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June 19, 2024

THAT IS ONE SLOW DIGESTIVE PROCESS

Watch believed to have been eaten by cow turns up 50 years later

(Thanks to John Lobert)

PASS

Meet the hobbyists who collect barf bags

(Thanks to Ron T)

AND THEY ALL CAN LEGALLY VOTE IN FLORIDA

Chinese Sex Doll Mega Producer Says Next-Gen AI Bots Are On the Way

(Thanks to wiredog, who says "Humanity is doomed.")

CANADA: A NATION ON THE CUTTING EDGE

Virtual buffalo will soon be roaming Regina's Māmowimīwēyitamōwin Park.

(Thanks to The Perts)

No word on whether virtual deer and antelope will be playing.

IF YOU CAN MAKE IT THERE...

Florida man tosses furniture off 20-story Midtown Manhattan building

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "Because there are no 20 story buildings in Florida?")

EXACTLY WHAT GOLF NEEDS

Insane six-man golf brawl breaks out during Father’s Day round

(Thanks to pharmaross)

A BENEFIT FOR PRIME MEMBERS

Bengaluru couple finds cobra in Amazon package

(Thanks to Ralph)

THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

Drunk Man at Disney World Punches Cast Member And Threatens Others With Pole

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUESS THE STATE

Moment McDonald’s worker opens fire on drive-thru customer who complained about incorrect order

(Thanks to pharmaoss and Janice Gelb, who says "Just eat the cold fries.")

June 18, 2024

JUST A BEER FOR US, THANKS

Russians Used To Keep Their Milk Fresh With Frogs

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

MAKES SENSE, BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE BOOK OF GENESIS, THEY BOTH HAD FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Was the Biblical Garden of Eden in Florida? Minister long claimed park in northwestern part of the state was once home to Adam and Eve

(Thanks to pharmaross and Barry Nester)

NEW ZEALAND BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the New Zealand Business Spotlight.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

San Diego is cracking down on... yoga.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

PASS THE EXTENSION CORD

Electrical brain stimulation can ease heartbreak, study finds

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE SQUIRRELS ARE BEHIND THIS

'Mysterious' monolith similar to column seen in 2020 appears in Las Vegas desert

(Thanks to Ed. Floden)

SO HOW WAS YOUR COMMUTE?

Snake spurs evacuation of Hong Kong commuter train

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ADVISORY FOR NEW JERSEY RESIDENTS:

Get out now.

(Thanks to EricY)

June 17, 2024

RAUNCHY NAKED NEON.... BINGO?

Swingers to strip off for classic game in raunchy naked neon bingo party

(Thanks to Annette)

WE BLAME GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE

A shocking number of Americans are slathering their hot dogs with mayo:

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AND IN INDOOR SPORTS

The Sperminator welcomes 165th child just before Father’s Day — and makes shocking announcement

(Thanks to Ron T, pharmaross and Al Barkafski)

FINALLY, JUSTICE

Skunk Ape Headquarters Voted Among Best U.S. Roadside Attractions

(Thanks to pharmaross)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Crabs on cocaine

(Thanks to Ron Wylie, who says "In theaters now!")

June 16, 2024

THE WORD IS 'HEROES', DUDE

Cannabis regulators allow pot to be transported to Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket amid shortage

(Thanks to EricY)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Woman Finds Venomous Snake in Her Walmart Shopping Cart

(Thanks to Rick Day and pharmaross)

IT COULD BE MISTAKEN FOR OUR STATE LEGISLATURE

Hundreds attend Great Florida Bigfoot Conference in Ocala

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BEARS ARE BASICALLY LARGE SQUIRRELS

California bear blamed for five break-ins in two hours

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Wild black bear found sleeping inside woman's car in rural Ontario after 'revenge' break-in

(Thanks to Ralph)

SEND EVERYONE INVOLVED TO WASHINGTON

Fistfight erupts in Italian parliament

(Thanks to EricY)

FATHER'S DAY

Have a good one, fellow dads.

June 15, 2024

IT GETS BORING UP THERE

NASA's Perseverance Rover Accidentally Draws Gigantic Penis on Mars

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

SIMPLE AS THAT

A wildlife veterinarian discovered that the Apple Watch can measure a lion's heart rate if you strap it to the tongue.

(Thanks to Ralph)

THEY ALL HAVE VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Small Georgia town could be home to thousands of monkeys despite protests

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

WORLD'S SLOWEST GETAWAY

Texas pastor sentenced to 35 years for stealing churches

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG, DUDES?

German police have issued a warning to English fans ahead of the Euros, urging them to smoke cannabis instead of drinking alcohol to prevent potential disturbances, according to recent reports.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE MIGHT AS WELL SHRED THE SO-CALLED 'BILL OF RIGHTS'

The staffers, all in the firm’s wealth- and investment-management unit, were “discharged after review of allegations involving simulation of keyboard activity creating impression of active work,” according to disclosures filed with the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority.

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

June 14, 2024

EXHIBIT A: STAR TREK

Apparently space travel makes people dumber

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF EMERGENCY 911 WAS CREATED FOR, DUDE

8:07 p.m. Someone called 911 to ask if any officers wanted to buy marijuana from him.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF EMERGENCY 911 WAS CREATED FOR

Man calls 911 because neighbor wasn’t cleaning her cat’s litter box

(Thanks to Ralph)

IRREFUTABLE

U.K. tabloids abuzz with Canadian's 'Loch Ness monster' photo

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AT *ALL TIMES*

Local community warned to keep toilet lids closed

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

Related: Hot and hungry toilet snakes on the rise across Australian states

(Thanks to pharmaross)

DON'T MESS WITH AUSTRALIANS

A crocodile was terrorizing this Australian town. So residents cooked and ate it

(Thanks to many people)

WE'VE ALL DONE IT

Furious woman struts naked through airport in wild scene

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

WE ALWAYS DO

Dog walkers urged to avoid emus

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

ONE LAST PHOTO FROM THE WORKING HIATUS

We had an early flight out of the Salzburg airport, where we were greeted by this sign, which -- bear in mind, this blog does not speak German -- is not what you want to see when you're about to board an airplane:

Shit happens

June 13, 2024

THIS WOULD EXPLAIN EPCOT

Harvard Scientists Say There May Be an Unknown, Technologically Advanced Civilization Hiding on Earth

(Thanks to John Lobert, pharmaross, EricY and Not My Usual Alias)

'IT'S IMPOSSIBLE THAT WE WOULD KICK SOMEONE OUT MIDWAY'

A popular tourist destination in China has installed toilet timers.

(Thanks to Itai and Ralph)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE TROGGS

Loose monkey sighting reported in Illinois county

(Thanks to John Lobert)

GOOD THING THEY WEREN'T HAVING HAMBURGERS

This is a video of two dudes sitting down to a nice Italian dinner when a cow enters the kitchen and makes eating that dinner incredibly difficult.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WHAT?

Woman who didn’t know she was pregnant gave birth at Golden Corral

(Thanks to Alkali Bill)

Reaction from Mrs. Blog, who, unlike this blog, has personally experienced pregnancy: "No." 

CLOSE ENOUGH

Despite having boarding passes showing their destination as Barcelona, they were flown to Kaunus in Lithuania.

(Thanks to The Perts)

HAVE ALLERGIES?

Don't click here.

(Thanks to Mezrap)

 
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