March 24, 2019

THIS IS ALWAYS AN EFFECTIVE DISPUTE-RESOLUTION TACTIC

Angry at gym staff, man drives car through front window, almost striking employee, police say

A combination Florida license/gym membership card is on the way.

(Thanks to Barry Nester and Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on March 24, 2019 at 09:10 AM
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BECAUSE WHAT WE NEED IS SOBER RATS

Scientists Have Cured Alcoholic Rats by Shooting Lasers at Their Brains

(Thanks to John Gregg)

Posted by Dave on March 24, 2019 at 09:01 AM
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APPETIZING!

Japanese Company Sells Jars of Honey Complete with Dead Giant Hornets

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on March 24, 2019 at 08:59 AM
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WE ARE LOSING THIS WAR, PEOPLE

Police: School bus driver was trying to avoid squirrels before crashing into tree and house

(Thanks to Vernon Bowen, DaninDallas, Kevin Smith, A. Wheeler and Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on March 24, 2019 at 08:57 AM
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March 23, 2019

UNTIL NOW THEY HAD TO WRITE

Robots enable bees and fish to talk to each other

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on March 23, 2019 at 02:19 PM
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BUT IF YOU MUST, TAKE THEM OFF FIRST

Levi's CEO: Don't put your jeans in the freezer

(Thanks to Steve K.)

Posted by Dave on March 23, 2019 at 02:07 PM
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AN ISSUE FOR OUR TIMES

MillerCoors sues Bud Light over ongoing corn-syrup controversy

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on March 23, 2019 at 02:04 PM
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WE DIDN'T REALIZE THE COMMUNITY EVEN *HAD* STANDARDS

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Posted by Dave on March 23, 2019 at 01:53 PM
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ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

Man arrested at airport for smuggling drugged orangutan in luggage

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on March 23, 2019 at 01:48 PM
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March 22, 2019

ANYONE FOR A DIP?

Alleged trafficker had 7 sharks in backyard pool in Dutchess County

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on March 22, 2019 at 05:09 PM
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AND THEY ALL HAVE VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Nearly 3,000 piglets on the loose after crash on I-70 in Illinois

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, Not My Usual Alias and Rod Nunley)

Posted by Dave on March 22, 2019 at 05:07 PM
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WELCOME, MONKEY SHOULDER

A distillery announced its giant mixing truck, which looks like a hybrid of a cement mixer and a martini shaker, is going on a tour of Florida.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on March 22, 2019 at 05:05 PM
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SOON IT WILL BE FLYING AS A 'SERVICE ANIMAL'

Texas man brings steer to Petco to test ‘all leashed pets are welcome’ policy

(Thanks to Ralph, Suzie Q Wacvet and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on March 22, 2019 at 09:47 AM
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OTHER THAN THAT THEY WORK GREAT

Chinese customers warned of electric shock risk from toilet seats

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on March 22, 2019 at 09:42 AM
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March 21, 2019

COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

Everybody's doing it: Google Florida Man and your birthday

(Thanks to Howard Cohen)

Posted by judi on March 21, 2019 at 11:30 AM
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GUYS IN ACTION

Man accidentally shoots himself after throwing gun at cockroach to kill it

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:57 AM
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AS IS HIS CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT

A Florida man has been arrested after he allegedly shoved a woman when she wouldn't let him in the house to eat egg rolls.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:51 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

THEY WILL NOT STOP UNTIL HUMANITY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

Squirrel attacks man at his Sarasota County home

(Thanks to pharmaross, Fabian Marson and Emily, Leslie and w)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:48 AM
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WE'LL JUST GRAB A SODA FROM THE MACHINE, THANKS

1 in 5 office mugs contain faecal matter - and it's probably not your own

(Thanks to John Lobert and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:44 AM
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THERE'S PROBABLY A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION

Alleged burglar found stuck in dentist office's ceiling on Long Island

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:42 AM
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YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BUST A MOVE

CHP chase ends in suspect breakdancing

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Another excuse for us to post this scene from Reno 911.

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:39 AM
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BUT THEY WERE CONSENTING LLAMA PUPPETS

Fall Out Boy Sued for Over-Using Llama Puppets

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:33 AM
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THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

Marks and Spencer shoppers were shocked to see this season's Easter bunnies striking a rather 'suggestive' pose.

(Thanks to Roberto, who says "far worse than Brexit.")

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:27 AM
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THAT WILL DEFINITELY DO IT

‘Flat Earthers’ planning bizarre Antarctica trip to prove conspiracy theory

(Thanks to John Gregg)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:22 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

CALIFORNIA TAX DOLLARS AT WORK

State Employees Confused By New ‘Riot’ Button In Elevators At Sacramento Building

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:13 AM
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IS THERE ANYTHING IN AUSTRALIA *BESIDES* SNAKES?

Tasty tangle as spotted black snake makes a meal of red-bellied black snake

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Update: OK, there's this.

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Dave Roe)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:08 AM
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'IT WAS A GIFT SENT FROM THE HEAVENS'

'Magic fridge' full of cold beer found in flooded Nebraska field

(Thanks to Catherine DeLorey, Ann and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:06 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

THE DOWNSIDE: YOU HAVE TO POUR KETCHUP ON YOUR HEAD

Study reveals chemical in McDonald's fries may be cure for baldness

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:04 AM
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FLORIDA LEADERSHIP UPDATE

Want to be mayor of Port Richey? Show up Tuesday. No felonies, please.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on March 21, 2019 at 10:00 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

March 20, 2019

WE'RE ON OUR WAY

Burst pipe at a brewery floods street with beer

(Thanks to DaninDallas, who says "We're gonna need more pretzels.")

Posted by Dave on March 20, 2019 at 10:02 AM
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'TO GET SOME FACTS STRAIGHT NOTE THAT THIS PROCEDURE DOESN'T MAKE YOU DEAF'

Body modification enthusiast has half of his EARS removed for bizarre look

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Posted by Dave on March 20, 2019 at 09:55 AM
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DUDE, WHERE DO WE APPLY?

Colorado marijuana and driving study: Volunteers get paid to get high

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

Posted by Dave on March 20, 2019 at 09:47 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

AND IN SPORTS

Auburn Tigers dubbed winners of 'sex tournament' by Alabama TV station in on-air blunder

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on March 20, 2019 at 09:34 AM
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AUSTRALIA IS UNIMPRESSED

A Texas homeowner saw a 'few' rattlesnakes and called for help. The removal company found 45 of them

(Thanks to pharmaross, Rod Nunley and Kevin Smith)

Posted by Dave on March 20, 2019 at 09:31 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

A FLORIDA LEARNER'S PERMIT IS ON THE WAY

13-year-old driver clocked at 100 mph in police chase in northern Idaho

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on March 20, 2019 at 09:28 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

RYANAIR: CHUCK E. CHEESE'S OF THE SKY

Ryanair passenger ‘has nose bitten off’ when brawl kicks off on flight to Tenerife

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

Posted by Dave on March 20, 2019 at 09:20 AM
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HE LOOKS FINE TO US

West Topsham man charged with drugged driving

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on March 20, 2019 at 09:18 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

MOO

Cow runs away from Indiana police, blocks traffic and goes to Chick-Fil-A

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, pharmaross and Stan Ruth, who says "Advertising works.")

Posted by Dave on March 20, 2019 at 09:17 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

OINK

Feds seize 1 million lbs. of pork smuggled from China to N.J. port amid African swine fever outbreak

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes and Rod Nunkey, who asks "Why smuggle in foreign pork when we have Congress?")

Posted by Dave on March 20, 2019 at 09:16 AM
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March 19, 2019

OOPS

Bride demanded refund for 'lost' flowers - but florist saw them in wedding snaps

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

Posted by Dave on March 19, 2019 at 06:38 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

'IT IS UNKNOWN WHERE THE COW CAME FROM'

NYPD officers corral wayward cow running on Bronx highway

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on March 19, 2019 at 02:24 PM
Permalink | Comments (14)

HE WAS RELEASED AFTER THE HORSE PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

California Highway Patrol officers made an "equine stop" Sunday and pulled over a 49-year-old man suspected of riding a horse while intoxicated near Watsonville.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on March 19, 2019 at 10:02 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

GUYS IN ACTION

Man tests Tesla Autopilot anti-collision feature by trying to run over his WIFE

(Thanks to Jack Eberling)

Posted by Dave on March 19, 2019 at 10:00 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

SO HOW WAS YOUR COMMUTE?

Six men in court after 'stripping off and throwing POO at each other on a train'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on March 19, 2019 at 09:58 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

AND WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT ALIENS

NASA issues space herpes warning as virus reactivates in astronauts

(Thanks to Dave Roe, Steve Thompson, Mark Schlesinger and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on March 19, 2019 at 09:56 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY VISIT

A woman visiting her parents’ Long Island burial plot descended into more than despair — she sank hip-deep into their grave, a lawsuit claims.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on March 19, 2019 at 09:46 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

SWITCH TO DECAF

A man has claimed an adverse reaction to coffee forced him to throw up in a Hastings movie theatre, headbutt a staff member and resist police arrest.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on March 19, 2019 at 09:41 AM
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GUESS WHAT HE WAS CHARGED WITH

Florida man accused of throwing pancake batter at woman arrested

(Thanks to pharmaross and Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on March 19, 2019 at 09:39 AM
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March 18, 2019

SHE WAS EMBARRASSED, BUT NOT TOO EMBARRASSED TO PUT IT ON FACEBOOK

Alyssa Stringfellow, 25, sent a car insurer photos of herself instead of her car.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Posted by Dave on March 18, 2019 at 10:57 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST SHRED THE CONSTITUTION

Hillsborough calls Flintstone House a ‘public nuisance’

(Thanks to Vernon Bowen)

Posted by Dave on March 18, 2019 at 10:55 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

 
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