WE HAVE AN IDEA HOW HE MIGHT TRY TO AVOID GOING TO PRISON

Man arrested after faking 20 heart attacks to avoid paying restaurant bills

(Thanks to B&C and Jay Brandes)

Comments

[man tom]

I have witnessed a neighbor, the Iranian bar girl Sheba, on numerous occasions fake a heart attack, sometimes in her front yard, when police are summoned due her beating the crap out of her soul mate my neighbor, Ayatollah. I have known him over 20 years and can not pronounce his name, my other neighbor, Noel pronounced Noelle like a girl, calls him Sean. Sean is really a very nice man with a very violent, often drunk, girlfriend.

Usually a fire truck with paramedics and as many as three to five police cruisers show up and strap her, fake heart attack and all, onto a gurney and haul her away. I was told by other neighbors if Sean keeps calling the police both will be arrested for domestic violence. The fake heart attack puts a hold on any fight to the deah related charges. I have listened to them slamming one another against the walls. Besides being a creep, Sheeba is insane.

If you have never witnessed up close someone faking a heart attack, I can tell you it is humorous as well as being worthy of some social award for stupidity.

[cfjk]

If he lives next to the hospital he even saves on the uber.

[Pullet Surprise]

So it was a true cardiac arrest?

[the first responders]

We told him one more heart attack and we will defibrilate him back to life using our tasers.

[MOTW]

How many of his grandmothers died?

[man tom]

This is the big one.

[wanderer2575]

The immortal words of Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester: "Be forewarned, Private Mosconi, the next time we meet I plan to perform major surgery -- whether you need it or not."