Dave Barry's Blog

ALSO ABOARD THE SMUGGLERS' SHIP: 'FOUR MONKEYS, 12 PARROTS AND AN UNDISCLOSED AMOUNT OF MARIJUANA'

The Jamaica Defense Force said an escaped animal initially reported to be a tiger cub is actually an ocelot, a wildcat native to the Americas and Caribbean islands.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WELL IF THE SHEEP ARE INVADING IN HELICOPTERS, IT'S TIME TO FIGHT BACK

Texas aims to legalize hunting invasive sheep from helicopters

(Thanks to MOTW)

WAIT, DUDE.... NOT WEED?

Scientists find the best crops to grow during the apocalypse

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston, who says "I'll either be out or ordering out.")

THE VERY DEFINITION OF NEWS

Naked man arrested after biting dog, officer in Lawrence gas station bathroom

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

SHE MAY BE FICTIONAL, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE CAN'T LEGALLY DRIVE IN FLORIDA

Villager crashes Tesla in roundabout and blames fictional girl driver

(Thanks to Rick Day)