CANADA: A NATION IN CHAOS

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police has lost 205 firearms since 2020, including machine-guns

Elusive salamanders make surprising mass appearance in Edmonton area

(Thanks to The Perts and B&C)

Comments

[CPL Doo-Right RCMP]

Coincidence? I think not.

[Florida Man]

Note to man tom: "Most salamanders will leave on their own. If one does get trapped in your yard, you can gently scoop it into a bucket of water and release it near a lake or pond. It's important to use clean, wet hands, Kendall said, because any chemicals from lotions or perfumes can damage the salamander's delicate slime coat.'

[pogo]

Surely Elusive Salamanders opened for some group somewhere.

[wanderer2575]

Homework assignment: Write a short story, 1,000 words maximum, that includes these two sentences.

[man tom]

Canada's Special Weapons and Tactics, SWAT in an all out search immediately set fire to the greater Toronto business district in an effort to, in their words, "you think you have seen chaos watch this," quell the chaos felt nationwide by the loss of the weapons, many citizens were spotted shivering in place, then SWAT issued this statement:

The *expletives* suns a biatches over at The Royal Canadian Mounted *expletive* Police will be reprimanded hard then be expeditiously sent to Alcatraz. They will be expedited, too.

Further statement by S.W.A.T:

We will set fire to all major cities to avert attention from the original fire we set at the business district in Toronto should you speak a further single word about the guns. We have the guns, charred but we have them. Plans are in the works to sell them to known arms dealers then dispatch with the *detractors* all of which to reside at a very crowded expeditiously arranged Alcatraz.

We don't really own Alcatraz, but still...don't say another word about those *expletive* charred guns. You think you've seen chaos? You ain't seen nothin yet.

SWAT issued yet another update.

We are the priests
Of the Temples of Syrinx

[Lucky Jack]

Isn't there a Canadian Craigslist?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Wow, I thought Elusive Salamanders disbanded after Zappa died.

[Pullet Surprise]

Are Canadian salamanders predominantly Catholic? And they only mass on Sundays?

[The Real Barry]

Are the salamanders armed with machine guns?