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November 08, 2023


The entrance to this public bathroom in a shopping centre shows you how many stalls are available, the wait time (if needed) and the air quality.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)


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If the plant is wilted, seek relief elsewhere.


So the time-management bureaucrats have gotten their mitts on this, determining the optimal amount of time for this activity just as they determine the amount of time to weld a bumper onto a car body. Will the wait time be displayed inside the stall, like a timer? When it hits zero, does the toilet automatically flush, the TP dispenser retract into the wall, and the stall door open?

If it smells like Pecorino-Romano wouldn't that make the air quality high?

Everyone should be on a bathroom schedule.

I suppose air quality is measured by VOCs volatile organic compounds.
If you see people exiting a public bathroom in a hurry with their hands over their noses, you'll know there is no quality of the air in there.

@wanderer, you've thought about this a lot, haven't you?

Maybe they should keep a canary in the mens bathroom.

It probably wouldn't be the first of the last bird to be choked in there.

@MOTW, I'll feel better when I can *smack* someone with a tuba.

Speaking of hot weather, watching the trained meteorologist one night give the forecast, he said the high will be 99 but the “feels like” temperature will be 112. I thought he just pulled that number out of his rear because it won’t feel a degree over 111.
When I was a kid, I spent every summer working in my granddad’s blacksmith shop in Texas and some farmer would come in and tell us the weather. “It’s hotter than a two-peckered owl in the hen house,” and we’d know to not go stand in the sun because it would be hot.

I had the idea though that we need a similar scale for smells. Suppose you’re on an airplane and some fat guy who had two Taco Bell burritos for dinner last night and they now are fully fermented, goes into the lone working bathroom. If the bathroom has been fitted with a functional odormometer (pronounced odor-mometer, like ther-mometer), a sign in the cabin will flash the actual odor in the bathroom is 99, but it smells like 112. We would know not to go in right away because a college-trained, government employed, expert odorologist has told us that any odor over 108 will make your knees buckle no matter how over-hydrated you are. We’ll just hold our water till we land in New Zealand. This also would be useful in the case of explosive diarrhea or being seated next to a f*rting dog, both of which made the news recently.

And we likely could have an app for our phone that would act as an odormometer. If we’re with a group of people and the apps excessive smell alarm goes off, the app would immediately holler “All right, who cut the cheese?” and release a squirt of air freshener. I think this would be a major leap forward for civilization and help clear the air, so to speak. I’ve copyrighted this idea and will spend future days brainstorming new uses for the odormometer.

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