Dave Barry's Blog

THEY WON'T EVEN BUY YOU DINNER FIRST

These Florida monkeys could give you herpes.

(Thanks to Ron T)

FOOLS

Squirrel named Furry Boi elected to UC Berkeley student government

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

MAYBE NOT, BUT THE SALMON ENJOY IT

TikTokers are injecting salmon sperm into their faces to look younger - but does it work?

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT?

Right??

(Thanks to Nancy Gill)

SOMETIMES A MAN HAS TO TAKE A STAND

A convicted felon’s boozy rage over not being able to buy enough pumpkin doughnuts at a Brooklyn Dunkin’ could land him in a federal slammer for seven years.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "What else could he do?")

THE RULING *WHAT* PARTY?

Chaos broke out in Georgia’s parliament Monday after the leader of the ruling Dream Party was punched in the head as he addressed lawmakers about a controversial law.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

DOES THE SPACE STATION WANT IT BACK?

NASA confirms mystery object that crashed through roof of Florida home came from space station

(Thanks to Geoff Scott and Robert Moats)

NO.

Are Flying Cars Finally Here?

(Thanks to many people)

IN A LANDSLIDE

Earthworm crowned UK invertebrate of the year by Guardian readers

(Thanks to Ralph)

HAWAII TACKLES THE ISSUES

OFFICE OF THE GOVERNOR – NEWS RELEASE – GOV. GREEN DESIGNATES OFFICIAL STATE SNAILS

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT'S EITHER THAT OR THE LOCH NESS MONSTER

After purchasing a house with the view of flipping and making some easy cash, a couple was left spooked after noticing strange 'black masses' in their photos - with many convinced it's the ghost of the previous owner

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AND IN MOTOR SPORTS

Man balances running lawnmower on his chin for 9 minutes, 17 seconds

(Thanks to John Lobert) 

AND IN SPORTS ATTIRE

‘My hoo haa is gonna be out’: US Olympians slam Nike for skimpy women’s track kit

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

'HE'S A MAN OF THE PEOPLE!'

Boban Marjanović hilariously misses free throws on purpose to give Clippers fans free chicken

(Thanks to Robert Moats and Steve K.)

WE BLAME THE SQUIRRELS

Navigation marker goes missing off Florida Keys. Then, it shows up 4,300 miles away

(Thanks to Rick Day)