Dave Barry's Blog

NEEDLESS TO SAY EVERYONE INVOLVED HAD A VALID ETC.

Florida man calling out to coyotes survives ‘attack’ by armadillos.

(Thanks to Ralph)

SO FLOSSING IS OUT OF THE QUESTION

Not only do Komodo dragons have serrated, razor-sharp teeth that constantly replenish themselves — they're also iron-coated, according to a new study.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Clearly they are running out of things to study.

GOD HELP THEM IF A SQUIRREL SHOWS UP

Middlebury Underground trying for Guinness World Record for number of dogs at a film screening

(Thanks to Annette)

WE WILL NEVER FORGET WHERE WE WERE WHEN WE HEARD THE NEWS

Chipotle Launches Its First-Ever Beauty Product

(Thanks to John Lobert)

HOW WOULD IT HOLD IT, DUDE?

A Fetus Doesn't Need Its Own Medical Marijuana License, Oklahoma Court Says

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

4:26 p.m. A woman wanted a police officer to come to her house and counsel her grown husband on phishing scams. The husband was upset about the insinuation.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT HAS ALREADY REQUESTED A PERSONAL DAY

Humanoid robot gets to work in BMW assembly plant

(Thanks to EricY)

'COURT DOCUMENTS DID NOT STATE IF THE CIGARETTE WAS LIT OR NOT'

SINGAPORE: A man who ate a teenager's cigarette to allow the teen to avoid enforcement action by the National Environment Agency (NEA) was fined S$1,000 (US$744) by a court on Tuesday.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Name That This Blog Does Not Find At All Amusing: Ramamoorthy Reddiar Jayaraman

CSI: STUPIDVILLE

The resulting search, cops report, turned up a bag inside Riley’s purse labeled “Bag of Drugs.”

(Thanks to pharmaross and Ralph)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

A diver found a brick of cocaine while hunting for lobsters in the Florida Keys, deputies said.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GO FIGURE

Collection of 163 unique bedpans fails to sell at auction

(Thanks to MOTW, pharmaross and John Lobert)

'IN CHINA EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE'

Having taken orders, Chinese factory must actually make massive AI slop gorilla sofas

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

OUR THEORY IS, THE CAR WAS PARKED IN THE TURKEY'S SPACE

Video shows a wild turkey violently attacking a parked car in Boston. Here's one theory why.

(Thanks to EricY and Ralph)

FRANCE ETC.

‘Oh my God!’: Video shows Thousands of dragonflies invading New England beach

(Thanks to Barry Nester and Jim Kenaston)

'SO HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT?'

United Airlines flight diverted over ‘biohazard’ as passengers ask for masks: ‘The crew is vomiting’

(Thanks to pharmaross and MOTW)

THEY ARE WELCOME ON THE HIGHWAYS OF FLORIDA

Japan cracks down on use of rideable electric suitcases amid tourist boom

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

O THE HUMANITY, DUDE

Over 1,000 marijuana plants seized during I-5 traffic stop near Weed

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ALMOST AS COMPELLING AS THE BIGFOOT VIDEO

Ghosthunters in new Loch Ness Monster 'revelation' after hearing 'wailing' sound

(Thanks to pharmaross)

PLAIN AS DAY

Bigfoot 'caught on camera' in nature documentary and cameraman isn't sure what it is

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN SPORTS QUESTIONS

How Do Olympic Gymnasts Avoid Wedgies When They’re Competing?

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

NOW WITH ADDED... EW

Taco Bell customer left 'disgusted' after he 'finds nose ring' in food

(Thanks to John Lobert)

IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO HANDLE THE SITUATION

A dispute over a missing chicken strip resulted in a St. Louis woman striking a Jack in the Box employee with her vehicle, police said.

(Thana to Ralph)

OTTERS ARE BASICALLY AQUATIC SQUIRRELS

Killer Otter removed from Florida lake, report says

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

FUN!

Lego Funeral Set Exists To Help Children Learn About Death

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

AND IN AUSTRALIAN SPORTS

Australian cousins head to Beer Can Regatta with boat made from 8,500 empty cans

(Thanks to EricY)

WE SAW LASAGNA ANOMALY OPEN FOR STRAWBERRY ALARM CLOCK

Drug Smuggle Bid Thwarted By Lasagna Anomaly

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Nothing gets pasta Indiana prison guards.")

CANADA: LAND OF INNOVATION

Ottawa uses shawarma to illustrate weather warnings

(Thanks to The Perts)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Women who rarely have sex may not only suffer a bit from pent up tensions — they could be heading to an early grave, a new study suggests.

(Thanks to many people, all of them men)

STAND TALL, NORTH DAKOTA, IF YOU CAN

Map Shows Which States Drink the Most Beer

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ELDERLY GUYS IN ACTION

Elderly Men Escape Nursing Home To Attend World’s Biggest Heavy Metal Festival

(Thanks to Rick Day)

THAT HAS TO BE A FOUL

Mark Wood blasts Kirk McKenzie's middle-stump during third ENG vs WI Test

(Thanks to Steve Bradford, who says "Sounds painful.")

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

CAR POWERED BUBBLE MACHINE MAKES 50-FOOT LONG BUBBLES

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "If they aren’t going to fly, they might as well do this.")

FAIRY TALES DO COME TRUE

Texas Longhorns coach and exotic dancer Pole Assassin marry 3 years after viral monkey bite incident

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN SPORTS

Australian field hockey player opts to amputate part of his finger in order to compete in Paris Olympics

(Thanks to Ron T)

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DING DONG DITCH?

A Nebraska teenager has been charged with two felony counts of criminal mischief after he was accused of causing a train to derail, recording the crash and posting the video on YouTube, according to court records.

(Thanks to Ron Wylie, who says "You are SO grounded.")

BOLO

$1,500 worth of nipple rings stolen from Tacoma tattoo and piercing shop

(Thanks to B'game)

SOME ITEMS MAKE US REALLY MISS NURSECINDY'S COMMENTARY

This is such an item.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

OFF TO A GREAT START

A couple set to be married this weekend got into an argument over signing a prenuptial agreement that turned violent and resulted in the would-be bride’s arrest for domestic battery, according to court records.

(Thanks to Allen at Division and pharmaross, who says "They ought to have a bang-up honeymoon.")

SIX OF ONE...

Colombian Woman Receives Lizard In Place Of Air Fryer From Amazon

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE MIGHT AS WELL SHRED THE DAMN CONSTITUTION

Restaurant patrons who order chicken wings marketed as "boneless" can't expect them to actually be boneless, according to a Thursday ruling from the Ohio Supreme Court.

(Thanks to The Perts and GJ)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

2:04 p.m. A woman asked to speak to the officer who was like a “good looking Jeff Foxworthy.”

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHICH MEANS THEY HAVE TWICE AS MANY FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Heavy Houston Rains Bring Out Toxic Invasive Worms That Multiply When Cut in Half

(Thanks to Ron Wylie and Ron T)

AND IN SPORTS

Pea Shooting Championships embrace laser aim

(Thanks to John Lobert)

DON'T BOGART IT, DUDE

Snoop Dogg to carry Olympic torch ahead of Paris opening ceremony

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

Fish falls from sky onto New Jersey couple’s Tesla

(Thanks to EricY and mezrap, who says "Hello, Farmers?")

AND IN SPORTS

A Queensland, Australia man pulled on multiple pairs of underpants in a world record attempt on America's Got Talent.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THERE IS NO ALERT LEVEL HIGH ENOUGH

Paris Will Test Flying Taxis During Olympics

(Thanks to B&C)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Giant inflatable squatting man which can be seen for miles appears in Welsh town

(Thanks to Ralph)

IN MIAMI, EVERY CAR IS A BUMPER CAR

Pennsylvania man builds street-legal bumper car

(Thanks to Ralph)

BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH OF THOSE THINGS

Scientist grows male genitals in lab

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, Barry Nester, pharmaross, Asher Scheiner, Ron T and Annette)