Dave Barry's Blog

UH-OH

Trusted Toilet Paper Supplier Files for Bankruptcy

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

OR, NOT

From now through Friday, May 16, passersby can smell a giant armpit on the street, which will give them a whiff of Billie’s newest tropical-inspired scent, Coco Villa.

(Thanks to Annette)

PARENT OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Texas mother arrested after bringing Jell-O shots to 5th-grade classroom party

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

 

AND IN COLLEGE SPORTS

...a USC student won the first-ever sperm race

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHO SAYS CUSTOMER SERVICE IS DEAD?

Drug Dealer Apologises For Poor-Quality Heroin and Crack Cocaine, Offers Freebies to Customers

(Thanks to Ralph)

BOO

Do You Have 'Ghost Poops'?

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

OOPS

Charity accidentally distributes drug-laced candy to around 400 people

(Thanks to EricY)

WE'RE SURE THEY'LL RETURN IT TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNERS

Dozens of Chicagoans grab $300K cash that fell off back of Brinks truck

(Thanks to pharmaross)

YOU GO, GIRLS

These apes form girl gangs to scare off aggressive males

(Thanks to pharmaross)

YET ANOTHER REASON TO BAN KARAOKE

Woman Allegedly Catches Herpes Virus by Holding Karaoke Mic Too Close to Her Mouth

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE'VE SAT NEXT TO THIS GUY

Southwest Airlines passenger allegedly stripped naked, pooped on seat as plane landed

(Thanks to Mezrap, pharmaross and Unholy Slacker)

MAKES SENSE

Belief In Satan, Hell Linked To Greater Stress

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

PROBABLY TRYING TO GET TO AUSTRALIA

'Twilight Zone' fish with fangs found on Oregon beach. 'I wouldn't touch it'

(Thanks to Rick Day)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Gwyneth Paltrow has started eating carbs and cheese again

(Thanks to EricY)

WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE

Wicklow man loses car in Cork for almost three weeks after forgetting where he parked for stag party

(Thanks to Ralph)