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September 06, 2023

BORRRR-ING

An asteroid as big as a house is scheduled to pass Earth on Wednesday

(Thanks to Keith in Tampa)

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If it’s a split-level house, no takers here. I’ll be glad to see it pass by.

OK, it's a bit of a fixer-upper, but it will whiz by dependable public transportation and is within twenty-six hippos of an outstanding school district.

Is it listed on airbnb?

Pretty imprecise. A tiny house, or Taylor Swift's? The difference might be jillions of species' extinction.

Is that a European villa or an African hut? Is it part of an HOA?

Of all the asteroids listed in the article, the closest one to hitting us is still over 5 times the distance to the moon.

Well, somebody at the "Asteroid Naming Department" took the day off!

I thought I was constipated but then I passed a lawyer. So a passing asteroid is no big deal.

How many giraffes is that?

I think it has to be spotted before they determine it's size in giraffes.

3.17 million miles? Everybody panic - that's only 13 times the distance to the moon...

That's close, but not close enough that I feel like my potato salad would be safer in the Sheetz fridge up the road.

"Pass Earth"? Well that's gonna hurt, 'cuz Earth is bigger than a kidney stone.

"Auntie Em, Auntie Em!!"

So I have been keeping a running record of these nearby flyby asteroids as reported in this blog - such as 'size matters' - and have to say this one, compared to all the others, deserves an asterisk.

Perhaps the commander in chief of the DBBlog could convene and international symposium on standardizing the size descriptions of asteroids. Participants would get their own Florida driver's license, a python belt, and alligator shoes. Part of the event could include a group tour of all the drive-up windows in Miami, and a scavenger hunt for Santa Claus lawn gnomes. Whadaysay?

Speaking of distance to the moon, have you ever seen a graphic representation of the Earth's size, the Moon's size, and the distance between them drawn to scale? Once you do, it will shatter your preconception about their relative distance.

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