Dave Barry's Blog

THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE

One of the UK’s leading comedy clubs has banned guests with botox in a move that’s no laughing matter for those with “reactionless” faces.

(Thanks to Jim Perth)

OF COURSE IT WAS A PIT BULL

Man claims he was shot by his dog while lying in bed

(Thanks to Allen at Division) 

AT LEAST IT WASN'T ONE OF THOSE FOREIGN WATERMELONS

Florida Woman, 51, Arrested On Domestic Watermelon Battery Charge

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IF THOSE WERE NEW YORKERS, THEY WERE NOT 'SHOCKED'

A 60-foot-long, balloon body double of Kim Kardashian suddenly appeared in the middle of Times Square this week — and shocked New Yorkers with its barely there blue bikini and 15-foot high replica of the reality tv star’s butt, which drew hordes of selfie-taking gawkers.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

NOT CREEPY AT ALL!

Norwegian robotics company 1X recently announced the NEO Gamma, an AI-powered bipedal humanoid robot that can perform multiple household chores, such as carrying laundry, cleaning windows, and vacuuming.

(Thanks to Ralph)

THE LOOMING LIZARD CRISIS

A call to nervousness.

KINKY

Octopuses Use Venom for Safe Sex, Biologists Reveal

(Thanks to pharmaross and Richard Alexander)

ATTENTION IDIOTS... NO, WAIT, SORRY, WE MEAN INVESTORS

China online shops sell ‘bank soil’ from top institutions for US$120, claims it brings wealth

(Thanks to Ralph)

NEW HAMPSHIRE CRIME REPORT

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the New Hampshire Crime Report.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)