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July 04, 2024

JOURNALISM!

Mystery celebrity who fled Gwyneth Paltrow's Hamptons home after suffering 'catastrophic' diarrhea is REVEALED

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

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Catastrophic Diarrhea will be the title of the book and is the working title of the "blockbuster" movie of the same story.

NOT a celebrity, but a "celebrity hanger-on," which is several steps lower, one presumes.

What are the chances he'll be invited back to Gwynnie's?

Depends.

Overdosed on Goop?

So did she burn some of her vag candles to cover up the smell?

A Goop founder and Poop pounder naturally go together.

"Celebrity hanger-on"? Was Kato Kaelin not available?

You can only cover this stuff up for so long. The seismic sensors here at Stony Brook University picked up the event immediately. We knew it had to be close by.

Scientists did say something strange was going on at the scenter of the Earth, but they thought they knew why.

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