EVERYBODY CALM DOWN

THERE'S NO REASON TO PANIC

Comments

[Jim]

Having thoroughly enjoyed this read, I’d like to pick the target.

[Not My Usual Alias]

I, for one, welcome our incoming planet destroying overlord.

[kwerty]

If we start now with repeated precision-thrown chalk impacts, maybe we can get it to just buzz the tower at Miramar and keep going.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I guess I would trust Mr. Three Name Scientist over the TV writers on 9-1-1: Lone Star, who ended their series with this exact storyline, only with one slight difference: instead of 8 years prep time the city of Austin got ONE HOUR'S WARNING.

[MOTW]

Robin George Andrews -->
Wrong Organised Beer
Grenade bong worries
Ignore brewer gonads
Boned arse regrowing
Inbred arse wore gong
No worse gingerbread

[The Squirrel Whisperer]

As someone once said "The only people who need 3 names are beauty contestants and assassins." Some only need one such as Cher, Elon, Dave, Lassie, etc. I'll worry about space rocks when they get here.

[Ron Wylie]

Send this asteroid to Washington!

[Dave]

MOTW: Excellent work.

[Ralph]

"...if the odds of 2024 YR4 hitting the Earth continue to increase at a rate of approximately one percent per week..that means that by 2032...the odds of the killer asteroid striking the Earth are 364 percent."

Mark Twain had a comment on this kind of logic in Life on the Mississippi, published in 1883:

“In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Lower Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. That is an average of a trifle over one mile and a third per year.

“Therefore, any calm person, who is not blind or idiotic, can see that in the Old Oolitic Silurian Period, just a million years ago, next November, the Lower Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred miles long, and stuck out over the Gulf of Mexico like a fishing-rod.

“And by the same token any person can see that seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Lower Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long, and Cairo and New Orleans will have joined their streets together, and be plodding comfortably along under a single mayor and a mutual board of aldermen.

“There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.”

[man tom]

Speaking from the experience of being a young boy and having a lightening bolt strike a tree and split it to the ground a mere 40 feet from me, I have come to this conclusion each Tuesday and Saturday.

6-18-27-46-50 Bonus Bolt 11

[Rod]

No, Jeff, Austin got the same eight-year warning. They were just too stoned to notice until that last hour, when they could see it up in the sky.

[Alkali Bill]

Back in my small plane flying days, I would tell nervous passengers I almost never crash. Also,taking my hands off the wheel and shouting "YOU GOT IT NOW" was always hilarious.

[cfjk]

Since when did we start needing a reason to panic, did I miss the memo?

[George Costanza]

Isn't going by three names undeniable proof you're an assassin & likely serial killer?

[Frank Costanza]

On the plus side, looking forward to celebrations of Festivus Eve 2032 should be uncharacteristically poignant.

[Math Yoda]

Did anyone else notice that the data given (assuming the percent values are 1 month apart), perfectly fit a quadratic regression. Using a quadratic model, you can see that the probability of a strike reaches a maximum after 6.5 months and declines thereafter. The probability hits ZERO in the 13th month. A few strikes in the calculator and the whole problem disappears like a puff of smoke.

[MOTW]

@Math Yoda - Gee, thanks! That's a relief.
@George Costanza - going by three names also means you are likely still in major trouble with your mother.

[wanderer2575]

Great illustration, Dave. I'm guessing you also do the photographic proof images shown in the National Enquirer.