RACCOONS ARE BASICALLY FAT SQUIRRELS WEARING MASKS
Sam’s Club Temporarily Closed Due to Loose Raccoon in Bakery
(Thanks to Ralph)
Loose Raccoon is currently on tour with Beyonce.
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Update midway through The Belly Button Removal Tour. Beyonce's, Dehumanizing Myself in a Symbolic Way, moves like a loose bowel movement to number two on the country's top ten. Loose Racoon is rumored to be in the midst of it's own surgical removal procedures and to be replaced by Springsteen who had his mind removed and gave it to De Niro, as a symbol of joy, who is *expletives* mad about the whole thing. De Niro and his band, the Expletives, had this to say about joining the tour, eF*?!***! you and eF*?!***! you all.
Posted by: man tom | October 26, 2024 at 12:30 PM
I saw Loose Raccoons at Times Square.
Posted by: Elaine Benes | October 26, 2024 at 01:06 PM
Send this raccoon to Wal-Mart.
Posted by: Lucky Jack | October 26, 2024 at 01:59 PM
Quiet, sir, or everyone will want one.
Posted by: Baker | October 26, 2024 at 03:19 PM
I still prefer my trunk monkey.
Posted by: Bill Moore | October 26, 2024 at 10:58 PM
They're really good at baking pinecone and dandelion bread.
Posted by: Burt Macklin, FBI | October 27, 2024 at 10:38 AM
How do they know the raccoon is loose? Is it giving other raccoons the "Come Hither" look?
Posted by: Evil Mr M | October 27, 2024 at 04:11 PM