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December 26, 2024

WE NEED TO PUT A HOME DEPOT ON MARS

Mars colonists could use blood and urine to build their homes, say scientists

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

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We need to patch this hole in the wall, might you go out to the outhouse and fix us up some of that Martian spackle?

The Martians will only steal all of the power tools.

Thats fine because there is no life on Mars. As soon as there's life on Mars then it will become an Issue. Oh wait?

Somebody needs to tell scientists that there are a lot of rocks in the rover pics?

Could you grow potatoes in it?


I'm sticking with a sh*t-house.

Think I'll stay here and eat Mars bars.

Here's what ChatGPT has to say this innovation:

Well, folks, just when we thought the science of human misery couldn’t get more innovative, researchers have suggested that future Martian pioneers will not only "give their all" for humanity—they’ll literally give their blood, sweat, and tears. And urine. Let's not forget urine, because apparently, your dream Martian condo won't just have a bathroom—it will be the bathroom.

According to this breakthrough research, astronauts can manufacture "AstroCrete" by mixing Martian soil with their bodily fluids. Yes, we’ve officially entered the HGTV phase of space exploration where the slogan might as well be: “Blood is the new mortar!”

Elon Musk is probably ecstatic. After all, why spend billions on Earth-made materials when you can just tell your crew, “Hey, don’t bleed on the carpet—bleed on the walls!” Imagine the team meetings:

Commander: “Alright, people, we need 200 gallons of sweat and a few pints of blood by Thursday. Jenkins, drink more water—you’re falling behind on the urine quota.”

Now, let’s pause and reflect on the marketing possibilities. Future Martian real estate listings might read: “Cozy 2-bedroom AstroCrete bungalow. Built with 70% love, 20% sweat, and 10% Jenkins’s questionable hydration habits. No pets, no refunds.”

But this raises ethical concerns. Are we really ready for a society where architects are also phlebotomists? And how will interplanetary labor disputes work? “Sir, I’d like to file a grievance—my contract said nothing about donating organs to finish the sunroom.”

Then there’s the durability claim. Blood and urine making stronger concrete? Sure, NASA, because nothing screams “durability” like structures built by people who are too dehydrated to stand upright. Future astronauts will need a union and a vampire, just to keep the walls from crumbling.

Of course, there’s an upside: Finally, a practical use for the phrase, “blood, sweat, and tears.” In fact, that’ll probably be the name of the first Martian HOA.

In conclusion, while this research is fascinating, it does make us wonder: If this is what they’re announcing now, what’s coming next? Colonizing Venus with toenail clippings? A moon base made of earwax? Whatever it is, one thing’s for sure—space exploration is no longer for the faint of heart. Or the squeamish.

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