

SOMETHING FOR A RAINY DAY

Hi Judi!

I am such a fan of Dave's blog and certainly appreciate all of your "special" posts for us ladies whenever he's gone.  I was doing legitimate research on the internet the other day when I came across this site, and thought I should pass it along:

http://www.allamericanguys.com/

It might come in handy in the future.

-Liz in the City

DON'T WORRY, SIR

While you're away, the s.b. is hard at work taking care of business on the job.

(NOTE the warning, men!)

(Thanks to Clean Hands)

TIS THE SEASON

...to buy a new calendar.¹

¹...while The Blog's away.

THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS SITUATION

And there aren't even any pictures, so we definitely aren't going to blog this.

(Thanks anyway to John Regan)

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY...

We'd better get busy looking at semi-naked men ordering our calendars. You never can tell when you'll need one. Get "your's" now!

MESSAGE TO THE BLOG

Sir --

Thank you for going out of town. We are happy to be able to blog this item while you are away. Do not click the link, please, sir. You are already using fruity shampoo.

In grateful appreciation --

All the ladies of the blog

(Thanks to annette gaudreau)

WE ARE NOT SURE WHAT THIS STORY IS ABOUT

But we have to blog pictures like this when the blog is away.

(Thanks to Wyo)

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY

There's still time to blog about Speedos. Err... Speedos. Aaaargh... SPEEDOS.

(Thanks to K. Colber)

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY...

We ladies love to have our productivity¹ enhanced.

(Thanks to Qween Puler)

¹(if you catch our drift.)

FOR THAT SPECIAL FATHER'S DAY MEAL

Don't go in the freezer.

(Thanks to Mike Antonucci, who is lucky we didn't click this link any closer to lunch.)