January 17, 2019

WHOEVER COULD HAVE FORESEEN THIS?

Maker of 'fun' toy bomb apologizes, halts sales following complaints

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2019 at 12:45 PM
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THIS BLOG'S RELATIONSHIP IS IN EXCELLENT SHAPE, THEN

How making fun of your partner can make your relationship stronger, science says

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2019 at 12:42 PM
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AUSTRALIAN WOMEN: BRAVER THAN YOU

A beer drinker was surprisingly nonplussed after a massive spider made its way onto their glass and then across their hand.

(Thanks to Mac Turl)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2019 at 12:41 PM
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FLORIDA LICENSES ARE ON THE WAY

Women caught twerking on the hood of a moving SUV

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2019 at 12:38 PM
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THEY WERE HEADED TO FLORIDA (REALLY)

Two men fail to disguise 160 pounds of marijuana with air freshener in luggage at Nashville Airport

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2019 at 12:34 PM
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GUESS THE STATE

...someone said a man wearing only shoes and underwear, was rolling around the parking lot in an office chair.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2019 at 12:24 PM
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SECURITY 'NOTICED A BULGE'

Israel-bound flier caught at Berlin airport with boa constrictor in his pants

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2019 at 12:22 PM
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ADVISORY:

Stay out of the Pacific Ocean.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2019 at 12:20 PM
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January 16, 2019

HO HUM

Deadly snake spotted devouring huge lizard on Australian beach

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "In other news, water is wet.")

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2019 at 12:37 PM
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THAT'S HIS STORY, ANYWAY

Guy on Ambien accidentally proposes to girlfriend, wakes up and doesn't remember any of it

(Thanks to Wolverine, who says "This definitely belongs on the warning label.")

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2019 at 12:32 PM
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IT'S FLORIDA, SO THIS SHOULD BE COVERED BY THE WARRANTY

Miami Gardens man finds boa constrictor in car’s engine

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2019 at 12:30 PM
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YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY

Woman is caught with 24 GERBILS strapped to her legs under her skirt at a Taiwanese customs checkpoint

(Thanks to Mac Turl)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2019 at 12:19 PM
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SEEMS KIND OF... REDUNDANT

Man treated in hospital after injecting himself with own semen

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2019 at 12:16 PM
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THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

'They come back with big eyes': pétanque rocked by drug allegations

(Thanks to John Dodds, who says "Drugs? In Petanque?")

This blog happens to be familiar with petanque, having played it at a high level. (Get it? A "high" level?" Har!)  Another link about this blog's petanque exploits can be found here.

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2019 at 12:09 PM
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'SUPERMODEL KAIA GERBER HAS ALREADY FREQUENTED SKIN CAMP'

First "Facial Workout" Studio Opens in L.A.

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2019 at 11:36 AM
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A FLORIDA TANK LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

Tank said to have rolled across highway as crew dozed inside

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, who says "I think tanks always have the right of way.")

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2019 at 11:26 AM
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WHAT CHOICE DID SHE HAVE?

Florida woman pulls gun at salon after being told to take a 'chill pill'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2019 at 11:20 AM
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SECOND THROUGH SEVENTEENTH PLACES WENT TO WOLVES

Runner crosses marathon distance in Siberia at insane -60°C

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko) 

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2019 at 10:20 AM
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January 15, 2019

NOT FUNNY, BUT FASCINATING

The true story of the Thai cave rescues.

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2019 at 02:48 PM
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GUYS

One in three women told condom was 'too small' to use, research finds

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2019 at 10:35 AM
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SO IT’S SETTLED

Ph.D. Student’s Thesis Presents “Scientific Evidence” The Earth Is Flat

(Thanks to Laurie Ann-Farr Cavanaugh Bobskill)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2019 at 10:30 AM
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APPARENTLY JESUS HAS A FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE

Man said Jesus told him to drive Ferrari off Palm Beach dock

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2019 at 10:25 AM
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TOTALLY REASONABLE

Bride wants bridesmaids to wear contacts so their eyes don't clash with dresses

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2019 at 10:22 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

POLICE WERE HOT ON THE TRAIL

Panties, bras fly from car window during dangerous high-speed chase from Portage to Chesterton, police say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2019 at 10:20 AM
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WE’RE ON OUR WAY

Tanker truck carrying 3,500 gallons of chocolate spills onto Arizona's I-40

(Thanks to funny man, Dave Emery, Al Barkafski, Jane Linderman, Jay Brandeis, pharmaross, Le Petomane and Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2019 at 10:16 AM
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THESE ARE CONSENTING SPIDERS

Australian Reptile Park releases video of funnel web spiders mating

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2019 at 10:13 AM
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January 14, 2019

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

DARPA Wants to Build Conscious Robots Using Insect Brains

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2019 at 12:36 PM
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NO DOUBT EN ROUTE TO MIAMI

Houston police chief writes 140 mph speeding ticket to driver of Dodge Viper

(Thanks to pharmaross and Rod Nunley)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2019 at 12:32 PM
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BRAZIL WEATHER FORECAST

There's a 100 percent chance of spiders.

(Thanks to John Lobert and Kevin Smith)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2019 at 12:27 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

IT WOULD MAKE QUITE A TROPHY

8:01 a.m. Two hunters apparently shot the side of a house multiple times. The hunters said they were on public land and didn’t know there was a house there. The homeowner said it’s his land and, either way, he didn’t want them shooting at his house anymore.

Guess the county.

(Thanks to funny man and Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2019 at 12:24 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

WOOF, DUDE

A drug-sniffing dog working for police in Florida was given anti-overdose medication after ingesting drugs while searching party cruise passengers.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2019 at 12:22 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

511, TO BE EXACT

Australian snake catcher rescues python with 500 ticks

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2019 at 12:19 PM
Permalink | Comments (4)

IT'S ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Corrections officers find stolen Rolex watches in suspect’s vagina

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2019 at 12:14 PM
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JUST SHOOT US

Unicorn armpit hair is now a thing

(Thanks to John Lobert and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2019 at 12:12 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

January 13, 2019

CANADA: ON THE FOREFRONT OF CULINARY INNOVATION

Taco Bell releasing billboard that dispenses real nacho cheese

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2019 at 03:04 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

IMAGINE THE POTPOURRI OF FLAVORS

Florida man chews up seat of police car after cocaine arrest, officials say

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2019 at 03:02 PM
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LIFESTYLES OF ROCK LEGENDS

"The committee may not have been aware that Robbie Williams has been playing loud 70's rock music on outside speakers when he views Jimmy Page outside his home,” he wrote. "What's been most annoying is that Mr. Williams has played rock arch rival bands Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd and Deep Purple. He obviously knows this upsets Mr. Jimmy Page. There have also been some reports that Robbie Williams has dressed up to imitate iconic Led Zeppelin frontman and lead singer Robert Plant.”

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2019 at 02:57 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

SEND HIM TO WASH... NO, WAIT, NEVER MIND

Freshman congressman tries to bring 6-pack onto House floor

(Thanks to Charles Cates, who says "It's not the Supreme Court, buddy.")

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2019 at 02:53 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS LEFT

Woman banned from Walmart after riding cart while drinking wine from Pringles can, police say

(Thanks to wanderer2575, Peter Metrinko, John Lobert, DaninDallas, Dave Kearns and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2019 at 02:39 PM
Permalink | Comments (15)

SURE

Woman’s bizarre illness means she can’t hear men’s voices

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert, who says "My wife says I have the men’s version of this.)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2019 at 02:34 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

January 11, 2019

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Polk firefighters fought chicken feces fire on Highway 60 West

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2019 at 08:46 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

WAIT... THIS IS ILLEGAL?

A man who police say placed a 3-foot alligator on top of another man in Connecticut as part of an extortion attempt has pleaded guilty to reduced charges.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2019 at 08:44 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

YET ANOTHER REASON WHY WE NEED A WALL ON THE CANADIAN BORDER

Nearly 100 chickens were on the loose on the Saanich Peninsula and nobody knows where they came from

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2019 at 08:42 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

OH, *THAT*

A Nashville inmate claimed he "didn't have anything on him" as a bag of pink Fentanyl was hanging from his buttocks.

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes)

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2019 at 08:39 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

FOOLS

Nashville Boat Show returns this week with water skiing squirrel

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says "It's all fun and games until they chew a hole through your hull .")

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2019 at 08:37 AM
Permalink | Comments (3)

IT'S GETTING SO YOU CAN'T PASS OUT ANYWHERE ANY MORE

Waffle House fires workers caught dancing with passed out customer, pouring food on him

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2019 at 08:33 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

WE SAW UNEXPECTED PYTHON OPEN FOR WHITESNAKE

Unexpected python makes a scene at highway toll booth

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2019 at 08:31 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

FLORIDA: STATE OF ROMANCE

St. Pete firefighter arrested for having sex in middle of road, on hood of car

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

This blog is not making fun of any names in this article.

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2019 at 08:28 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

FINALLY

Mystery of woman’s groin revealed in St. Lucie County

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2019 at 08:25 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

January 10, 2019

DAMN TELEMARKETERS

Astronomers intercept mysterious repeating radio signals from space

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says they're saying "Turn... Down... The... Music...")

Posted by Dave on January 10, 2019 at 10:05 AM
Permalink | Comments (18)

 
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