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September 06, 2023

THE ANSWER IS: MUCUS FROM A SNAIL

What is snail mucus? That was the question posed by researchers

(Thanks to John Lobert)

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I'm with you, Dave. Sheesh.

.. and here's Ze Frank's true facts presentation on snails

Some of you scoff at this and say it is snot funny. It is what makes them es-car-go.

Snail Mucus slowly opened for Steppenwolf.

Word has it about a big celebratory event coming up this month - 'Talk Like a Pilot Day'. Get out your wings and set your flaps - "American 549 ready for take off out of Miami International headed for Burning Man."

Had you ever seen a snail sneeze, you wouldn't ask such a foolish question.

I think it's something like potato salad in a cooler at Sheetz.

Who cares? That's the question posed on the blog.

“Everyone is fascinated and disgusted by mucus. However, most people don’t realize just how complex and elegant these secretions are,” said the study’s principal investigator Adam Braunschweig"

Bette Nesmith Graham immediately fired off an email saying, "Mr. Braunschweiger, my child may have turned out to be a monkey, but I am certain any offspring derived of your elegant secretions is an idiot."

Huh, I thought "Snail Mucus" was a Punk Band that opened for the Sex Pistols...

As our daughter was going back to school on Labor Day she asked if she could buy snail mucus for her skin. I was gabsmocked (I was wearing a smock at the time). I looked it up on Amazon and there is a huge selection of snail mucus (or mucin) products designed to make one beautiful. There's even an "essence."

I'm betting all these dumb ideas originate during or after Beer :30.

@Peter M
Gen. Ripper expounding on essence in Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

General Jack D. Ripper : Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : Hmm.

General Jack D. Ripper : I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake : No.

General Jack D. Ripper : But I do deny them my essence.

Peter M. That's pretty great. I remember preparing for my first experience to begin attending 7th grade, Jr. High. I asked my mom for some new shirts and shoes. She took me to J.C. Penny and bought me three new shirts and three new pairs of pants. The shirts were solid colors green, blue and pale red all the same pattern. I also got a new pair of Penny Loafers. Back in 1967 the boys were required to wear their shirttails inside their pants and the girls were allowed to wear dresses, slacks were not allowed.

So I will never forget those three shirts. So when I entered 9th grade, Sr. High in 1969 I noticed this guy, who was so cock BTW, wearing a shirt I later learned was called a Pendleton. To this day I can not afford a genuine Pendleton. Shirttails tucked away as still the rule that year. The girls finally begged the Principal to let them wear slacks, actually started out shorts because the weather was so hot in the summer months, then came slacks later. During those years if a girl I liked had ask me to wear snail mucus I would have said, "no problem, I can swallow some if you want me too."

I have a horseshoe taps story.

@ MOTW - the bestest film ever made, satiric or otherwise.

@man tom - I remember those days. Guys couldn’t wear jeans. Their shirttails had to be tucked in. Later the rules were relaxed and shirttails could be worn out if they were the kind that were squared at the bottom. Girls had to wear dresses or skirts. And they couldn’t be shorter than two inches above the crack in the back of the knee. Then they could wear trousers if they were part of a pantsuit. Nowadays, I believe the same school has no dress code whatsoever.

@Mad Hatter - I think you and I went to the same school. Dress code-wise no doubt. I wore exclusively slacks through Jr. High and probably the first year, or part of it, in high school. I entered high school a couple of months after the moon landing, just after Woodstock and just after the Manson murders. I got the impression you have lived in Japan for a long while. Obviously you went to high school here in the states with a dress code like that. Would have been cool if you were a high school classmate of Yoko Ono. Best friends-like.

My high school was populated by a super diverse student body. First of all, the school was number one both academically and in sports in the state for years during the immediate years before I attended. The school was still excellent. Excellent teachers, excellent program for young people to flourish in. The school's motto, I guess it was a motto, was to prepare it's students to become informed, productive members of society...something like that.

The school had a LOT of really attractive girls attending when I was there. I mean a LOT of girls. One of the state University's was located in the school district. The professors, Dr's, lawyers, business people lived there. I lived on the other side of the tracks. Way, way on the other side of the tracks. I wasn't allowed to look at the girls from the right side of the track. Sometimes I peeked. But anyway, it was not until recently I figured it out. A large, famous all girls school was located in the district and the school was surrounded by Catholic schools. Lots of Catholic schools who's kids begged their parents to let them attend the district high school. I had a couple of girlfriends from the Catholic schools. One's father was the Mayor and Fire Marshall. The other made 4 million dollars a few years ago. I know, "I'm an idiot!" My high school sweetheart looked like a cross between Maria Osmond and Raquel Welch. She favored Raquel where it counted. She was the prettiest girl in the school including the future Playboy Centerfold model she had in her gym class. I was introduced to an underclass 9th grader future Playboy Centerfold. I was in the 11th grade when I met her. I was already in big time with Raquel Welch so I didn't push it, them, but I picked up on the 9th grade future centerfold checking me out. Could have been she knew my girlfriend was the Mayor's daughter and liked the idea of competing for me. Could not have been the reason, too.

My formative years were...formative. I mean meeting a future Playboy Centerfold when she was in 9th grade while I went with a girl who trumped her was character building. Formative. So, my 50th high school reunion is next month. I'm not going, but sent them the money anyway. The girlfriend who made 4 million dollars recently did not attend my high school or I would go to the festivities and ask her is she would like to reminisce old times and go skinny dipping at one of the several lakes she owns. She would say yes. You can hold me up like old times. I won't be able to sleep tonight thinking about it.

I have a pretty Great Niece, I think, my sister's granddaughter who recently joined the ROTC. Pretty great in the sense of will do great things no doubt.

Here she is probably today, classy place to take a picture BTW, in her new Army uniform.

Here she is a while back with her high school sweetheart who she dumped maybe for months ago. He may never get over it. We are worried about him.

Warning!! Not safe for work.

Here is a full blown layout of the aforementioned Playboy Centerfold I met when she was a freshman.

Snot funny.

Seems a somewhat salty lot here.

The moths got to my Pendleton shirt. Bastards.

IIRC, my high school didn't have a dress code. It didn't need one as the parents generally made sure we dressed decently for class. And if the parents didn't, peer pressure would.

IIRC, my high school didn't have a dress code. It didn't need one as the parents generally made sure we dressed decently for class. And if the parents didn't, peer pressure would.

wiredog - my high school had a gym teacher who had a wooden paddle for the most uncooperative students. The paddle had holes drilled in it for maximum effect. Two of my friends felt the sting of that paddle. I had that teacher for swim class. The guys were required to take swim class freshman year. The pool was indoor inside the basement of an old gymnasium. I mention this because the guys swim classes were conducted with every guy being totally naked. That's right. Naked swim class. It was a sort of tradition at the high school. No one believes this, but absolutely true.
Can you imagine if there was a high school today requiring the guys to swim naked with a large muscular former football star gym teacher with a wooden paddle with holes drilled in it awaiting you in his office should you get out of line? I believe there was an assistant principle who also had a paddle in his office.

ripleysparrow - would you consider selling it if the moth damage is not noticeable, blends in with pattern? Or trade? I have some old socks of historical moldy value I can let go.

Have they checked typepad for snail mucus?

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