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August 27, 2023

ALWAYS READ THE MANUAL

A married couple desperate for a baby have been told they've been having sex the wrong way for four years - which is why they failed to concieve.

(Thanks to Roberto)

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So they were holding the instruction manual upside down?

RTFM

Or maybe they read the manual back-to-front?

I can see a commercial for Foster Grant reading glasses in the works.

"Is your partner experiencing unusual pain during intercourse?" That old saying, "how many fingers am I holding up," may not be so far off as you think while entertaining intimacy with your partner, when considering their visual preciseness or IQ." "Foster Grant's new line of 'Sex Organ Finders' can make you see your sexual experiences in whole new way, like never before." "Designed especially for the most stupid people on Earth."

As the great Cecil Adams (straightdope.com) said 30 years ago: "Luckily for the perpetuation of the species, there's always been Louie in the schoolyard to explain how things really worked."

Finally praise the lord.

Believeable? Not.

Hmmm…. This casts doubt on my theory that porn exists to employ people who are just too stupid to do anything else.

Fits right in with my idea of sex - thinking about it or talking about it. But I guess there is also reading about it and watching it on some porn channel. Oh, there's another purpose for all that?

Are these people now expecting to be able to raise a child?

A bit behind on their reading?

So if they decided to make a tv series about this situation I can see where there would be problems, e.g.,

1. The first six episodes would be about 'finding' themselves with no success at the actual delivery of the key chemicals to the key chemicals.

2. The next five episodes cover the love act after reading, watching, and coaching by appropriate professionals.

3. Following four episodes that track the potential gestation of the fetus up to "I have missed a period." announcement.

4. Five episodes of the baby growing inside the 'mother's stomach'.

5. One episode of the actual birth.

6. Four episodes of junior going to school at K thru graduation from high school.

7 One episode, plot to be determined, junior:

a. Goes off to a prestigious college
b. Goes off to a community college
c. Joins the military
d. Gets a job as a public servant
f. Winds up living off the street
g. Decides he does not like his gender and takes appropriate actions.

So, there you go, a 26 episodes of a naive couple that finally figures it out. So would they be subject to the actor's/writer's strike?

Were they kicked out of Mensa?

1. China's population is 1.426 billion, up from 1.412 billion last December. Someone in China is reading the manual.

2. Do we really want to have people like this pass on their genes to another generation?

I heard this as a bad joke decades ago.
Also, let's face it, men never ask for directions.

There was a Star Trek episode based on this premise. A couple from the Enterprise had to demonstrate for an “unenlightened” planet, although the scene ended tastefully after the kissing stage.

Mad hatter- which episode/series? I’ve seen most, and don’t recall that.

@Chuck - Cursory research leads me to an episode called The Apple—#5 in Season 2. I hope I didn’t get your hopes up too much by possibly overstating the case…

On the plus side, she didn't marry an alien.

There's a wrong way?

There is no wrong way.

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