Dave Barry's Blog

IN MIAMI WE CALL THIS 'PARALLEL PARKING'

A driver lost control of their SUV in a grocery store parking lot in The Woodlands Wednesday afternoon, ending up on its side and wedged between two other vehicles.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth, who says "She has a Texas drivers license, which should be transferable to Florida.") (Also thanks to David Benson)

WHY THE PORCH PIRATES WERE IN HER BATHROBE, WE'LL NEVER KNOW

Calgary woman fends off porch pirates in her bathrobe

(Thanks to B&C)

HEADLINE WRITERS LIVE FOR THIS*

500+ eggs whisked away during Seattle breakfast heist, police scramble to crack case

(Thanks to Ralph)

*Doo-dah, doo-dah

BUT DID THE BEAVERS HAVE A PERMIT?

Government Scraps Construction Project After Beavers Finish The Job Themselves

(Thanks to Ron Wylie, who says "Send this beaver...")

Another version: Beavers Take 2 Days to Build Dams The Government Had Been Planning for 7 Years

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet, who says "Send them to Washington?")

WITH AN ENORMOUS BUT VALID WATERPROOF DRIVER'S LICENSE

Largest shark ever tagged by research group swimming off the Florida coast

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet, Jay Brandes, Barry Nester, pharmaross and EricY)

'THE SHIRLEY TEMPLE KING'

Leo Kelly is an 11-year-old beverage critic, and he already has the power to change restaurant menus.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)