Dave Barry's Blog

AND IN GUY SPORTS

...this is a video of Pablo Rochat (who also made that awesome Hot Wheels hot dog launcher) and a friend playing a game of foosball on top of a grill, using roasting weenies for the players and an aluminum foil ball.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

'THE BAND CONSTANTLY LEFT THE STAGE TO ARGUE'

Rock Band Gets in Huge Fight on Stage, Cancels Rest of Tour

(Thanks to Rick Day)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA VEHICLE REGISTRATION

A car-sized tumbleweed made quite a scene on a California highway

(Thanks to GJ and Ralph)

SURE, WHY NOT

Is this the latest Nessie sighting?

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

USUALLY IT'S PHOTOGRAPHED IN THE NYC SUBWAY SYSTEM

Giant 1.5-foot-long rat that can crack open coconuts photographed for 1st time on remote island

(Thanks to Frank)

BEAVERS ARE BASICALLY LARGE SWIMMING SQUIRRELS

A hungry beaver is chomping on the Tidal Basin’s cherry trees

(Thanks to The Perts)

AND IT ENDED IN A BRAWL INVOLVING COCAINE

First Thanksgiving wasn’t in Plymouth — it was in Florida 56 years prior: historian

(Thanks to John Lobert and Buck Nekkid)

YES. IT MEANS THEY'RE ABOUT TO SNEEZE.

Is Jellyfish Mucus a Warning Sign of Sorts?

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

THERE IS NOTHING MORE UNNATURAL THAN NATURE

Worm’s butt grows eyes and then swims away to make babies

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston, who says "Don't try this at home.")

THIS IS WHY WE NEED EXPERTS

How bad is it if you pee in the shower? Here’s what experts say.

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

AUSTRALIA: OVERRUN WITH SNAKES, BUT SAFE FROM UNDECLARED SANDWICHES

I forgot to declare a chicken sandwich at customs and got charged nearly $2K

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE'RE SO CLOSE, PEOPLE

According to a documentary film crew that was present for a large-scale search for the Loch Ness Monster back in August, the elusive beast could be an algae-based creature.

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

IOWA: STATE OF ROMANCE

Dude, those aren’t instructions on the sign, that’s just the name of the gas station.

(Thanks to Linda Schutjer)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Self-proclaimed 'gay furry hackers' breach nuclear lab

(Thanks to Ralph)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT; AUSTRALIA UNIMPRESSED

Police warn residents to stay indoors after "extremely venomous" green mamba snake escapes in the Netherlands

(Thanks to The Perts, EricY and Not My Usual Alias)

DOING YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING?

This won't help at all.

THIS SKILL IS ALSO USEFUL WHEN YOU MISS YOUR EXIT ON I-95

This is a video of a safari driver quickly reversing for almost a whole minute to avoid a charging rhino in Africa.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Giant, inflatable Whopper goes rogue, rolls through Newberg

(Thanks to Ralph)

DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS TO THE BLOG THAT WE DID NOT FINISH READING

Dear Dr. Dave Barry,

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

We're thankful for all of you who read and/or send stuff to this blog. We hope you never come to your senses.

CANADA: THE NIGHTMARE NEXT DOOR

A population of hard-to-eradicate ‘super pigs’ in Canada is threatening to invade the US

(Thanks to Barry Nester, Alkali Bill and Charles Cates)

WE ARE SHOCKED, SHOCKED

Half of Americans admit to overeating during the holiday season

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

Only half?

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

Deep space astronauts may be prone to erectile dysfunction, study finds

(Thanks to Barry Nester and Annette)

IT HAD FALLEN BETWEEN THE SOFA CUSHIONS

'Missing' blob of water predicted to be in the Atlantic finally found

(Thanks to EricY)

THOSE THINGS SHOULD NOT BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Florida man throws package of Oreos at wife while arguing over empty coffee maker

(Thanks to EricY)

THE 'HELL ON WALKERS' TOUR

The Rolling Stones are hitting the road next year on a tour sponsored by AARP

(Thanks to EricY)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Australian scientists have created the world’s smallest moustache

(Thanks to MAC)

NEEDLESS TO SAY IT PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Police find hair sticking out of vehicle's trunk belonged to mannequin

(Thanks to John Lobert)

EXTREMELY HARD PASS

Your Thanksgiving Alligator Is Ready for Pickup

(Thanks to Ralph)

'NURSE, HAND ME THE SWATTER'

Mystery as fully intact fly is found buzzing around inside a Missouri man's INTESTINES during a routine colonoscopy

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

OOPS

A Georgia woman accidentally tipped more than $7,000 for a Subway sandwich

(Thanks to GJ)

STILL GRIPPING ITS VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Florida man finds fully intact mammoth jaw while diving in alligator-infested waters

(Thanks to Pauller, who says "No wonder the mammoths went extinct.")

IT SAYS OUR WARRANTY IS ABOUT TO EXPIRE

Earth Just Received A Laser-Beamed Message From 16 Million Kilometers Away

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

YET ANOTHER PRESTIGIOUS HONOR

(Thanks to ubetcha)

A GRATEFUL WORLD REJOICES

Snoop Dogg isn’t quitting weed after all

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

CSI: CANADA

Police in Mission, B.C., say they are seeking the owner of half a kilogram of cocaine that was hidden in a public restroom's ceiling and anyone who wants to claim the drugs should bring "proof of purchase."

(Thanks to Worry Pas, B&C and Doug Ogg)

FLORIDA DRIVER OF THE WEEK SO FAR

'Upset' Florida man, 76, backs over staff member at car show after he was kicked out, police say

Hey, the man was upset.

(Thanks to Barry Nester, who says "What else could he do?")

GUY BATS IN ACTION

Serotine bats use penises in bizarre way during sex, scientists say

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid, Linda Schutjer, Robert Moats and Ralph)

AND IN DENTAL SPORTS

Kalpana Balan has six more teeth in her mouth than the average adult, earning her the record for the most teeth in a person's mouth (female), Guinness World Records announced.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AS WE WERE PROMISED

Out-of-control Tesla flies over swimming pool, crashes into California home

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

THEY GROW UP SO FAST

Toddler pulls handgun from mother’s purse, fires shot inside Ohio Walmart

(Thanks to Geoff Scott)

WE BLAME GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE

Wallace and Gromit studio Aardman Animations running out of clay

(Thanks to Alkali Bill)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

4:38 a.m. A man was fearful that the Jehovah’s Witnesses were after him.

9:33 a.m. A man was banned from entering a church after he mooned someone during a service.

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

BUT IT DID HAVE A VALID FLORIDA LICENSE

A car with no driver narrowly missed a trooper’s vehicle before crashing into a car parked at a Northern Michigan gas station.

(Thanks to Dave Vander Ark)

EVEN WORSE

‘Cougar’ Spotted In Oregon That Kicked Off City-Wide Warning Was Actually A House Cat

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

BECAUSE YOU NEED MORE THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT

Sex toys can cause diabetes, scientists warn

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

THOSE WERE SOME CONFUSED CARP

The newest offering, much like every other year, features scantily clad or naked models posing with giant carp - who were caught just before they were handed to the girls to hold while they posed.

(Thanks to Annette)

THE END OF AN ERA

Chuck E. Cheese has announced that it will be removing its iconic animatronic bands from all locations, except for one in Los Angeles.

(Thanks to man tom)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

"Magical" Penis With Wings Found At Roman Site In Serbia

(Thanks to wiredog)

CANADA: A NATION RULED BY ANARCHY

Gorgeous pumpkin with valuable seeds stolen from North Vancouver gardener

(Thanks to The Perts)