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June 14, 2024

THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF EMERGENCY 911 WAS CREATED FOR, DUDE

8:07 p.m. Someone called 911 to ask if any officers wanted to buy marijuana from him.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

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It was a busy night for this guy.

9:57 p.m. A man found a wallet and called 911 to report it, saying he would drop it off by the station and then “get back to selling his drugs.”

9:57 p.m. A man found a wallet and called 911 to report it, saying he would drop it off by the station and then "get back to selling his drugs."

Hey, two counts of honesty. They should give this guy a medal.

(Also, Stan broke the blog!)

The story you are about to hear is true. name...etc...to protect the innocent although no one is innocent.

My office is located in a place a lot like the slums of Flathead County...with the Kalispell Police Department armed and ready to proudly serve keep order. Sometimes.

I place a call to dispatch.

Dispatch: "Are you calling about an emergency?"

Me: "No."

Dispatch: "I'm going to put you on hold."

Me: "OK"

Some 15 minutes later.

Dispatch: "Are you still there...we had a man reporting a Russian helicopter had landed in his back yard out near the countty line, what is the nature of your call?"

Me: "Two guys are smoking meth blocking my driveway. My patients will be arriving soon with their children."

Dispatch: "How do you know it's meth?"

Me: I see them on my camera with meth wrapped in tin foil, lighting a glass pipe with what appears to be a Bic and large plumes of blue/gray smoke floating off around their heads when they cease to hold it in then exhale."

Dispatch: Any weapons, drugs or alcohol? "Oh you said they had drugs."

Me: "No weapons I can see but tis type has been known to carry one."

Dispatch: "I will Dispatch a unit. We are tied up right now with the Russian helicopter out by the county line and there have been several bank robberies in the area this morning." "As soon as possible Ok."

me: "Ok, please hurry I don't to have a group of say 30 to 40 people join in to hit that pipe."

Two hours later police arrive.

Officer 1: "You called about some guys smoking eth in your driveway?"

Me: "Yes they are gone now but if you walk over here I can show you."

I walk the officers over to the driveway and show them white powder spilled about the asphalt driveway and a discarded tin foil wrapper strewn nearby.

Officer 2 bends down to get a closer look the says,

"Where are they now?"

Me: "They walked don to the corner, there are a number of people gathered there. They are probably buying/selling and using meth right now.

"Officer 1; "What do you want us to do?

Me: "You EFING Moron...GO THERE AND ARREST THEM!"


7:04 a.m. Four cows escaped their pasture and were wandering down the road. ...In out defense, we heard there's a really great pasta place just down the road from here.

Isn't that why they call it dope?


Caller also offered to sell them Doritos and brownies for later.

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