April 16, 2021

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Refrigerator Explodes Inside Fort Worth Family's Home

(Thanks to MOTW)

Posted by Dave on April 16, 2021 at 10:34 AM
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EVERYONE TRY TO REMAIN CALM

Garden gnome shortage strikes due to pandemic and Suez Canal blockage

(Thanks to Jeff from Pittsburgh, Al Barkafski, Ron T and Doug Ogg)

Posted by Dave on April 16, 2021 at 10:32 AM
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WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE CARPENTERS

Bayonne Bridge traffic stopped while cops rescue stranded possums

(Thanks to Art Kraus)

Posted by Dave on April 16, 2021 at 09:19 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

WHAT’S THAT SMELL?

Thousands come together for Dung Throwing Festival in India

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 16, 2021 at 09:17 AM
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NOW THE FISH AND THE BIRDS ARE TAKING ORDERS FROM THE SQUIRRELS

Fish falls from sky, crashes into truck’s windshield in North Carolina, video shows

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

Posted by Dave on April 16, 2021 at 09:09 AM
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April 15, 2021

THE FLORIDA DRIVER'S CREDO:

"Drawbridge, Schmawbridge."

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

Posted by Dave on April 15, 2021 at 04:57 PM
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FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS

Mystery tree beast turns out to be croissant

(Thanks to Roberto)

Posted by Dave on April 15, 2021 at 11:18 AM
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GUYS IN SCIENTIFIC ACTION

Two drunk friends were left with swollen penises after injecting each other with a piles cream they heard could give them extra girth

So it worked!

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on April 15, 2021 at 11:13 AM
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FOR STARTERS, IT HAS A VALID DRIVER'S LICENSE

What to know about the exotic tropical clawed frog in Florida

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on April 15, 2021 at 11:09 AM
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SO WE'RE DOOMED

The New Jersey State Park Police (NJSPP) reported last Friday that their officers had identified and “disarmed” a UFO detecting device found in Wharton State Forest.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 15, 2021 at 11:07 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

TO THE SAME WOMAN

Man Marries 4 Times, Divorces 3 Times in 37 Day to Qualify for Extended Paid Leave

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 15, 2021 at 11:02 AM
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WE NEED A WALL ON THE CANADIAN BORDER

Two Men Went On A Disgusting Poop Rampage At A Tim Hortons In BC

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and pharmaross)

Liberal MP causes consternation in House of Commons after appearing naked on camera in front of colleagues

(Thanks to Roberto, pharmaross, Michael Parry, Doug Ogg and Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on April 15, 2021 at 10:54 AM
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IF THEY SHRINK THEM ENOUGH THEY CAN BE CONGRESSPEOPLE

These Ants Shrink Their Brains for a Chance to Become Queen

(Thanks to Steve K. and Suzie Q Wacvet)

Posted by Dave on April 15, 2021 at 10:53 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

April 14, 2021

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETINNNNNN

Average woman pops 4,153 pimples in her lifetime — and pandemic is making things worse!

(Thanks to ImNotDave)

Posted by Dave on April 14, 2021 at 11:11 AM
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AWKWARD

Twerking dancers overshadow ceremony for Royal Australian Navy’s new warship HMAS Supply

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

Posted by Dave on April 14, 2021 at 10:18 AM
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LET THE ARGUMENTS BEGIN

All US states ranked from best to worst, according to Americans

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on April 14, 2021 at 09:16 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

GUESS THE CONTINENT

Aldi shopper stunned to find live SNAKE in bag of lettuce

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on April 14, 2021 at 09:12 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

MOTHER’S DAY IS ALMOST HERE

Japanese Ballpoint Pen Comes With a Live Parasitic Worm

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 14, 2021 at 09:08 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

MOVE OVER, R2-D2

Make way for the Beerbot.

(Thanks to Dave N, who says “I would name it after my ex-wife.”)

Posted by Dave on April 14, 2021 at 09:01 AM
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NOPE

Creepy 'Eyecam' is shaped just like a human EYE and can see, blink, look around and observe you during video calls

(Thanks to Roberto)

Posted by Dave on April 14, 2021 at 08:57 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE NEWS COULD NOT GET ANY WORSE

There’s a looming shortage of tea bubbles.

(Thanks to Alkali Bill, who asks “Where will it all end?”)

Posted by Dave on April 14, 2021 at 08:55 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

April 13, 2021

YUP

America’s most stressful road is in Miami.

Posted by Dave on April 13, 2021 at 02:24 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

SO THE HORNETS CAN MOVE, BUT NOT *KNOWINGLY*

The agency seeks to impose a quarantine on all live hornets, which would outlaw the sale, distribution or knowing movement of hornets in Washington.

(Thanks to B'game, who says "This will do the trick.")

Posted by Dave on April 13, 2021 at 01:37 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

SO YOU’RE ALREADY DONE WITH THIS WEEK

Humans Only Need To Work Eight Hour Weeks, Study Finds

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on April 13, 2021 at 09:45 AM
Permalink | Comments (15)

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE $82.56, BUT SCHWAB HAD JUST INSTALLED A SOFTWARE ‘ENHANCEMENT’

Louisiana woman refuses to return $1.2M mistakenly deposited into her account

(Thanks to pharmaross and Dave N., who says “I wouldn't have purchased a house and a car.  I would have purchased a one-way plane ticket to a country that does NOT have an extradition treaty with the U.S.”)

Posted by Dave on April 13, 2021 at 09:42 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

CANADA: A NATION IN TURMOIL

Flood-causing beavers must be 'eradicated,' says mayor of Quebec town

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on April 13, 2021 at 09:37 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

YOU CAN’T TRUST YOUR OWN BROTHER

A driver was pulled over at 9 p.m. March 30 and reportedly gave police a false name due to the fact that his license was suspended. However, the name he provided – that of his brother – also returned as having a suspended license.

(Thanks to Stever)

Posted by Dave on April 13, 2021 at 09:35 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

BOLO

'World's biggest rabbit' stolen from owner's garden

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 13, 2021 at 09:25 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

SIRI, SHOW ME SOMETHING SAD

Fancy Feast releases cookbook for humans inspired by new cat food line

(Thanks to DaninDallas, who says “Thanks, but no.”)

Posted by Dave on April 13, 2021 at 09:24 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

EW

Maharashtra Police busts factory stuffing mattresses with used face masks

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on April 13, 2021 at 09:21 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

April 12, 2021

SOUNDS LEGIT

A representative of Dollar General, 3416 Montvale Road, Maryville, reported at 10:24 a.m. April 5 that two women tried to buy several gift cards with a counterfeit $1 million bill. One of the women said she received the $1 million bill in the mail from a church and that she was going to buy items for care packages for homeless people, an incident report states.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on April 12, 2021 at 10:43 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

GUIDANCE FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN

Go ahead, pee in the shower

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on April 12, 2021 at 10:40 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

SERIOUSLY?

Would You Spend $899 for a Kitty Scratcher?

(Thanks to Art Kraus, who says "Pfft, my cat will scratch me for free.")

Posted by Dave on April 12, 2021 at 10:34 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

THAT'S WHERE IT WOULD HAVE ENDED UP ANYWAY

40K pounds of Bud Light beer spills onto Georgia highway

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on April 12, 2021 at 10:32 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

SWELL. NOW PLEASE SHOW US TO OUR FLYING CAR.

Boston Dynamics’ robot dog Spot has been taught to pee beer on command

(Thanks to Dave Emery, who says "Presumably pees Sam Adams.")

Posted by Dave on April 12, 2021 at 10:28 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

NFT Pet Rocks

(Thanks to Katie Holmes)

No, this blog does not really understand what "NFT" means. We just know it's apocalyptic.

Posted by Dave on April 12, 2021 at 10:22 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

THE HEART OF DARKNESS

Scientists go inside the brains and bloodstreams of squirrels

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 12, 2021 at 10:13 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

April 11, 2021

BUT DON'T WORRY: THEY ALL HAVE VALID DRIVERS' LICENSES

Florida is full of invasive species. They’re coming for the rest of us.

(Thanks to Steve K.)

Posted by Dave on April 11, 2021 at 05:13 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

SPREAD THE WORD ON YOUR CB RADIO

It's National Eight Track Tape Day.

(Thanks to pharmaross) 

Posted by Dave on April 11, 2021 at 05:04 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

WE NEED TO SUE SOMEBODY

Tons of Invisible Asteroid and Comet Dust Falls on Us Every Year

(Thanks to Steve K., who says "I could use that to explain my weight gain, except it's not so invisible...")

Posted by Dave on April 11, 2021 at 04:51 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

April 10, 2021

GOOD TO KNOW

Scientists stuck grizzly bears on treadmills and confirmed they hate hills as much as we do

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 10, 2021 at 12:29 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

¿HAY ALGÚN PROBLEMA, OFICIAL?

An investigation has been launched after a man drove the wrong way down a highway in Spain with a dead body in the passenger seat.

(Thanks to Steve K., unkle johno and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on April 10, 2021 at 12:26 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS

There's Now a Tiny Washing Machine to Clean Your Wax-Encrusted Earbuds

(Thanks to Art Kraus)

Posted by Dave on April 10, 2021 at 12:23 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

JUSTICE

Man fined £425 for 'provocatively farting at police officers' in Austria has fine reduced to £85 on appeal

(Thanks to Roberto)

Posted by Dave on April 10, 2021 at 12:21 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

April 09, 2021

GUESS THE CONTINENT

Snake catcher removed a giant python after a couple reported their clogged drain

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on April 9, 2021 at 10:22 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

OOPS

The University of Kentucky mistakenly sent acceptance emails to 500,000 high school seniors for a program that usually accepts about three dozen students a year.

(Thanks to pahrmaross)

Posted by Dave on April 9, 2021 at 10:21 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

WE LIKE THEIR STYLE

No one in small southwest Missouri town voted on Tuesday

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on April 9, 2021 at 10:20 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

ALWAYS A SOUND LEGAL STRATEGY

Kansas Senate majority leader was drunk in police chase, called an officer ‘Donut boy,’ authorities say

Bonus Legal Maneuver: “He looked me up and down stating he played state sports competitively" in high school, Shepley wrote in the affidavit, which was reported by the Topeka Capital-Journal and other local media on Thursday. “He stated he could ‘take me.’”

(Thanks to Alkali Bill and Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on April 9, 2021 at 10:17 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

LET'S PARTY, RHODE-ISLAND STYLE!

Commerce Secretary Stefan Pryor said students will be allowed to dance, but only with members of their “pod.”

(Thanks to Monique)

Posted by Dave on April 9, 2021 at 10:15 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

MANY REASONS

Why Dye Your Hair When You Can Have It Printed?

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on April 9, 2021 at 10:13 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

 
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