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February 06, 2024

ALERT LEVEL: HIGHEST

Spain fumes over French 'inedible tomatoes' comments as 'tomato war' rages on

(Thanks to Ralph)

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I fart in your general direction, Monsieur Smelly.

While the Italian tomato farmers benefit from the conflict, as foretold by Machiavelli.

Rated Code Red on Rotten Tomatoes?

One man's garbage is another man's organics.

Are you two going to fight AGAIN? Sigh....

Rediscovering a long lost chapter of Gulliver's Travels.

I remember an old Andy Rooney column where he complained that tomato growers don't care about the taste as long as they can be packed in a box without damage.

Let's call the whole thing off.

Unbeatable vs Uneatable.

French fried tomatoes taste like fine Corinthian leather.

S. Florida has both yams and tomatoes. We even have a road that commemorates this: Yamato Rd.

On the plus side, Paris in the springtime is well known for having lovely tomatoes.

French officials have revealed, despite the high visibility of their white flag, the terror-stricken country has deployed this guy, a proven dependable operative, to carry out out initial plans to crush the advances of Spain's highly armed unpalatable tomato invaders. In addition, France has deployed, this additional guy, a secret reliable TV actor to lead our never won any war fighting force against Spain's bad taste tomato pushing war machine.

Kissing the feet of our saviors is not beyond the realm of grateful possibilities we will sink to being the highly disliked nation we have always been throughout history. Have no Delulu Spain. Our intentions are filled with fear.

A message to the British, "it's probably rectal cancer". We have you on the run!

No one expected the Spanish tomato inquisition!

@Ron G in WA - “Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as….”

Never fall behind in a tomato war cuz it's hard to ketchup.

Heinz-site is 20/20.

Spain's fumes were probably caused by too much garlic, iykwim.

This may be my favorite story of 2024.

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