Dave Barry's Blog

WHILE DECENT HARDWORKING AMERICANS GO HUNGRY

Squirrels Nervously Enjoy a Custom Charcuterie Board

(Thanks to Rick Day and John Lobert)

OK, BUT ONLY IF HE PLAYS A CAT

THE JAPANESE MAN who found global fame after transforming himself into a “dog” through a $16,000 rough collie costume has expressed his wish to star in a movie.

(Thanks to EricY)

GOTTA GET UP FOR THE BIG GAME

North Texas coach spent $5,455.18 at strip club with high school credit card, police say

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

LUCY UPDATE

We're back at the vet, because Lucy was so happy to be home that she wagged her tail bandage halfway off (the arrow shows where her actual tail ends). The original bandage, in blue, is barely hanging on; we used the purple athletic tape -- left over from our daughter's soccer career -- to try to keep it attached to Lucy.

This is the latest edition of: The Tail of Lucy.

THIS MAY VOID THE WARRANTY

This is some security cam footage from an electronics store in Fujian, China, starring a woman who chews through the security cord of an iPhone 14 Plus in order to steal it.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

GUESS THE CONTINENT

Horrifying moment unsuspecting driver finds giant python lurking in his car engine

(Thanks to Rick Day)

CLUTCHED IN THOSE THREE-FINGERED HANDS WERE VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

'Alien' bodies with three-fingered hands, 'unknown DNA and eggs inside' are presented by UFO expert at Mexican congress - with the 'non-humans' found in Peru said to be 1,000 years old

(Thanks to B&C, vee and Emily, Leslie and w, who says "Bet they had flying cars.")

WE THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

A Tennessee man has pleaded guilty to pointing an AK-47 rifle at Little Caesars employees because his $6 pepperoni pizza was taking too long to cook, records show.

(Thanks to Barry Nester, who asks "What else could he do?")

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

American woman admits to not wiping her bum for the past two years

(Thanks to Ralph)

UPDATE

OK, apparently the blog is back. We gave up on it yesterday, partly because we had a medical crisis involving Lucy the Blog Dog, who had an incident with her tail that left her very sad. She's doing better now but needs a lot of treats.

TEST

Is this thing on?