Dave Barry's Blog

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER...

...for Glowing Wombats.

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

ALWAYS REQUEST A SCORPION-FREE ROOM

Wife of bloke who 'was stung by scorpion on testicles in posh hotel' says it 'ruined sex life'

(Thanks to Annette)

CANADA CONTINUES ITS TERRIFYING DOWNWARD SPIRAL INTO TOTAL ANARCHY

A daring orangutan cartwheeled, tight-rope-walked and trapezed its way out of an enclosure at the Toronto Zoo this week, officials said.

(Thanks to Michael Parry)

THAT'S ROUGHLY 125 PEARS PER HOUR

Japanese police arrest Vietnamese man for stealing 3,000 pears in roughly 24 hours

(Thanks to Ralph)

THAT'S WHAT THEY *WANT* YOU TO THINK

Scientists confirm that most of the universe is 'darkness and nothing more'

(Thanks to EricY)

THIS EXPLAINS A LOT

Super small pieces of plastic are invading human brains, scientists say

(Thanks to Annette)

CANADA: A NATION GRIPPED BY TERROR

Have you seen this statue's head? Manitoba business wants it back after being stolen for a third time

(Thanks to The Perts)

THE WHAT STORE?

Fire at Hells Angels retail store being investigated by Toronto Police

(Thanks to B&C, who asks "What do they sell? Concrete shoes?")

'IT'S LITTERING IN BUBBLE FORM'

Sandy Snakenberg who’s been performing as “the Bubble Pirate” for about a decade, was making desk-sized bubbles for children at 5:15 p.m. when two San Diego Parks and Recreation rangers approached and threatened to write him a citation for littering if he didn’t stop.

(Thanks to al Barkafski)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Harmony Korine Says Hollywood Is Starting to ‘Crumble Creatively’ While Smoking Cigar at Venice Press Conference

(Thanks to Al Barkasfski, who says "Starting?")

PEOPLE OF VERMONT:

You know what to do.

(Thanks to Bill Shaw)

'BEAUTY' IS NOT THE TERM WE WOULD USE

Awkward Instagram Beauty Trend: Halo Eyebrows

(Thanks to John Lobert)