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December 27, 2023


A man wearing a dress and carrying a dildo allegedly tried to burglarize the Florida residence of a 69-year-old woman, according to police who also charged the suspect with stalking.

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)


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Apparently not all 69-year-old woman take having a stalker as a compliment, though I suppose presentation may have something to do with it too.

I get that this guy is a lowlife, but since when is a dildo classified as "burglar's tools"?



Can we assume, that in this instance, the term "stalking" refers to the manner in which the dildo was being transported?

The woman sounded pretty stupid for reporting this. Seems like she would welcome the guy in. "Well, why don't you and Mr. Dildo come in for some tea"?

Brandishing a dildo with intent seems like a clear violation of the Florida Penal Code.

So she can't get no satisfaction?

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