Dave Barry's Blog

WASN'T THAT A HIT FOR THE B-52S?*

Love Sac

(Thanks to Linda Schutjer)

*Geezer reference here.

'OKAY TO BAPTIZE A BABY IN GATORADE'

Catholic Group Defrocks AI Priest After It Gave Strange Answers

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER?

Driver hits tree, continues on with trunk embedded in truck

(Thanks to wanderer2575)

Incredibly, alcohol appears to have been involved. 

ALSO: WAS IT AL DENTE?

Investigators did not identify the kind of pasta or sauce used in the alleged attack. It is also unclear if Goins was transporting his dinner (or leftovers) home or whether he regularly travels so armed.

(Thanks to Roberto and Mezrap)

NOBODY IS SAFE UNTIL WE FIND A CURE

Simon Cowell phobia.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

AND IN SPORTS

100 crying babies face off at sumo festival

(Thanks to MOTW)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

KFC launches first-ever perfume

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE SAW FMG OPEN FOR ELO

Fearless monkey gang tear down anti-monkey posters in terrifying town uprising

(Thanks to Annette)

YOU KNOW WHERE SHE WAS HEADED

Indiana woman arrested after allegedly driving on wrong side of interstate, biting officer

(Thanks to Gregory Snow)

BOLO

4 zebras escape trailer off eastbound I-90 by North Bend

(Thanks to B'game)

'REALISTIC' IS ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE IT

The realistic fireplace simulator is perfect for those who wish to enjoy the campfire experience without the hassle of building a real fire

(Thanks to John Lobert)

'UFO'

‘UFO’ hauled down desert road by a tractor trailer in bizarre new photos

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "We were promised flying UFOs.")

THE VISUAL EVIDENCE IS OVERWHELMING

Fresh 'Loch Ness Monster sighting' as man claims to have seen creature emerge from water

(Thanks to John Lobert)

IF YOU CAN MAKE IT THERE

Historic moment in NYC: Man eats an entire jar of cheeseballs

(Thanks to Marta Z)

GUYS IN PARENTAL ACTION

Dad Accidentally Trains Daughter to 'Sit' After Going Walking With the Dog

(Thanks to Ralph)

WAIT... IS THAT WRONG?

Florida man accused of driving with license that's been revoked since 1999

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN SPORTS

Ghana man hugs 1,123 trees in an hour for world record

(Thanks to John Lobert)

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER...

...for Weaponized Mustache.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

'A LIVE CAT WAS LITERALLY THE LAST THING THEY WERE EXPECTING TO SEE WHEN THEY OPENED THE BOX'

Utah cat accidentally shipped in an Amazon return box, found 650 miles from home by warehouse worker

(Thanks to EricY)

IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER?

Car lands vertically on Ann Arbor street sign after drunk driver hits wire

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston, Barry Nester, Nancy Gill and Dave Vander Ark)

AND IN OUTDOOR SPORTS

Long Island striped bass poachers caught hiding fish in traffic cones

(Thanks to Ron T)

THE DUMMY WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Carpool violator busted in Southern California with ‘next level’ dummy

(Thanks to man tom and Ralph)

SPEAKING OF THE APOCALYPSE

World's first beauty contest with computer generated women

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THE EVENT WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

It’s Happening with Snooki & Joey

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "The final Sign of the Apocalypse.")

FOR ONLY £500

Bizarre new ‘trendy jeans’ makes it look like you’ve wet yourself

(Thanks to Barry Nester and Asher Scheiner, who says "I can do this for free.")

UH-OH

Hundreds of black 'spiders' spotted in mysterious 'Inca City' on Mars in new satellite photos News

(Thanks to Robert Moats and Ralph)

THE RAT BROTH IS STARTING TO LOOK BETTER

Hilton launches a £40 'taste of zero waste' menu across its flagship UK hotels - featuring cod tongues, potato peel chips, and treacle tart made of leftover sourdough

(Thanks to Roberto, who says "How to convince the gullible to eat leftovers, for only 40 pounds.")

JUST A BEER FOR US, THANKS

Mexican Food Stall Has Been Selling Rat Broth for Over Half a Century

(Thanks to Ralph)

ALERT LEVEL: MAXIMUM

Blades fall off Moulin Rouge windmill in Paris

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

IT BLENDS RIGHT IN

A studio apartment in the UK complete with its own prison cell has gone viral after it was listed for 750 pounds a month.

(Thanks to Ralph)

GOT A GATOR?

Call a Florida man.

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

WE'RE RICH

“Our urine is worth its weight in gold,” says researcher

(Thanks to Linda Schutjer and Roberto)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

When asked how much he had to drink, the driver responded: “Not enough”

(Thanks to MOTW)

CSI: MICHIGAN

Someone keeps pooping on headstones in Dearborn cemetery

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

King’s Horses Run Amok in London, Escaping Monarch’s Birthday-Parade Practice

(Thanks to al Barkafski)

THE DOWNSIDE: MORE COW EXPLOSIONS

Breeding cows that fart less could help curb global warming: new study

(Thanks to Steven Pudlo)

SHE WASN'T MESSY ENOUGH

'Male' hippo in Japan zoo found to be female after 7 years

A spokeswoman for the Osaka Tennoji Zoo told AFP on Tuesday that typical male hippo behaviour that Gen-chan was not displaying included making courtship calls to female hippos, or scattering faeces around while defecating with a propeller-like tail motion in order to mark territory.

(Thanks to B&C)

WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE, AND SMALLER, HANDCUFFS

Cicadas are so noisy in a South Carolina county that residents are calling the police

(Thanks to EricY)

HYDRATION IS IMPORTANT

London Marathon runner tastes 25 glasses of wine during race

(Thanks to MrX)

TERRORISM UPDATE

Among the safety concerns at the two general aviation airports, Reid-Hillview and San Martin, are wildlife, specifically ground squirrels, “potentially impacting the airfield pavement, signage and lighting,” according to the notice.

(Thanks to Ralph)

FORGETTING *WHAT?*

Putting worms on ice stops them forgetting

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Get that Nobel Prize ready.") 

AND IN SPORTS

9-year-old 'Seagull Boy' takes top spot in European screeching contest

(Thanks to MOTW and John Lobert)

IT FEELS PRETTY OLD TO SOME OF US

When does ‘old age’ really begin? Seniors think 75 is the new 65

(Thanks to Ron T)

KEEP THE FOOTBALL TEAM

How to fix college finances? Eliminate faculty, then students.

(Thanks to Steve K.)

'AUTO-BREWERY SYNDROME'

Belgian man whose body produces alcohol in rare condition acquitted of drunk driving

(Thanks to Ron T and The Perts)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

A dentist found an ancient human jawbone embedded in his parents’ tile floor

(Thanks to Steve K., who says "Must have been some party.")

WE MIGHT AS WELL SHRED THE CANADIAN CONSTITUTION, ASSUMING THEY HAVE ONE

Sask. police clamp down on driver with no steering wheel

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHERE

Hospital staff plead with bite victims to stop bringing snakes to emergency departments

(Thanks to Nancy Gill, John Lobert and Ralph)

IT'S JUST A BABY

Woman Zip-Lining Barely Avoids Alligator Jumping Out Of The Marsh

(Thanks to Rick Day)

WAY BETTER THAN AN INVISIBILITY SHIELD

Flamethrowing robot dog that can shoot fire up to 30ft goes on sale in US

(Thanks to Steve Pudlo and Allen at Division)