AHOY, MATEYS!

Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. The Wikipedia arrrrrrticle be here, and this blog's arrrrriginal column be here. the So let's get out there and shiver them timbers, haul them keels and swash them buckles. We be exhausted already.

Comments

[Ol'Short-fused Cannonballs]

Arrgh, me buckles be swashed and a glowing like St Elmo's fire in a wintry gale. Now let's be gett'n to the keel haulin'!

[Pirate Doris, the badly burnt]

Ahoy, y'all! Unfortunately, here is North Texas we have unseasonably warm weather so it feels like I'm swabbing the poop deck in eternity. Yeargh. Time to find me morning grog.

[anthony stewart]

Weigh anchor, mates! Raise the jolly roger on the Flying Dutchman and we'll search for pirate booty!

"This booty?"

"That's a centerfold, I'm talking pieces of eight!"

"Ate what?"

"Oh go walk the plank."

"That's what the ship is made of."

"Aaaaargh!"

"He's on third base!"

[YFNRW (your friendly neighborhood reference wench)]

2018 Bulwer-Lytton Runner Up

Dreaded Pirate Larry was somewhat worried, as he looked down at his boot, where his first mate was stretched out, making whooshing sounds, attempting to blow him over, that despite having the fastest ship, the most eye patches, and the prettiest parrots, his crew may need a few lessons on the difference between literal and figurative, as evidenced by the rest of the crew applying ice to the timbers.

Shelley Siddall, West Kelowna, BC, Canada

[Rod]

Just so you know...the real Capt. William Kidd was a wealthy New York aristocrat, so presumably talked like a wealthy New York aristocrat. He sailed to London to complain to the king about voter fraud (!), and the king was so impressed he granted him a commission to intercept and capture...pirates.

Then the king expanded it to make Kidd a pirate himself, delivering other nations' ships' booty to the king. Eventually, the government dropped piracy in favor of diplomacy, and now out of work, Kidd decided to plunder for himself. The government declared him a criminal. When he went to both New York and London to prove he had a royal commission to pirate, he was railroaded in a rigged trial and hanged.

So instead of "Arrrr", it should probably be "How do you, my good man?"

[Cpt. Kidd's ghost]

Arrgh, that sound like a bit of a false flag , do it not. me hearties?

[Pullet Surprise]

Am waiting for the videos of Wench judi walking the plank today. What? Well, hire her back then for the day.