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April 09, 2024

THEY ALREADY HAVE FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Indigenous leaders want to protect whales by granting them legal personhood

(Thanks to GJ, who says "Except in Oregon.")

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This will place whales and human fetuses on equal footing.

Surely squirrels are next, all part of their evil plan.

This is obviously a trap for comments about certain popular singer. I'm not going to fall for it.

So now we can be sued and charged with murder by the krill?

And just to point out to the lawyers controlling Cpt. Ahab's estate, I acted in self defense.

Then why didn't you just deep-dive and swim away?

Now, of course, they'll have to start paying taxes.

To Moby D: Call me. Ishmael. Or text me.

Probably members of the Heckawi tribe.

Of course, any law would be a fluke.

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