FLORIDAAAAAAA
Man claims alien abduction during alleged nude carjacking in West Palm Beach
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, who says "In that case, sir, you are free to go.")
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January 07, 2025
BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT
Texas warning of "maneater" screwworms that lay eggs in flesh
(Thanks to pharmaross)
FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT
Peeled bananas left on English street corner each month vex locals
(Thanks to John Lobert and MOTW, who says "They’re already vexed on January 2? I usually wait until March, myself.")
CSI: OTTO, MO.
SEND HER TO WASHINGTON
Brazil ex-official returns toilet she had removed from office
Key Quote: "Obviously, neither I nor my advisers need a toilet."
(Thanks to MrX)