July 02, 2020

THURSDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

Today we were listening to the Seventies station on our car radio, and we heard Mac Davis sing these lyrics:

Girl, you're a hot-blooded woman-child
And it's warm where you're touching me
But I can tell by your trembling smile
You're seein' way too much in me

We don't really have a point here, except to note that for a while there Mac Davis was VERY popular.

Posted by Dave on July 2, 2020 at 05:03 PM
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'IF YOU'RE WEARING A FACE MASK, ARE YOU REALLY NUDE?'

You Can Leave Your Mask On: Nudists Wear Just One Item in Covid Times

(Thanks to Steve K.)

Posted by Dave on July 2, 2020 at 02:51 PM
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IMAGINE WHAT IT POOPS

Fastest-growing black hole in the universe eats the equivalent of one sun per day

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on July 2, 2020 at 12:51 PM
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OUR HAT IS OFF TO THEM

Fish eggs can hatch after being eaten and pooped out by ducks

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

Posted by Dave on July 2, 2020 at 12:50 PM
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YOU KNOW WHO ORDERED THIS SWARM

A nuclear reactor along Lake Erie in Monroe County lost offsite power Wednesday night due to a swarming mayflies.

(Thanks to Geoff Scott)

Posted by Dave on July 2, 2020 at 12:48 PM
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BOLO

A 'monster' star 2 million times brighter than the sun disappears without a trace

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on July 2, 2020 at 12:28 PM
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THEY WERE RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING ETC.

Runaway pigs wreak havoc on Interstate 95

(Thanks to Dave N)

Posted by Dave on July 2, 2020 at 12:23 PM
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WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE CLASH

'Hyper-aggressive' cannibal rats swim into homes up toilets to find food in lockdown

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

Posted by Dave on July 2, 2020 at 10:10 AM
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AHOY, DUDES!

Navy to sailors: Please stop buying LSD online

(Thanks to Rod Nunley, who says "Join the navy and see the world spinning 'round.")

Posted by Dave on July 2, 2020 at 10:05 AM
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'DOESN'T GET MUCH MORE CANADIAN THAN THIS'

A man wrestling a beaver in the middle of traffic with a hockey stick.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on July 2, 2020 at 09:48 AM
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July 01, 2020

WEDNESDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

Happy July, everyone.

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 05:03 PM
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WE'RE WITH THEM

POTATO COD DESTROY ROBOTIC SQUID SENT TO SPY ON DOLPHINS

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 02:42 PM
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BECAUSE THE USA ALREADY HAD DIBS ON 'YOU KNOW'

Why Do Canadians Say ‘Eh’?

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 02:38 PM
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ONE OF THE MOST FUN THINGS ABOUT OWNING A BOAT

...is backing up the trailer.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

In Miami, people set up lawn chairs at the boat ramps just to watch the show.

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 12:05 PM
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BORRRRN FREE....

Wisconsin family helps bear swimming with a plastic cheese ball tub on its head

(Thanks to Dave N.)

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 11:49 AM
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WHEW

...a senior county administrator said Tuesday that lap dances do in fact remain available and legal during Miami-Dade’s four-month coronavirus emergency.

(Thanks to Chris)

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 11:46 AM
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SEEMS TO US IT'S WORKING JUST FINE

Facial Recognition Platform Misidentified Over 100 Politicians As Criminals

(Thanks to Ryan Jentzsch)

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 11:42 AM
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POTSDAM TACKLES THE ISSUES

Potsdam public hearing flush with comments for and against toilet gardens

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 11:39 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

AS IF YOU NEEDED ANOTHER REASON TO STAY THE HELL OUT OF THE OCEAN

Giant whale sharks have teeth on their eyeballs, study find

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 11:36 AM
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HOME OWNERSHIP:

It's not for the faint of heart.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 11:31 AM
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YOU KNOW WHO DEVELOPED THIS PLAN

Beavers gnawing away at the Arctic permafrost

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 10:00 AM
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BEFORE COMPUTERS, THIS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE

Canadian Tire stores forced to close after every item scans in as Mr. Potato Head

(Thanks to Janice Gelb and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on July 1, 2020 at 09:58 AM
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June 30, 2020

TUESDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

We'll keep these threads going for a while, because some people seem to like them. We were getting tired of coming up with themes,  because that was starting to feel like work, and we are morally opposed to work. So unless a theme randomly occurs to us, we'll just have open threads. At least for a while. Or not. That is our commitment to you.  

Posted by Dave on June 30, 2020 at 05:03 PM
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AND IN GOLF

"Did somebody step on a duck?"

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on June 30, 2020 at 02:57 PM
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ONE OF THE GREATS

R.I.P., Carl Reiner.

Posted by Dave on June 30, 2020 at 01:09 PM
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JOIN THE CLUB, CICADAS

Invading Cicadas May Turn Into Sex-Crazed Zombies This Summer

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on June 30, 2020 at 12:24 PM
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O THE HUMANITY

Unsold Guinness beer used to fertilize Christmas trees during the lockdown

(Thanks to Maryann)

Posted by Dave on June 30, 2020 at 12:13 PM
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BECAUSE IT *WAS* AN EMERGENCY

Fisherman steals a King Salmon fire truck, drives to bar with emergency lights on

(Thanks to Jane Linderman, John Lobert, Mark Buckley, Stever and Roberto)

Posted by Dave on June 30, 2020 at 12:07 PM
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BETTER THAT THAN INSIDE

People are defecating outside the Queen's vacation home

(Thanks to Doug Shedd, Unholy Slacker and The Perts)

Posted by Dave on June 30, 2020 at 12:04 PM
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'FORMER PERSONAL TRAINER'

The mystery of the San Fernando Valley orgasm whisperer

(Thanks to Roberto)

Posted by Dave on June 30, 2020 at 11:59 AM
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YIKES

Photos of ‘human-sized’ bat from Philippines blow up the Internet

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on June 30, 2020 at 11:30 AM
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'A SAD DAY FOR AMERICA'

People React To Chuck E. Cheese Parent Company Filing For Bankruptcy

Posted by Dave on June 30, 2020 at 11:14 AM
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June 29, 2020

MONDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

Post ‘em if you got ‘em.

We’re thinking about discontinuing the open threads. Does anybody feel strongly about this?

Posted by Dave on June 29, 2020 at 05:59 PM
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BECAUSE GUYS CREATED THEM

Why So Many Medieval Manuscripts Depict Butt Trumpets?

(Thanks to Godot51 and John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on June 29, 2020 at 11:28 AM
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DIDN'T SPRINGSTEEN RECORD 'EMU ON THE LAM?'

Brimfield officers capture emu on the lam, wrap it into bird ‘burrito’

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on June 29, 2020 at 11:27 AM
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THEY ALSO OF COURSE GAVE IT A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Scientists discover spider wearing 'Joker' makeup, name it after Joaquin Phoenix

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on June 29, 2020 at 11:15 AM
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BUT THEY'RE A GREAT OPENING ACT

Yawning Hamsters Look Terrifying

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on June 29, 2020 at 11:09 AM
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HE TOTALLY HAS OUR VOTE

Tokyo gubernatorial candidate strips naked in televised campaign speech

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and Asher Scheiner)

Posted by Dave on June 29, 2020 at 11:03 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

HELLO ROTO-ROOTER?

Decomposed leopard carcass found in Agra school toilet

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

Posted by Dave on June 29, 2020 at 11:00 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

June 28, 2020

AS THIS BLOG HAS BEEN SAYING FOR DECADES

From Ketchup to Pineapples: The Food That Should Never Be Kept in a Fridge

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)

Posted by Dave on June 28, 2020 at 11:49 AM
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GET THEM OUT OF CIVILIAN HANDS

Man charged after throwing doughnuts at officer

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on June 28, 2020 at 11:46 AM
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FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

UK sewage plants fear deluge of stale beer

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on June 28, 2020 at 11:44 AM
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MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

8:05 p.m. The golfer on the sixth green at a local course turned out to be a black bear.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

Posted by Dave on June 28, 2020 at 11:42 AM
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'THE MAN ASKED THE FLIGHT INSTRUCTOR HOW HE COULD FLY A PLANE'

Florida man carrying nearly 500 grams of weed tries to steal plane to meet girlfriend

(Thanks to Andrew MacIntyre)

Posted by Dave on June 28, 2020 at 06:55 AM
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June 27, 2020

SATURDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

Our theme tonight is: Things people say that don't seem to actually mean anything.

Consider, for example, the phrase "that being said." We have never understood the point of saying it. Of COURSE whatever you just said has been said. Why do you need to SAY it has been said? That being said, maybe you have some other examples.

Posted by Dave on June 27, 2020 at 04:51 PM
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‘A LARGE FISH GOING ABOUT ITS DAILY BUSINESS STARTLED THE INDIVIDUAL’

A violent male who entered the water at Thorness earlier this morning (Friday) was eventually detained by Police after he was scared out of the sea by a large fish.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on June 27, 2020 at 12:13 PM
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SOME OF OUR READERS WILL BE DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED BY THE ACCOMPANYING PHOTOGRAPH

Topless hero Jessica saves family from drowning in Cornwall

(Thanks to Michael Moyer, James Flynn [“We love our first responders”] and Mike)

Posted by Dave on June 27, 2020 at 12:03 PM
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ONLY ONE ANIMAL CAN COMPETE WITH SQUIRRELS FOR THE TITLE OF MOST DEPRAVED

Raccoons.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on June 27, 2020 at 12:00 PM
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FIRST THEY BEAT US INTO SPACE, AND NOW THIS

Russians replace rear wheels on car with metal legs

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on June 27, 2020 at 11:48 AM
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AS TAXPAYERS, WE ARE HAPPY TO OBLIGE

Florida woman calls 911 demanding a ‘taxpayer-sponsored’ ride, gets driven to jail

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says “So win-win, then.”)

Posted by Dave on June 27, 2020 at 11:45 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

 
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