DON'T TELL THE HIGHWAY DEPARTMENT

Ultra-rare fish, almost never seen by humans, washes up on Oregon coast for first time

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Comments

[New Squid On the Block]

No more dynamite for efishiency!

It left everybody hard of herring.

[pad]

Link that does not entail exposing one's soul to Fox News: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/footballfish-washes-up-on-oregon-coast-in-rare-sighting/

[padraig]

'The footballfish usually lives in complete darkness and is "rarely seen," the aquarium said.'
Well, that would follow.

[Clankie]

If fish need to wash up, they should do it in the privacy of their own homes.

[padraig]

Squid, you're a real cod.

[Elaine Benes]

Probably a male footballfish that got lost and wouldn't stop to ask for directions. That's why after they mate the males attach themselves to the females and essentially become parasites, loose their eyes, and then their sole purpose is to provide the females with sperm.

[man tom]

A little flour, salt, pepper and a deep fry skillet would make it a top seller at Starbucks. Wait... I have never been to Starbucks. How about scratch that genuine idea for a Starbuck's menu item and think about how the fish may be trying to call out to it's parasitic lover. No? Well, I can hear it calling out now.

Maybe that Pacific Footballfish could do a spot with Joe Namath in one of those hearing aid commercials? Hey, it could be dating someone equally ugly on The View for all you know. I have never watched The View. What is Starbucks like?

[Marine Biologist George Costanza]

So he died after he took 'IT' out.

There's a lesson to be learned here my friends.

Master baiting can even make a footballfish go blind.

[Rod]

What is one of our elected officials doing washed up on an Oregon beach?

[Spin doctor]

He's hoping he'll get a boost on the polls like Chris Christie did.

[Pullet Surprise]

The Oregon Highway Dept immediately put their whale-washed-up-on-the-beach emergency action plan, filled the fish with dynamite, and blew it up. This Department was recognized by the Oregon Legislature for its quick response to save the lives of Oregonians.

[The Real Barry]

Go easy on the poor thing. Imagine trying to play football when you haven't any feet!

[Burt Macklin, FBI]

Tom Brady was immediately sent to Oregon to deflate the football fish.

[wanderer2575]

"Ultra-rare"? The Chopped judges will all say "Your fish is cooked perfectly."