CSI: KOKOMO
Stellantis Poop Bandit Wreaks Havoc At Engine Plant
(Thanks to Ron Wylie)
Not to be nitpicky, but: Wouldn't a "poop bandit" steal poop?
Stellantis Poop Bandit Wreaks Havoc At Engine Plant
(Thanks to Ron Wylie)
Not to be nitpicky, but: Wouldn't a "poop bandit" steal poop?
Thousands of chopsticks spill onto California highway
(Thanks to MOTW)
Battery-operated socks linked to Burke Mountain Hotel fire
(Thanks to Annette)
Here's my investigative report.
Hong Kong patient finds gauze in scrotum 2 months after operation
(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "In keeping with the elevated journalistic standards of this blog, I will not call attention to the reporter's last name." To which this blog replies: Thank you.)
The Louis Vuitton lobster bag.
(Thanks to John Lobert)
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, Jay Brandes and Doug Ogg)
Man secretly outbids his in-laws to avoid having them as neighbors
(Thanks to Rick Day)
Enjoy it, blog people. Go team!
Sri Lanka Faces Islandwide Blackouts Due to Monkey Clash
(Thanks to Jay Brandes, who says "We know who egged them on.")
(Also obviously Monkey Clash WBAGNFARB.)
17 members of feuding MILF groups arrested
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
'I've collected 30,000 stands of my hair – I keep count in a notebook and won't stop'
(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "The excitement is palpable.")
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and pharmaross)
Massive moose made in snow with meticulous footprints 'very Canadian,' says artist
(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Very artistic, eh?")
(Thanks to Stan Ruth, who says "She has a Texas drivers license, which should be transferable to Florida.") (Also thanks to David Benson)
Calgary woman fends off porch pirates in her bathrobe
(Thanks to B&C)
500+ eggs whisked away during Seattle breakfast heist, police scramble to crack case
(Thanks to Ralph)
*Doo-dah, doo-dah
Government Scraps Construction Project After Beavers Finish The Job Themselves
(Thanks to Ron Wylie, who says "Send this beaver...")
Another version: Beavers Take 2 Days to Build Dams The Government Had Been Planning for 7 Years
(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet, who says "Send them to Washington?")
Largest shark ever tagged by research group swimming off the Florida coast
(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet, Jay Brandes, Barry Nester, pharmaross and EricY)
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Smuggled live beetles found stashed inside Japanese snacks at LAX, officials say
(Thanks to Doug Ogg and klezmerphan)
Seal found napping on floor of hotel room
(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Always the last place you look.")
Furries warned not to abuse other ‘species’ at Glasgow event
(Thanks to Ralph)
Your odds of being hit by a piece of space junk are higher than you'd think
(Thanks to Doug Ogg)
This Japanese man earned $80,000 a year from ‘doing nothing’
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner, who says "He must be a humor writer.")
National Poo Museum shuts for year to go on tour
(Thanks to Ralph)
Part of California is shifting toward the ocean at 4 inches per week
(Thanks to Ron Wylie, who says "I would call that racing toward the ocean, in plate tectonic terms.")
Devoted nap-takers explain the benefits of sleeping on the job
(Thanks to The Perts)
Banana arrested after confronting lobster in downtown Athens
(Thanks to Jay Brandes and Ralph)
Reptile wrangler removes 102 venomous snakes from a single property
(Thanks to MOTW)
Great beaver snatch as famous explorer accuses neighbours of kidnapping critters
(Thanks to Allen at Division and Ralph)
Eye-tracking study reveals where women and men look when viewing a female butt
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
M&S shopper left covered in faeces and sewage when toilet pipe explodes in store
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
A giant butt appeared on the Nelson-Atkins' snowy lawn.
(Thanks to Joe in Japan)
‘Time Traveler’ From The Year 2671 Issues Several Dire Warnings For 2025
(Thanks to pharmaross)
MN senator wants to make it legal to eat beavers again
(Thanks to Ralph, Allen at Division and pharmaross)
Bonobos recognize when humans are ignorant, try to help
(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet and Alkali Bill)
(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "THERE IS NO Reason to PANIC. At least not about Social Security.")
Swimming teacher drank wine from the bottle before lesson and fell over in pool
(Thanks to Doug Ogg)
Foreigners Demand More Public Toilets After Phuket Urination Controversy
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
Stripper, 22, Busted For Banana Battery At 7-Eleven Store
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)
As a public service to your readers who have a person in their lives who will be very unhappy if someone forgets about Valentine’s Day, this article could help them avoid getting into hot water, so speak. Of course, the type of person who actually finds the article interesting probably has a Canadian girlfriend.
--- Dr. Pangloss
...for Bionic Pancreas!
(Thanks to wiredog)
German Hunters Bellow Like Stags At National Deer Calling Championship
(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "France just left the continent altogether.")