Dave Barry's Blog

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHERE

Highly venomous snake found among hanging clothes in child's closet

(Thanks to John Lobert)

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS AN UNEVENTFUL DRIVE

A Canadian tourist is lucky to be alive after he apparently took a wrong turn on a remote road in Hawaii and drove his rental car off a 60-foot cliff, before falling out of the vehicle and getting washed out to sea, authorities said.

(Thanks to B&C and Barry Nester, who says "But the GPS said...")

ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THIS WASN'T INTENTIONAL ON THE PART OF THE CAT?

The 59-year-old U.K. musician stumbled over his hairless sphinx cat and fell down 14 stairs, leaving him with “car crash” like injuries

(Thanks to B&C)

OTHER THAN THAT, A FOOLPROOF PLAN

Man robbed bank that shares building with police department: Police

(Thanks to Jerry Whittle)

THEY WERE INCOMPATIBLE WITH UNDERWEAR

Humans lost their tails during evolution — and NYU scientists think they’ve figured out why

(Thanks to Michael Parry and Ralph, who says "Because we'd hold our phones with them?")

IT WAS A CONSENTING WHALE

Brazil’s former President Jair Bolsonaro denies harassing whale

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

IT WAS ETC. AFTER ETC.

15-foot great white shark washes up on Florida beach

(Thanks to EricY, who says "The Oregon DOT has not been alerted.")

CANADA: NIGHTMARE, OR HELLHOLE?

Canadians will soon have to adjust their clocks an hour ahead as we draw closer to the start of spring.

(Thanks to Ed. Floden)

IT WOULD LAST *MAYBE* 30 SECONDS ON THE STREETS OF MIAMI

Swiss company Micro — maker of the happy little Microlino electric bubble car — just unveiled a production version of its Microlino Lite at the Geneva Motor Show.

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

'DUVANDER SAID SHE ALWAYS KNEW SHE HAD A LARGE TONGUE'

Oregon woman's tongue measures 5.21 inches in circumference

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT; WE JUST WANT YOU TO SEE THE HEADLINE

Drag queen helps kangaroo researcher win Dance Your PhD contest

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

CANADA: A NATION IN CHAOS

A mundane street pole in Toronto is getting attention as a community of artists builds a tower of LEGO – five feet and counting – around it.

(Thanks to The Perts)

AND IN SPORTS

Alligator attacks 2 people in a golf cart in southern Florida

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

Exactly what golf needs.

'THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU'RE EVER GOING TO USE IN THE REAL WORLD'

Musician plays through 81 amps at the same time for world record

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT RIDES A HARLEY

Tiny fish can make noises louder than an elephant, says new study

(Thanks to GJ)

THIS BLOG STANDS WITH FRANCE

France issues ban on using terms like steak and ham for plant protein products

(Thanks to The Perts)

PRETTY COOL

New video shows next US Navy supercarrier USS John F. Kennedy catapulting heavy cars into a river to make sure the warship can handle planes

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

This would be an excellent way to deal with illegally parked vehicles.

WE THOUGHT SO

More women may be psychopaths than previously thought, says expert

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston, who says "This expert may have had a few bad dates.")

SO HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT?

Cockroaches run wild aboard IndiGo airplane

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

VOLES HAVE LASTING LOVE?

Scientists probed the brains of prairie voles to find how sex leads to lasting love

(Thanks to Mezrap)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Wendy's to roll out Uber-style surge-pricing, with menu prices fluctuating based on demand

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

OH SHUT UP

‘Mary Poppins’ age rating increased in U.K. due to ‘discriminatory language’

(Thanks to The Perts)

IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY THE ROBOTS ARE SOME DAY GOING TO KILL US ALL

Watch this.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

WHAT?

Talking fast linked to better brain health in old age

(Thanks to Ron T)

CANADA: A NATION ON BRINK OF TOTAL CHAOS

Vancouver restaurant closed temporarily after allowing guests to dance

Inside Toronto's growing dumpster diving network

(Thanks to The Perts)

Deer breaks into Ontario recreation center, dives into pool

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Deer are just large, agile squirrels.")

PAGING DENZEL WASHINGTON*

Runaway ‘ghost train’ travels 43 miles without a driver after rolling off during crew changeover

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "I know I parked it here somewhere.")

*Reference here.

PRESUMABLY ON THE LEFT-HAND SIDE

Man holds up London street by riding a camel down the road

(Thanks to John Lobert and Ralph)

WELL IN THAT CASE, MA'AM....

California woman stole Amazon van because she ‘just needed to get back to San Jose’

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS

Vibrator virus steals your personal information

(Thanks to man tom and Steve K.)

AND IN SPORTS

A mother has had her $820,000 insurance claim dismissed by a court in Ireland after a picture emerged of her winning a contest to see who could toss a tree the farthest.

(Thanks to Matt Filar and MOTW)

DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS TO THE BLOG THAT WE DID NOT FINISH READING

Hello There,
Hope you are having a great day at work.

LOOKING FOR A SPECIAL GIFT FOR MOTHER'S DAY?

Your search is over.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

You can now play Doom on your lawnmower.

(Thanks to Ralph)

THEN IT PEED ON THE RESEARCHERS' SHOES

Researchers taught a robot dog to open a door with its leg

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

OH SHUT UP

Is Toilet Paper Bad For The Climate?

(Thanks to Ron T)

THE SCIENCE IS (HIC) SETTLED

The aim of this study was to investigate the influence of the combination and order of beer and wine consumption on hangover intensity.

(Thanks to this blog's college roomie, Dr. Robert Stavis, with whom this blog conducted a great deal of field research on this topic Back in the Day.) 

AND IN CANADIAN SPORTS

The Vancouver Canucks Green Men Made A Triumphant Return

(Thanks to EricY, who says "I can now resume living again.")

HOW VERY GENEROUS OF THE INVASIVE JORŌ SPIDER

Invasive Jorō spider is surprisingly tolerant of busy urban settings, according to new study

(Thanks to EricY and Ron T)

THAT EXPLAINS THE PUNCHBOWL INCIDENT

If Alcohol Ever Makes You Poop Weird, Experts Say This Is The Reason Why

(Thanks to EricY)

WERE WE PROMISED FOLDING CARS?

Israeli developed folding car could change urban driving

(Thanks to Mezrap, Ron T and Barry Nester)

WHAT, THIS HORSE, OFFICERS?

Man caught leading stolen horse up staircase of apartment block in Poland

(Thanks to Ralph)

FESTIVE!

Blackpool Zoo collecting glittery female elephant poo to determine pregnancy

(Thanks to Ralph)

STAND TALL, KARBI COMMUNITY

721 members of India's Karbi community walk on stilts for world record

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AND IN FLORIDA SPORTS

Florida Man Games sees tank-topped teams evade police and wrestle over beer

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT US TO BELIEVE

No, pinecones with tiny cameras inside aren’t being placed around Monroe County (we don’t think)

(Thanks to Ralph, who says "You know who is behind this.")

WE HARDLY RECOGNIZE THIS COUNTRY ANY MORE

West Virginia’s last Hooters is being torn down. Locals are planning a candlelit vigil.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

AND IN SPORTS

“A lot of the rhetoric is confirmation that the pants are see-through.”

(Thanks to Ron T) 

INCREDIBLY, IT'S NOT BAGIPES

Musical Instrument Banned For Causing Dizziness And Even Death

(Thanks to Rick Day)

AUSTRALIA SAYS 'HOLD MY BEER'

Snake discovery as explorers identify new species of anaconda that's the 'biggest of all'

(Thanks to Ron T)

IN MIAMI WE CALL THIS AN EMERGENCY KIT

Police search a car and find cocaine -- and a US Army rocket launcher

(Thanks to MOTW)