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February 02, 2024

SO BASICALLY SPRING BREAK

Terrifying 3,500-strong army of marauding MONKEYS invade city centre forcing tourists & locals to flee & shops to close

(Thanks to Mezrap and Al Barkafski)

Every single one has a valid Florida driver's license.

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“We live in a cage but the monkeys live outside,” Lopburi local Kuljira Taechawattanawanna told AFP.

I can almost pronounce that name.

The locals had been giving the monkeys sweets, fizzy drinks and cereal - sugary treats which are well known to make monkeys more hyper and sexually-active.

Well known? I didn't know that.

Back in 2020, authorities were able to use large fruits to lure several hundred monkeys into cages so that they could sterilise them. But now? “As soon as they see our faces they remember. They know what we’re going to do.”

They can't sterilize them. There are too many of them. They get aggressive when tourist season is over. Dave's right: Spring Break.

I don't understand the opposition to culling in such a situation. Is it really better to watch the monkeys starve or become cannibals? See how well that attracts tourists.

MOTW - in the city Lopbury, no one dares to do anything to the monkeys - they believe the monkeys belong to God.

*I'm telling the truth this time.

Oh, Diety-like Monkeys opened for Taylor Swift.

Just wait until they try and cross the I-95.

@man tom - I assume the Diety-like Monkeys were less corpulent than the Deity-like Monkeys I saw open for The Monkees.

Well MH, don't mind if I call you MH, I was referring to J.C. Monkeys. As is Jenny Craig Monkees.

My favorite monkey was not Davy or Peter. But Taylor.

In a typically magnanimous gesture, the kind for which Floridians are famous throughout the world, they are sending all their surplus Burmese Pythons to help ameliorate the crisis.

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