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December 27, 2023


For the next week or so this blog will be on a New Year hiatus (from the ancient Greek words “hia,” meaning “time,” and “tus,” meaning “when we do not blog as often as usual”). During most of this period we will be in a foreign nation located completely outside of the United States. At some point in the next few days the Miami Herald will risk its reputation by publishing our annual Year in Review, and we (or judi, if she has not been fired) will attempt to post a link to that, assuming the foreign nation has discovered the Internet. In any event, we wish you all a happy and festive New Year’s Eve filled with joy and auld lang syne, whatever the hell that is.


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I always look forward to Dave’s year-in-review article, as it goes so far toward putting the absurdities of our time in at least a humorous perspective.

Enjoy your travels, Dave. And if you include some time travel along the way, we’ll expect to see some proof of it bubbling up in old photos, paintings, and Mirror articles throughout the coming year.

Have a great trip, Dave. So, not Flathead County, then. Hmm, "completely outside" the US? How about a prize for whoever guesses the right country. I'm guessing NOT Australia.

So you'll be on hiatus in NYC?

Just in case you run short, I've got some old lawn signs back in the garage somewhere.

I thought it came from "hia" and "tush" - one's posterior. So 'hiatus' is "time spent sitting on your ass." Enjoy the time away, things will still be screwed up when you get back...

I am going to guess that this foreign nation located completely outside of the United States rhymes with "Schmotland". Right or wrong, have a safe trip!

My guess. Post pictures.

Enjoy the time away. North Korea is lovely this time of year.

Here's an article detailing the rear end, year end review of items people have gotten stuck in their orifices in 2023.

A foreign nation. Dave is finally vacationing in California?

I had a hiatus once. It was cured by antibiotics, so I think you will recover too, Dave.

Some traveling music...

Don't drink the water.

Passport To Paradise

Have a good trip.
I hear Iceland's a good place to go this time of year. No long lines to see whatever it is you can see in Iceland.

Lorena Bobbitt Redux

Men, do NOT click *HERE*

When questioned why he did such a thing, the husband minus his weenie explained, "all I wanted to do was..."

A classic Cruise column by Dave...

After another hectic holiday season, Mariah needs a vacation too!

Happy New Year, Sir (and Judi!).

I might have seen you on the train in Tokyo once, unless it was just wishful thinking. But that was quite a few years ago so perhaps you will stop by again (on your way back from North Korea). I’ll be wearing my bowler for easy identification.

Good luck with your hiatus hernia Dave. They usually repair it via laparoscopic surgery and nylon mesh.

Avoid heavy lifting for 4-6 weeks and sex may be painful for a month or so. Be sure to lubricate your dominant hand.

A foreign nation — someplace like Miami?

If you're visiting a foreign nation completely outside of the United States, you won't have any trouble finding a room, since they're all here or on their way.

Soon you'll be able to visit a foreign nation completely inside the United States.

“There was a man whose name was Lang
He had a neon sign
Now Mr. Lang was very old
So they called it Old Lang’s Sign”♫

Dave Barry Year in Review: 2023 was the year that AI and pickleball came for humanity

How do I see the review without having to sign up to receive the Herald?

Try using the DuckDuckGo web browser.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye
I wish you well, it's time you went to fly

We'll leave the light on for ya.

Sounds like Dave scored one of those last minute cruise cancellation state rooms, so have fun in Bimini, but watch out for any quickly forming land masses.

It's hit or miss accessing online articles, depending on your web browser settings.

Search for an article that explains how to 'opt-out of third party cookies' in your browser settings on your phone or computer. That can be a quick fix.

Hey, Dave, before you leave, can I get my lawn mower back? Or just leave me the code for your garage door and I can get it myself. Rather do it that way than depend on Walter to haul it out of your garage. And don't forget the extension cord that goes with it. Or maybe you should just keep the cord since last time we did this Walter kept running over the cord and cut it in several places. "Cut the grass, not the cord, Walter."

Dave - here are some thoughts that I feel are important for your hiatus:

- Many people go outside the US for medical procedures

- Follow what the medicos tell you to do and make sure you have a good translator around to make sure you understand exactly what the 'doctor' says.

- Have judi pick out some comfortable and sensible lingerie for you as you are going to be wearing this all close to your intimates and privates - that is if she is not still fired

- Have several friends who have done this same thing and they say the toughest part is getting used to wearing those high-heeled shoes

P. Surprise

I for one will binge watch my complete set of 'Dave's World' DVD's while he is out of the country.

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