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February 04, 2025

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS THE STATE

Stripper, 22, Busted For Banana Battery At 7-Eleven Store

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

ATTENTION, ROMANTICS:

As a public service to your readers who have a person in their lives who will be very unhappy if someone forgets about Valentine’s Day, this article could help them avoid getting into hot water, so speak.  Of course, the type of person who actually finds the article interesting probably has a Canadian girlfriend.

--- Dr. Pangloss

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER...

...for Bionic Pancreas!

(Thanks to wiredog)

WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO COMMENT ON THIS

Women speak 3,000 more words daily than men during midlife, study shows

AND IN SPORTS

German Hunters Bellow Like Stags At National Deer Calling Championship

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "France just left the continent altogether.")

OK, BUT WHAT ABOUT SQUIRRELS?

The Scottish government has said it will "under no circumstances" be banning cats

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

WE REGRET THAT BECAUSE OF OUR STRICT POLICY...

...we are unable to link to this. We appreciate your understanding.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

INCREDIBLY, THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN AUSTRALIA

Woman too scared to use bathroom after snake found in toilet

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner, who thinks this might be haggis-related.)

GUYS IN ACTION

Male Amazon river dolphins pee into the air, confusing scientists

(Thanks to Ron Wylie and pharmaross, who says "Did they do it on porpoise?")

THEY'RE OPENING FOR U2

Fungus-infected zombie spiders discovered in Northern Ireland

(Thanks to John Lobert)

BOLO

About 100,000 eggs worth $40K stolen from trailer in Pennsylvania

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

 
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