Dave Barry's Blog

URGENT HEALTH ADVISORY

Don’t eat your Christmas trees, Belgium’s food agency warns

(Thanks to Doug Ogg and Ralph)

FINALLY, A PRACTICAL SOLUTION

Italian mayor's proclamation makes it illegal to get sick

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AND IN SPORTS

Chinese man throws playing cards to slice cucumbers, light matches

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Someone please notify the Olympics Committee.")

IT WAS THEN RELEASED

Motorcycle-sized tuna fetches more than $1 million at Japan auction

(Thanks to Ron T)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

New Hampshire Mother Puts Ad in Local Newspaper Seeking Girlfriend for Her Son

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN BEAUTY PAGEANTS

Something is amiss, America.

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, THEY MAY HAVE TO ESCALATE TO 'COPACABANA'

Police tell scared families who are being terrorised by drug-crazed gangs to play classical music to drive them away

(Thanks to MOTW, who says "'Bach off' is the message.")

WHOA

The animal that can regrow a penis - three times!

(Thanks to MOTW)