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May 15, 2024


10:26 a.m. A woman was concerned about her son’s girlfriend, who was standing naked in the yard.

(Thanks to pharmaross and Mary Smith)


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You knock a man's hat off here in Texas, and you're fixing to get shot.

It is hard to understand the need for concern until your girlfriend frequently appears standing naked in public.

Calling 911 at 10:26 in the morning to report this doesn't seem like her first best choice of response to the situation unless this is some kind of a stalking situation.

Was she out standing naked in the yard or outstanding naked in the yard?

Maybe she's just a farming nudist?

Re: 11:20pm:
"Ding dong ditching"?

Ding dong ditching is the juvenile prank of repeatedly ringing someone's doorbell and running away before the occupant answers the door.

The pranksters hide behind bushes or trees and take perverse pleasure in annoying the neighbor that's always yelling about stepping on their lawn, or some other chronic complaint.

Some instigators would even gather dog poop and put it into a bag and set it on fire on the neighbors porch, then ring the doorbell and run... hoping the target would stomp it out.

Or so I heard from my friends in the hood.

>Some instigators would even gather dog poop and put it into a bag and ""set it on fire"" on the neighbors porch, then ring the doorbell and run... hoping the target would stomp it out.<

Oh man, I 'we' give up. You got us.

*Not my idea, but funny nonetheless. I was always the fastest runner.

Another thing we would often do as adolescent punks, Ok I admit it. There was a junk yard at the end of the street I lived on. My buddies would go there and swipe a hubcap off a junk car. Proceed down to the other end of the street where the railroad track crossed my street. Then hide behind the hedges along the street. When a car crossed the track, roll the hubcap out to the center of the street, 'clank". Then all of us would run out in the street and pick up the hub cap and pretend to walk away with it. Many times the driver would slam on the brakes, throw the car in reverse and come after us. We would scatter up the side street, through the front yards, through the back yards, hop fences and be on a street a block away in no time. I remember the car would be sitting out in front of the house I just ran through the yards of losing sight of me as I hopped the fences into the darkness. Sometimes we would throw eggs hoping for a prize of hitting the windshield. My fondest memory of the egg throwing was when my goofy buddy, Mike, hurled an egg and the egg went into the open driver's side window of the car. No one ever caught us. We were too fast. If we didn't have hubcap at hand, we would 'borrow' someone's metal trash can lid and roll that out in the street.

I know you are wondering, what ever happened to my great neighborhood adolescent friends?

1. Prison
2. Military
3. Dead.

*Note: My buddy Mike took the eggs from his mother's refrigerator. I can still vividly recall his mother slam her fist down on the kitchen table and loudly declare, "G@D D@mn you Michael."

*Note II: Where you grew up is not like where I grew up.

This is the new streaking alternative or just another TikTok challenge? I’ll keep alert while traveling the neighbor to see if it’s the second choice.

Reminds me of that famous painting of a woman standing in a clam shell titled 'Venus on the half shell." This brings to mind something like "Connie in the Crab Grass."

She'll be back inside pdq when the cicadas start peeing.

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