Dave Barry's Blog

SUPER BOWL MXVLLVXXIII

Enjoy it, blog people. Go team!

TERRORISM UPDATE

Sri Lanka Faces Islandwide Blackouts Due to Monkey Clash

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, who says "We know who egged them on.")

(Also obviously Monkey Clash WBAGNFARB.)

TRAGICALLY, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK

17 members of feuding MILF groups arrested

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

TOTALLY NORMAL!

'I've collected 30,000 stands of my hair – I keep count in a notebook and won't stop'

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "The excitement is palpable.")

YOU MEAN IT DOESN'T?

Vikings believed a goat dispensing endless beer from its udders awaited them in heaven

(Thanks to Ralph)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

10:47 p.m. During an altercation over a loose dog, someone told the neighbor to put their “fingers in unadvisable places.”

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and pharmaross)

HARD TO ARGUE

Massive moose made in snow with meticulous footprints 'very Canadian,' says artist

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Very artistic, eh?")