August 22, 2019

WHAT, AGAIN?

Fidel Castro's crocodile bites elderly man at party in Sweden

(Thanks to Doug Ogg And Kevin Mark Smith)

Posted by Dave on August 22, 2019 at 06:35 PM
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AND IN SPORTS

MLB warns of stiff penalty as gas station sex pill problem spirals

(Thanks to Allen at Division and Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on August 22, 2019 at 06:32 PM
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SOMEWHERE, SOME VERY UNHAPPY CARTEL GUYS ARE OPENING BANANA BOXES FULL OF ACTUAL BANANAS

Kilos of cocaine found in banana boxes at 3 Washington Safeway stores

(Thanks to Ron G.)

Posted by Dave on August 22, 2019 at 06:31 PM
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YOU ARE NOW FREE TO GO WITH THESE POLICE OFFICERS

Drunken Frontier Airlines passenger punched pilot at Vegas airport, officials say

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

Posted by Dave on August 22, 2019 at 06:23 PM
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ALWAYS A SOUND LEGAL STRATEGY

Woman pulled over for DUI tries to bet cops on how high her blood-alcohol level would be

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on August 22, 2019 at 06:12 PM
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LOOKING FOR A THOUGHTFUL GIFT FOR A SPECIAL GUY?

Here you go.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on August 22, 2019 at 08:33 AM
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COLORADO FORECAST: CLOUDY AND WINDY, WITH A CHANCE OF MATTRESSES

Strong winds in Colorado send dozens of mattresses flying across field

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on August 22, 2019 at 07:55 AM
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WHY THE LONG FACE?

Horse walks into Bourbon Street bar as band plays Old Town Road

(Thanks to  Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on August 22, 2019 at 07:51 AM
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UH-OH

The weird, repeating signals from deep space just tripled

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

Posted by Dave on August 22, 2019 at 07:40 AM
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FLORIDA DRIVERS’, PILOTS’, BOATERS’ AND MEDICAL LICENSES ARE ON THE WAY

Machines on display at World Robot Conference in China can fly, swim and even do brain surgery

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

Posted by Dave on August 22, 2019 at 07:39 AM
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August 21, 2019

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Dan Schaumann posts toilet pics regularly for his thousands of Instagram followers

(Thanks to Michael Moyer)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2019 at 09:00 AM
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YOU HAVE TO DEFEND WHAT’S YOURS

Florida man wildly swings sword at jogger in fight over trash

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Doug Ogg, who asks: “Is ‘trashbuckling’ even a word?”)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2019 at 08:58 AM
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WAIT... WHAT?

A Pasco County man is facing a battery charge after deputies say he threw a cup of urine on an acquaintance because he was angry a drug test came back clean.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2019 at 08:56 AM
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IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING ETC.

Kinkajou barges into Florida woman's apartment, attacks her boyfriend, officials say

(Thanks to Another Ralph, who says “We all know who put him up to it.”)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2019 at 08:54 AM
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BOLO

Moose crashes pool party, steals taco    

(Thanks to Ralph, The Amazing Steve and John Gregg)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2019 at 08:52 AM
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WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR BOWIE

New Zealanders warned about the consumption of 'sexy pavement lichen'

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2019 at 08:51 AM
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THE DIAPER WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE

Driver ticketed after throwing dirty diaper out of car, hitting police cruiser

(Thanks to Susie Q Wacvet and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2019 at 08:49 AM
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August 20, 2019

THIS IS HOW IT STARTS, AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU’RE STEALING SAND FROM SARDINIA

Mother-of-three, 34, who put out recycling rubbish in the wrong colour bags is ARRESTED by police

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 12:19 PM
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WHAT IF EVERYBODY DID IT?

French couple faces prison time for taking 90 pounds of sand from Sardinia

(Thanks to wanderer2575 and Fabian Marson, who says “The death penalty is not good enough.”)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 12:04 PM
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WE MIGHT AS WELL TEAR UP THE CONSTITUTION

Man fights Florida city's citation for landing a helicopter in backyard

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 12:02 PM
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WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

A Florida man had ‘a midnight rendezvous’ at a construction site. Cops want him

(Thanks to Patricia Hall, who says “At least he got out of his mom’s basement for a little while.”)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 12:00 PM
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BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT

NASA preparing for ‘colossal God of Chaos’ rock to arrive in next 10 years

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 11:58 AM
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WE BLAME SOCIAL MEDIA

A New Zealand stick insect that migrated to the UK more than seven decades ago has given up having sex and become asexual, prompting biologists to wonder about the use of sex at all – especially in Britain.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 11:52 AM
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APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Plague-infected prairie dogs cause shutdown of Colorado wildlife refuges

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w, who ask “Didn’t Plague-infected prairie dogs open for Three Dog Night?”)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 11:39 AM
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BEFORE YOU ASK ‘HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?’ GUESS THE STATE

Three car pileup in McDonald's drive-thru

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 11:37 AM
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SEND THIS HAND TO WASHINGTON. OR AT LEAST ONE DIGIT.

Giant hand statue touches down in New Zealand city and the locals are disturbed

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Roberto)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 11:27 AM
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SPICY, DUDE

Nearly 4 tons of weed discovered inside a shipment of jalapeños

(Thanks to Steve K.)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 11:18 AM
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MEANWHILE IN THAILAND

Virat Worasasirin, a Seri Ruam Thai party-list MP, ignited the debate over fecal matter when he chose parliamentary debate as the setting to point out the building’s lack of bidet sprays, which are commonly used instead of toilet paper.

Far be it from this blog to make note of the fact that the story is bylined “Tappanai Boonbandit.”

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 11:17 AM
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BECAUSE EVERYBODY SLEEPS BETTER WRAPPED IN TENTACLES

Strange blanket from Japan promises good night’s sleep with the help of tentacle-like noodles

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 11:14 AM
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NOW WITH ADDED PROTEIN`

A family found a living frog in a carton of organic salad greens.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 10:22 AM
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BUT WITH WHOM?

People Who Use More Emojis Have More Sex and Get More Dates

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2019 at 10:09 AM
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August 19, 2019

WE’VE HAD BEER LIKE THAT

Wisconsin brewery recalls beer due to ‘risk of explosion’

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2019 at 08:14 AM
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TRAITOR

Guy Builds Huge, Incredible Racetracks For Squirrels In His Backyard

(Thanks to Michael Myer)

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2019 at 08:12 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

DAMMIT, CHLOE, THERE’S *NO TIME*

Kiefer Sutherland Seriously Injured in Fall on Tour Bus, Postpones Singing Tour

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert)

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2019 at 08:08 AM
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August 18, 2019

YOU CAN RECOGNIZE THEM BY THEIR VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Dubliners Advised To Be On The Lookout For Drunk Pigeons

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2019 at 12:57 PM
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SIX OF ONE....

Woman thought she had kidney stones, gave birth to triplets

(Thanks to Scott Cramer)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2019 at 12:55 PM
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CRUEL AND UNUSUAL

A New Jersey school district is considering a plan to punish students who owe more than $10 in lunch debt by serving them tuna sandwiches on whole wheat bread.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2019 at 12:53 PM
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WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR PHISH

The surprising merit of giant clam feces

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2019 at 12:51 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

A New Jersey woman is accused of torching a man's house after he invited her over for late-night sex, then fell asleep and did not hear her at his door.

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2019 at 12:49 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

IF THAT DOESN'T WIN HER HEART, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL

Florida man uses front-end loader to dump dirt on car his girlfriend drove, cops say

(Thanks to Barry Nester, Jeff Meyerson, Ranald Adams, DaninDallas and Rod Nunley)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2019 at 12:47 PM
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YOUR POINT?

A couple in Australia and their pet dog were attacked by a giant carnivorous lizard

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2019 at 12:46 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

August 17, 2019

MAYBE HE WAS GLAD TO SEE THEM

A Florida man walked into a fishing store. He left with a ‘large bulge,’ cops say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2019 at 07:01 PM
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OBJECTION, DUDE

A Jacksonville lawyer who insisted his clients could legally grow marijuana, only for them to later face numerous felony charges, must now pay them about $370,000 for his bad legal advice.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2019 at 06:59 PM
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THIS DOES NOT SOUND ROMANTIC

A seaside town is planning to install public toilets that will stop sexual activity by spraying amorous occupants with water and sounding an alarm.

(Thanks to Ron T)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2019 at 06:55 PM
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WE KNOW THE FEELING

Supercapacitors turbocharged by laxatives

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2019 at 06:48 PM
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AND IN SPORTS

Godzilla came to the plate prior to a baseball game in Japan recently.

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert, who says "Rodan is a better fielder.")

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2019 at 06:44 PM
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WE SAW V&DBV OPEN FOR THE RAMONES

Vomiting and defecating black vultures overrun New York couple's $700k Florida vacation home - and leave it smelling like 'a thousand rotting corpses'

(Thanks to Ralph, sysilvola, pharmaross and B'game)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2019 at 06:42 PM
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A TOTALLY WARRANTED REACTION

Officers who responded to the scene last Sunday were told by witnesses the customer "pitched a fit" after not getting his Filet-o-Fish. After leaving the drive thru, the suspect exited his vehicle, grabbed a shopping cart and proceeded to bash it into the side of another person's car.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2019 at 06:40 PM
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SHE DOES NOT LOOK VERY REMORSEFUL

Scorned woman burns NJ man’s house down after he stood her up

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2019 at 06:38 PM
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HE'S READY TO MOVE UP TO D.C.

An Indiana state lawmaker is accused of impersonating a police officer to find cocaine, driving while intoxicated and resisting arrest, according to prosecutors.

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2019 at 12:26 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

 
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