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May 31, 2024

ADVISORY

For the next ten days this blog will be on vacation a working hiatus in a secret undisclosed location that has beer will remain nameless. During this time blogging from us will be sporadic because of the amount of beer consumption hiatus work that we will be engaging in. It is possible that judi will post here occasionally despite being fired. During this period we ask everyone to please remain calm and above all stay indoors

YOU MAY NOW PET THE BRIDAL BOUQUET

Bride Carries Beloved Dog Instead of Bouquet on Wedding Day

(Thanks to Allen at Division, who says "All went well until time to toss the bouquet.")

CANADA: LAND OF EXCITEMENT

Prince Edward Island celebrates first-ever International Day of Potato

(Thanks to The Perts)

IDEALLY ONE OF THEM WILL HAVE A WORKING CAMERA

Tourists across the world descend on Scotland for biggest ever search for Loch Ness Monster

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SIR ABBA

ABBA get a prestigious Swedish knighthood for their pop career that started at Eurovision

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN SPORTS

Man breaks his own world record for typing with his nose

(Thanks to Annette)

AMAZON CAN DELIVER THEM

Why scientists say we need to send clocks to the moon — and soon

(Thanks to Ron T)

FLATHEAD: COUNTY OF MYSTERY

3:39 p.m. A woman allowed her ex-husband to drive her car as long as he didn’t drive after drinking. The car was returned with several dents and a missing door, which was found in a nearby ditch, but no explanation as to what happened.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

May 30, 2024

WE MIGHT AS WELL SHRED THE CONSTITUTION OF WHATEVER COUNTRY COSTA BRAVA IS LOCATED IN

Costa Brava town bans penis suits and sex dolls from stag and hen dos

(Thanks to pharmaross and Ralph)

HEADLINE-WRITER HEAVEN

Overturned strawberry truck causes jam on two highways

Har!

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Having kids may shorten a man’s life, groundbreaking study reveals

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, who says "For this we needed a study?")

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Snakes force COVID vaccination centre in Wales to close

(Thanks to Ralph)

GERMANY: LAND OF FUN

German 'insect summer' invites citizens to count the bugs in their own backyards

(Thanks to John Lobert)

'RAMEN LOVERS' IS ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE THEM

Ramen lovers continue to eat noodles as restaurant goes up in flames around them

(Thanks to The Perts)

THEY ARE SUCH PRANKSTERS

North Korea accused of sending balloons carrying excrement into the South

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet, Ralph, Rick Day, man tom and Doug Ogg) 

NEW YORK DEMANDS A RECOUNT

America’s dirtiest city is revealed

(Thanks to pharmaross)

FOOTWEAR FASHION UPDATE

"From sharp tailoring to flamboyant silhouettes enlivened with graphic chiaroscuro, Nicolas Ghesquiere imbues his signature style with a passionate Spanish flair, cultivating a multifaceted allure through an emotional journey of discovery."

That's one way of putting it.

(Thanks to Ralph)

FLORIDA:

State of Romance

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MAYBE TRY BEING A SNAKE

Man who spent $14K to become a collie changes his mind after realizing it's 'very difficult' to walk like a dog

(Thanks to Dave Benson, Buck Nekkid, EricY and Robert Moats) 

May 29, 2024

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

Naked Bumblebee Transformer Statue Climber Charged for Indecent Exposure

(Thanks to pharmaross and Ralph)

STAND TALL, FLORIDA. ON THE BEACH.

Florida Named Shark Attack Capital of the World, Again

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

CSI: LUFKIN

Lufkin PD dash cam captures kangaroo hopping in front of patrol car

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

WITH HELP FROM THE SQUIRRELS, THAT'S HOW

How one of the world’s most successful indoor pests took over the planet

(Thanks to EricY)

FATHER’S DAY IS COMING

Is Dad a golfer?

(Thanks to Al Barkfski)

THESE CLAMS TODAY

Mom Fined $88,000 After Kids Take 72 Clams From California Beach

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

May 28, 2024

YUCK

Mormon cricket 'sludge' causes crashes in Nevada

YOU ARE NOW FREE TO MOVE ABOUT THE CABIN

Man who 'ran through Virgin Australia plane naked and knocked over attendant' arrested

(Thanks to pharmaross and Frank)

IT'S JUST A FLESH WOUND*

A row has broken out in Mexico after the arm of a mummy in a museum ‘fell off’.

(Thanks to Doug Ogg and Ron Wylie)

*Reference here.

AND IN OLYMPIC SPORTS

The hashtag #JeChieDansLaSeineLe23Juin, which translates to ‘I sh*t in the Seine on June 23’ began trending on X last week after she announced the date of her dip.

(Thanks to Annette, Jim Perth, Asher Scheiner Rod Nunley and Barry Nester)

AND IN SPORTS

YouTuber Speed 'hospitalized and bleeding' after injury in brutal cheese rolling race

(Thanks to Rod Nunley and Annette)

No! Not YouTuber Speed!

THIS IS WHY WE HAVE THE NATIONAL GUARD

Rash of pickleball paddle pilfering reported in D.C. area, East Coast

(Thanks to Annette)

UH-OH

Dead whale floating off Oregon coast washes ashore north of Nehalem Jetty

(Thanks to Ed Quinn and Steve Thompson)

THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF EMERGENCY 911 WAS CREATED FOR

Georgia woman calls 911 to get raccoon tased, have deputies google restaurant hours for her

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

‘They’re out of control’: flock of 100 feral chickens torments village

(Thanks to Roberto and Allen at Division)

May 27, 2024

FL_RIDAAAAAAAAA

Florida man goes on ‘Wheel of Fortune’ and makes NSFW flub

(Thanks to Ralph)

NATURAL SELECTION

Bear breaks into Monrovia home and leaves with only one item: Oreos

(Thanks to Ralph)

THESE KIDS TODAY

Orcas aren’t attacking boats — they’re just playful teens, scientists say

(Thanks to B&C)

ANYTHING FOR RATINGS

Boston 25 News Anchor Vanessa Welch Swallows Fly On Live TV

(Thanks to John Lobert)

MEMORIAL DAY

Have a good one, but please remember why it's called Memorial Day.

May 26, 2024

CANADA: A NATION IN THE THROES* OF TOTAL ANARCHY

Canadian walking her dog finds more than 40 rotisserie chickens in the woods

(Thanks to B&C, who says "This is unusual; normally, there's about 20.")

*Whatever a "throe" is.

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Napoleon’s one-and-a-half inch long penis last known to be in the possession of NJ urologist’s daughter

(Thanks to pharmaross)

EXACTLY LIKE CHER

The Chuck E. Cheese band delays retirement with an encore at 3 more stores

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WAIT... THAT'S ILLEGAL?

Nicki Minaj detained for ‘carrying drugs’ in Amsterdam

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE'VE BEEN WAITING OUR WHOLE LIFE TO HEAR THESE WORDS

Your toilet seat doesn’t have to look boring.

(Thanks to Ralph)

STAY OFF HIS LAWN

‘Quality of life issue’ leads to arrest of 81-year-old ‘serial slingshot shooter,’ police say

(Thanks to man tom)

JUST A HOT DOG FOR US, THANKS

Family stricken with rare brain worms after eating undercooked bear

(Thanks to MAC, who says "Always cook your bears thoroughly.")

DEPARTMENT OF BILLS YOU WILL NOT SEE PASSED IN FLORIDA

California bill would require new cars to beep at speeding drivers

(Thanks to man tom and Rod Nunley)

May 25, 2024

HONEYMOONER OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Groom arrested after fight over alleged flirting at wedding reception led to guest being shot

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Other than that, it was a lovely affair.")

CONGRESS HAS BEEN LEADING THIS MOVEMENT, SLOWLY, FOR DECADES

Why more and more organizations are adopting the slow work movement

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

BEST CLASS EVER

Alligator escapes from petting zoo at Missouri middle school

(Thanks to Annette)

 
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