Dave Barry's Blog

THESE YOUTHS TODAY

China youth embrace strange stress-relief trend of touching buttocks of sheep

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THEY DO A KILLER VERSION OF 'LOUIE LOUIE'

'Singing lemurs demonstrate origin of human music'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SEND THESE BEETLES TO WASHINGTON

When steering balls of poop, dung beetles use the stars to navigate

(Thanks to Jim Anderson and Greg Snow, who says "It’s what I do when Waze is running laggy.")

'IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE IDEA FOR YEARS'

Netherlanders build bicycle measuring 180 feet, 11 inches long

(Thanks to John Lobert)

CANADA: THE NIGHTMARE NEVER ENDS

Saskatoon truck spills load of pig parts in rush hour traffic

(Thanks to The Perts)

The Leadership They Need: A Canadian man has made history by receiving zero votes in a contested federal election, after running as part of a protest over the lack of electoral reforms in the country.

(Thanks to Doug Ogg and John Lobert, who says "Send this man to Washington!)

NO WORD ON HOW THEY HANDLE PROSTATE EXAMS

In May, the hospital group began offering patients the ability to see their doctor remotely as a hologram through a partnership with Holoconnects, a digital technology firm based in the Netherlands.

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

STANDING HIS GROUND

Florida Man Arrested For Shooting Down Walmart Delivery Drone Over His Neighborhood

(Thanks to Rick Day, Rod Nunley and pharmaross)

STAND TALL... INDIANAPOLIS?

The US cities having the most - and least - sex. Where does yours rank?

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

THOSE THINGS SHOULD NOT BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

A Minnesota county board candidate was arrested on assault charges after a tenant claimed that she threw a live tarantula at her after apparently being inspired by the movie Home Alone.

(Thanks to Ron Wylie, who says "And she looks like she would do it again.")

WE HARDLY KNEW YE

South Korea administrative robot defunct after apparent suicide

(Thanks to Ralph and Annette)

HOW DID WE DO?

Mumbai Man Receives Call From Flipkart 6 Years After Placing Order

(Thanks to Ralph)

NEVER BE UNGRATEFUL TO AN ESTHETICIAN

A Missouri esthetician was allegedly caught putting weed killer in her husband’s soda because he was “not appreciative” of the 50th birthday she threw him, police said.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

What’s a ‘fart walk’? How this trendy exercise can help digestion

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SHE IS WELCOME ON THE HIGHWAYS OF FLORIDA

Woman charged for driving suitcase without a license in Osaka

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

WE BLAME THE RUSSIANS

Massive Alligator Blocks Florida Air Force Base

(Thanks to Rick Day)

DEFINITELY A RED CARD

Massive sinkhole swallows soccer fields at Illinois park

(Thanks to John Lobert and Rod Nunley)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

New organ discovered in the human throat that lubricates an area behind the nose is found accidentally by researchers studying prostate cancer

(Thanks to Allen at Division, who says "That's one LONG endoscope.")

THIS NEVER HAPPENS TO THE REMAINDERS

Watch Morgan Wallen Get Hit in the Face With a Pair of Women’s Underwear Mid-Concert

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

CHEERS!

The world’s oldest wine contains a cremated Roman aristocrat

(Thanks to B&C, who say "Just a Coke for us, please.")

SENIORS KEEPING ACTIVE

74-year-old HOA board member accused of pooping on homeowner’s wall in ongoing dispute

(Thanks to Rick Day)

'SMILING' IS ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE IT

Scientists create smiling robot face from living human skin cells

(Thanks to Susan Cotter and Barry Nester)

HELLO, FARMERS?

Manure truck crash covers Connecticut homes, yards in liquid feces

(Thanks to John Lobert and pharmaross)

WASHINGTON?

The brain makes a lot of waste. Now scientists think they know where it goes

(Thanks to Rod Nunley and Mezrap)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Four Protesters Arrested After One Pooped In Rishi Sunak’s Private Pond

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

'I'M GETTING A DIVORCE BECAUSE THE LID ON MY HOT PEPPER PASTE WAS OVER-TIGHTNENED''

This Woman Just Found Out That Her Husband Has Been Purposely Tightening All Of Her Jar Lids For The Last Five Years.

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

AND IN SPORTS

THE WORLD’S BIGGEST HOBBYHORSE CHAMPIONSHIPS

(Thanks to John Lobert)

YOU KNOW WHO WAS BEHIND THIS

Royal Mail says sorry for delays caused by seagulls

(Thanks to Ralph)

GOOD LUCK GETTING THEM TO PAY IT

Gassy cows and pigs will face a carbon tax in Denmark

(Thanks to Edmond Orignac, Barry Nester, Al Barkafski, Ron Wylie, B&C and Doug in Sacramento)

BOLO

Missing hairless dog in rainbow pajamas last seen at Welcome Beach

(Thanks to The Perts)

ANALYSIS: TRUE

Pet cats 'hate us' and are plotting against their owners, scientists claim 

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WOMEN AND CHILDREN WERE EVACUATED FIRST

Unexplained flooding forces temporary closure of Volo Museum’s Titanic exhibit

(Thanks to Ed. Floden)

AND IN SPORTS

New Jersey man flies to Florida to attack another player over online gaming dispute

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SERIOUSLY? 'HOLIDAY TOUCHDOWN?'

The Kansas City Chiefs will partner with Hallmark Media, the NFL and Skydance Sports for a Christmas movie, entitled: Holiday Touchdown: A Chiefs Love Story, the team announced Tuesday.

(Thanks to MOTW)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Japanese instant noodle giant Nissin Foods released the new pufferfish flavour on Monday

(Thanks to B&C and The Perts)

WE PAUSE FOR THIS PUBLIC-SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

You may have already published this because it old. But it is still important.

(Thanks to The Fourth George)

A FLORIDA SHIP-CAPTAIN'S LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

Cargo ship stuck in river after tide falls

(Thanks to wiredog)

AND IN SPORTS

Man assembles Mr. Potato Head in record-breaking 5.15 seconds

(Thanks to John Lobert and MOTW)

HEY, IT'S 2024

‘Male’ Brazilian rainbow boa produces 14 baby snakes in ‘miracle birth’

(Thanks to The Perts and B&C)

FORTUNATELY, OREGON IS NOT HELPING

Plans being made to remove dead whale near Maine bridge

(Thanks to Ralph)

TERRORISM UPDATE

Squirrel causes power outage at Portland Jetport

(Thanks to Ralph)

THAT SHOULD DO IT

I flash my boobs at NYC tourist hotspots for gender equality

(Thanks to pharmaross)

FLORIDA MOTORIST OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Clearwater police arrested a man after a car was found hanging right off a pier Monday afternoon.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

OR JUST GO TO A MOTEL

Beat the heat in your tent with a camping air conditioner

(Thanks to EricY)

WHY MEN SHOULD WEAR BRIEFS

Thai man wakes up to find a cobra chilling in his boxer shorts

(Thanks to Debbie in the Hague)

Reminds us of a Groucho joke.

FASHION UPDATE

The OHMNI line includes a $100 shiny silver bucket hat marketed to highlight its “unique atomic structure,” which gives it electromagnetic wave deflecting powers; a $200 “Data Protection Dump Bag,” which includes a built-in Faraday cage to block all data and WiFi connections; and a $50 pair of boxer shorts made from “Original Silver Street Shield textiles” providing protection for the “numerous risks linked to electromagnetic radiation,” all promising to restore people’s autonomy and freedom.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

NEWS YOU CAN USE

A wombat produces about 80-100 cubes of poop each day.

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

WHO SAYS CHIVALRY IS DEAD?

The fight started after the victim allegedly kissed the attacker’s family member, the report said. It resulted in the victim having the tip of his nose almost cut off with a katana sword.

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

TODAY'S ACTIVE SENIORS

88-year-old Montana man sentenced to prison for role in 2 bank robberies

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

ALWAYS CARRY WATER IN YOUR BOOT

Lost for 10 days in California forest, man survived by drinking from his boot

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, who says "And now he has Athlete’s Mouth!")

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

Spilled squid creates a stink along Rhode Island highway

(Thanks to pharmaross)