MARCH 17

It's International Talk Like an Irish Person Day, a.k.a. St. Patrick's Day. Have good one out there. Begorrah! ("Begorrah" is the traditional sound you make in the bathroom after you've had six or seven too many beers.)

Comments

[David EMery]

Demographic linguistics question: How many pirates were Irish, and how similar is Irish-speak to Pirate-speak?

[Pat & Mike]

'Still trying to understand how St. Patrick managed to get all the snakes out of Ireland and into Australia, was it because there was no indoor plumbing in Ireland at the time?

[anthony hight stewart]

Raise a glass to Seamus O'Hare
while drunk, he fought with a bear
to add to his fame
we heard him exclaim
"Sure the boyo had plenty of hair!"

[apfstg]

With blended knee I take a drink with thee..

[anthony hight stewart]

I'm only 7% Irish, but it counts.

[George O'Costanza]

Just because you came to the New World on a boat doesn't make you a pirate anymore than eating potatoes means you live in the Andes, Arrgh.

[Death Row Doc]

An Irish joke for St. Paddy's Day:

Pat and Mike were walking home after a night on the town. "Mike", said Pat, "it's late and we're both a bit tipsy, why don't you come in and spend the night at my place? You can sleep on the couch!"
"Thank ye so much!" said Mike
Pat opened the door to his apartment. Beside the couch was a huge gong.
"Faith and begorrah!" said Mike "What on earth is that?"
"Oh, that's just me talkin' clock!" replied Pat.
"Well how does it work?" asked Mike.
Mike picked up a hammer and hit the gong.
Suddenly there was a screaming voice from upstairs, "What the hell are you doing you idiot? Don't you know it's 3 o'clock in the morning?"

[Clankie]

Celebrate wisely. You can always fight a bear, the biker gang and that platoon of marines later on when you're sober.

[The Fourth George]

My wife and I went to York's St. Patrick's Day celebration yesterday and saw a lot of unusually dressed people.  In some cases it was hard to tell whether they hated the Irish or humanity in general.  Of course, they may have simply been color blind or, in a few cases, completely blind without realizing it.

Presumably, these people were still sober when they got dressed so they can't blame their sartorial excesses on too much green beer.

[Pat & Mike]

Let's raise a glass to that ughly one-eyed cat walking in to the bar, Pat. Well, what do say we drink to your eyesight gettin' better & that same cat who's actually walking out of the bar, Mike.

[The Ghost of Irish Zorro]

How do you think St. Patrick ended up in Ireland? A group of pirates kidnapped him and brought him over.

[Burt Macklin, FBI]

What is Irish and sits on the back porch?

Paddy O’Furniture!

[man tom]

“Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country. Then ask, Have you seen the legs on Gene Tierney?”

After her divorce from Oleg Cassini, Tierney met John F. Kennedy, a young World War II veteran, who was visiting the set of Dragonwyck in 1946. He claimed to be Irish. They began a romance that she ended the following year after Kennedy told her he could never marry her because of his political ambitions, namely Jackie who lied about being Irish. In 1960, Tierney sent Kennedy a note of congratulations on his victory in the presidential election. During this time, newspapers documented Tierney's other romantic relationships, including Kirk Douglas, King of Ireland from 6 B.C. to current.

[Pullet Surprise]

I asked Erin Go Bra if she attaches her underwear in the front or the back?